The Mixtape of Hatred

Alex sat alone in a dressing room separate from the rest of his band. He needed space. He needed to breathe. He needed to think.

Why had he poured his heart out to the exact man who had broken it in the first place?

Then again, who else did he have?

Tanner – gone.

Rian – betrayed his trust.

His two go-to best friends were unavailable for pep talks, which leaves just Jack Barakat.

And now, he was finishing off his tour, and Jack was already a town away.

After tour, where would he go? He surely wasn’t welcome in his own apartment. He tried calling Tanner twenty-seven times and he never got a call back. He was giving Rian the silent treatment. He didn’t want to intrude and hang out as the third wheel with Zack and Matt, either.

And the last choice? No way.

He heard a knock at the door, but made no move to open it.

The door opened, with Rian’s hand attached to the handle. He peeked in, saw Alex, and lowered his eyes.

“Hey, Alex.” Rian said quietly, slowly entering the room and shutting the door behind him. He sat across on the couch across from Alex.

They sat there in silence for a few moments. Alex waited for Rian to repeat, “Alex, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen”, but the words didn’t come.

“Alex, get your shit together.” Rian whispered harshly, his eyebrows creeping together as he glared at Alex.

Alex blinked, taken back. He still didn’t respond.

Rian sighed, and threw his hands up in frustration. “C’mon, Alex. Quit acting like a child and speak to me. You know it wasn’t right to do that to Tanner. You know, but now you’re just taking it out on me. Was this really my fault, Alex? Was it?”

Alex said nothing, not because he was determined to continue the silent treatment going, but because he had nothing to say. Rian was right, and Alex could do nothing but bow his head in shame.

“You can’t just sit around moping and being sad and confused.” Rian said, softer this time. “You need to do something about this. Get Tanner back and drop Jack. Well, unless you’d rather go for Jack…”

Alex covered his face with his hands. “Rian, help. I don’t know what to do. Please, help me.”

Rian smiled and leaned forward to place his hand on Alex’s knee. “Hey, it’ll be fine. We’ll talk things through and then we’ll see that we have to do, alright?”

Alex nodded.

“So, what’re your thoughts on the two?” Rian said formally.

Alex had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. He took a deep breath instead and tried to organize some of the thoughts swarming around in his brain.

“Uh, I love Tanner, but I also still kinda love Jack.” Alex explained lamely.

“I see.” Rian didn’t look satisfied with the answer. “Which weirdo do you like better?”

Alex glared. “I dunno. I don’t even know if either of them like me.”

Rian laughed sharply. “Of course they do, you dumbo. They’re just jealous of each other and they want you to choose one of them. All girls do that.”

“They’re not girls, though.” Alex pointed out.

“That’s irrelevant. They act like girls. So the thing is, if you choose Tanner, then everything goes back to normal. If you’re willing to go for Jack, then things might get kinda complicated.”

Alex puffed up his cheeks and exhaled slowly. This wasn’t helping.

He almost grinned in relief when his phone rang, breaking the awkwardness of the pep talk.

Without looking at the screen, he hit the green button and placed the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” He said cheerfully.

“Alex,” Jack’s voice came through the phone. “I’m sorry.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “Jacky? Wait, what? For what?” His hand twitched anxiously.

“I should’ve have ever gone to see you in the first place. I heard about Tanner, and I’m so sorry I screwed everything up. This was all my fault, and I know I wasn’t even supposed to go see you in the first place. Everyone tried to stop me, and I didn’t listen, and I’m so sorry. I hope that everything goes well with Tanner. Goodbye, Alex.”

“Jack, wait –“ Alex began, before hearing the beep that ended the call. “Jack, no.”