It's Gonna Be My Year

It was a month before Christmas break and Mom had decided that the family should go on a ‘family bonding road trip!’ Mom said that I could take Jack if I stopped starting fights with Dad and Tom. Which I guess was understandable but still! They have been picking fights with me these past couple of weeks. NOT the other way around.

School was pretty easy because we’d done all of our tests and were just tying up loose ends. I was seriously done with school but I pushed through it because Jack was there. Ah yes, I hadn’t asked Jack about our holiday and I was really nervous. I really hoped he said yes otherwise I was going to be in hell.

I was walking up to school when I saw Jack trip up in front of me. Of course it was my extra clumsy boyfriend. I ran over to help him up and I could feel a big, dopey smile on my face.

“Hey baby,” I said coming over to help him up. “Are you ok?”

He stood and smiled down at me. Yes, down. Jack was quite tall and I was still on the small side. He was 5’11” and I was only 5’7” and he made fun of me ALL THE TIME for it, but I knew I’d be tall one day. One day! He bent down and kissed me, wiping my brain clear of anything except Jack, Jack, Jack.

Well that and the nervousness which was coming back full force.

“Pretty good now you’re here. I only got a scraped palm this time!” He said, sounding super excited over getting limited injuries, which was really fucking sad.

“That, was super cheesy.”

“But you love cheese so it’s ok,” he replied. Ok now would be the perfect time to ask. Nothing is gonna happen Alex. Except he might not want to go. Well it’s do or die. And with that comforting thought I said:

“Um, are you doing anything for Christmas break? Because my Mom wants to go on a four day road trip for family bonding and said I could ask you if you wanted to come and it’s ok if you don’t, so don’t feel obligated to go because of me or anything and-“

He silenced me by putting his finger on my lips.

“Alex, baby, breathe. I’d love to go. I will just have to ask my Dad.” He looked a little fearful at that sentence.

“How about we go after school? We could ask together and…” I trailed off because Jack looked really scared. “Jack, baby, it’ll be ok. You won’t have to talk to him alone. I’ll be there for you,” I said whilst rubbing his arm slowly.

“It’s not just that. I don’t want you to meet my Dad.”

Well, ouch. I stepped away, feeling hurt. Why didn’t he want us to meet? Am I embarrassing to him? I mean I know Jack could do better than me but I didn’t think he cared that much about it. It wasn’t until Jack started talking that I realised I had said all of this aloud.

“Alex, Lexy, no. That’s not what I meant. I don’t want YOU to meet HIM. Not the other way around.”

Oh. OH. Shit, I am such a fuck up sometimes.

“Jack, I’m not leaving you to face him alone. You don’t have to be alone. Not anymore,” I said, making sure he knew I wasn’t lying. Because that’s all that seemed to be involved in Jack’s life. Lying. From his siblings and parents. I made a promise to myself and him then. I would never lie to him. Ever.

AFTER SCHOOL

Towards the end of the day Jack just seemed to shut down more and more, getting quieter and quieter until he was only answering my questions with monosyllable words. The last bell rang and we went to our lockers and collected our stuff.

“Alex, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Jack said.

“I’m not leaving you alone,” I said determinedly, looking him in the eye so he could see I was telling the truth.

With a half resigned half relieved sigh he took my hand and started walking. I’d never even gotten his address so I had no idea where he lived, only that it had to be pretty close since he walked every day. It turns out I was right as it was only a ten minute walk away. When we got to the front door he froze and I gently pushed his back so he would open the door.

When he did he went straight up the hallway and we went to the last room. When he opened the door I gasped in surprise. He had even more posters than I did! I couldn’t even see three of his walls and the fourth one was half full. I couldn’t see his guitar anywhere but I’m assuming he’s hidden it from his dad.

“Your room is fucking cool!” I exclaimed. He gave me a small smile and quietly told me to dump my stuff by the door. Then he grabbed my hand again and led me back to one of the other rooms.

We went into what seemed like a lounge room. I couldn’t tell because of all the alcohol bottles and food containers everyone. It was a mess. And the smell. I could tell Jack was embarrassed so I tried not to make any faces. I was betting that Jack’s room was the tidiest in the house. What made this room worse was the man sitting on the couch in front of the TV, beer bottle in his hand. He was yelling at the football on the screen and didn’t seem to notice anyone had come into the room.

