The Conductor

I’m terrified.
I’m so terrified.

I didn’t want him to return.
No matter how much I missed him, he was safe when he was away from the town – away from me!

It has been four days since his return.
It’s only a matter of time until—

“Michael…Why am I not allowed to go outside again?”

The voice of the subject of my worries.

I bit down on my lip, not wanting to answer him.

“You’re hiding me again…”
He spoke the phrase as if he knew that was the answer.

That is exactly the answer.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, tugging at it as I lay back on the bed, shutting my eyes closed.
The mattress dipped down, causing me to open my eyes.

Tyler curled up at my side, draping an arm over my stomach and resting his head on my chest.

“Are you afraid that I will run away again…?”

I bit down on my lip, uttering a small ‘yes’ afterwards.

I had to lie.
Until I figure out other ways to protect him, I have to lie.

He lifted his head to look at me before he propped himself up with his elbows.

A hand on my cheek before his lips met mine.

I placed one hand on top of his and rested the other on the small of his back, reveling in the missed gesture before moving us so that I hovered over him.

Battling tongues. Roaming hands.
Chest to chest, no articles of clothing to block the contact of skin.

I stopped and looked at him: eyes closed, lips parted, the shaky exhales and the rise and fall of his chest.

The pale stitch marks encircling his neck, his right arm, around both of his thighs, running down the length of his chest and stomach.

I frowned at the sight of them before making an effort to place a kiss on every mark.
A kiss to the inside of his thigh: a hitch in breathing followed a small moan.

I stopped again, sitting up.

“…Why are you letting me do this…? After what you had found out…”

His eyes opened, staring straight into my own.

“I was confused…frustrated…angry. Yet, I still loved you. I thought about what you did, yet I thought more about everything that you had done for me. Those thoughts constantly reminded me why I loved you, why I still love you, why it ached to be away from you, even for a short amount of time. Besides…”

He reached out his hand and placed it on my cheek, gently brushing his thumb against it.

“…you only did it because you lost Elizabeth and your child. You did it because you were sick and tired of being alone and carrying the burden, didn’t you?”

He brushed away a tear that was falling and gave me a small smile.

“If the only reason for bringing me back to life was so that I could ease your pain, even just a little, then I am glad to exist like this.”

The tears fell non-stop.

He didn’t deserve the brutal murder that I dealt him.
He didn’t deserve the existence that I forced upon him.

He doesn’t deserve to be hunted down and murdered simply because of his existence.

He wrapped his arms behind my neck, pulling me close.

I couldn’t do anything else but sob into his shoulder, mumbling apologies over and over again as he ran his fingers through my hair.

All of this. It is so unfair for him.

“You…You can’t just accept existing like this…! Forced to live with the same man who murdered you… Forced to walk the Earth as a man of stolen limbs…! Labeled as an enemy of the town, as a ‘monster’…!”

A moment of silence.

“I’m not. I am accepting the existence that I have: living with the man that I love, was created and existing to ease his pain for as long as he needs me. When he does not need me anymore, then I will still remain by his side in happiness, or I will die in happiness. However, I will refuse to exist without him.”

I gripped the sheets with one hand, grabbing a hold of Tyler’s hand with the other.

I have to protect him.
I have to find a way to keep him safe.

I refuse to murder him.
I refuse to let him perish.

Even if I have to—

…

My tears finally ceased as I rested my head against his chest, clearly hearing the loud ba-dump! ba-dump! of his heartbeat.

“I love you, Tyler.”
“I love you too, Michael.”

I know what I must to.
However, I know that Tyler will not be happy with my decision.

It will be for the best…

It will be for the best.