“Dad?” Jack said quietly. Jack’s dad didn’t seem to hear him though because he just continued yelling at the TV.

“Dad,” Jack said, a bit louder. He still went unheard.

“DAD!” He shouted. His dad continued to yell at the players on the screen, ignoring his son. I know he had to have heard him that time. God, what a fucking asshole. I decided I should probably step up and deal with this.

“Mr Barakat!” I said, loud enough to know he could hear me. That seemed to get a reaction. He lifted the remote and turned off the TV. Then he turned around and the front was 10 times worse than the back. He smirked when he saw us holding hands and I knew that whatever he had to say would be asshatish.

“So, you finally made a ‘friend’ did ya, faggot?” He asked, sneering. Oh my poor Jack. If he gets treated like this every day. I decided to ask Mom right then if maybe we could fix that…

“Dad, this is my boyfriend, Alex. Alex, this is my… father,” Jack whispered the last sentence. Oh what has this fucking monster done to my baby?

“Boyfriend, eh?” His dad leered. “I’m surprised anyone would want you, you faggot. Especially this kid. He seems like he could do a lot better than you. He’s ok looking, he’s probably way smarter than you. I mean, do you think he actually likes you? He’s probably just sticking around for a joke. Or a charity case. Why else would anyone want you? For sex maybe? IS that what he’s using you for? Your body? Not that I can see why ‘cuz you’re an ugly faggot.”

Jack whimpered. I could barely hear it. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw him looking at the ground, nodding like he was agreeing with what his dad was saying. I was ready to fucking kick the shit out of this guy. I squeezed Jack’s hand before letting it go to walk closer. Jack whimpered again, and I glanced to make sure he was ok before stepping away and towards his ‘dad’.

“Look, you mother fucker,” I started angrily. His dad just looked amused. It was times like these I wish I was a little taller, nobody took me seriously. “We just came here to ask if Jack could come with me on a family trip, the answer is yes by the way. So sit the fuck down on your fucking couch and wallow in self-pity all you like. But remember there is a fucking reason it’s called self-pity. It’s so you can be by yourself. So don’t drag your amazing son, who I really fucking like, into your hole with you, just because you know you don’t deserve him as a son. So sit the fuck down, and shut. The. FUCK. Up. We are getting a bag of his things and you are going to stay here.”

His dad seemed startled at that and actually did as I said, turning the TV on.

Jack and I walked back to his room to collect our things.

“Uh, Alex. Why am I getting my things? The trip isn’t for a month…” Jack asked.

“Because you’re moving in with me, silly,” I said. “I’m not letting you stay with that dick any longer.”

“I, thank you,” he said, coming forward to hug me but then he seemed to think about it and stopped. “Uh Alex? One more question?”

“What’s up, baby?”

“Um, why do you want me to stay with you? I mean you heard what he said. It’s all true. Why do you want me around? I mean it can’t be the sex thing because I’m really ugly but is the charity case thing?” He seemed genuinely confused, and he started tearing up. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. My poor baby. God the shit he’s gone through. I was very tempted to go beat the shit out of the man who calls himself Jack’s father. And everyone else who had ever hurt him in his life. He really didn’t deserve to have been put through this. Then again, who does?

“Because you’re my boyfriend,” I said factually, moving closer. “Because I really, really, really like you. I’m not playing a trick on you and I guess I can kind of understand if you still don’t trust me but I want to be in this relationship with you because you’re you. You’re intelligent, kind, really fucking hot and have the biggest heart. You don’t deserve this baby. I’m going to tell you these things everyday if you makes you believe them. You deserve happiness,” I was right in front of him now, close enough to touch, but I was refraining from doing so because I didn’t know if he’d be comfortable with that.

Jack started actually crying now. He hugged me whispering thank you in my ears many times. It only took him a minute to stop crying.

“I am happy with you Alex,” He said.

“Well that’s awesome. So pack a bag and we can go home,” I said.

“Home,” He repeated, like it was a foreign word, and for him, I guess it was.

I was going to fix that.