Miserably Loving You.

I have come to the conclusion that I, without a doubt, have the bestboyfriend in the entire world. I don't know how I managed to get so lucky. After years of being infatuated with him, I can finally call him mine and things couldn't be more perfect.

This date was absolutely perfect anyway.

I can't believe he brought me to the aquarium! It was absolutely one of my favorite places, well besides Leighton's arms anyway. Gah, that was so lame but it's true so whatever. Anyway, I really enjoyed the turtles. I enjoyed everything, but the turtles were so cute! They're obviously my absolute favorite.

When I mentioned going on another date I didn't mean for Leighton to go all out. We could have had a simple "stay-at-home" date or something. But today has been really amazing and I just wanted to show Leighton that I really appreciated him. I wanted to do something to special for him.

But what?

Once we were in the car and on our way back to Leighton's place I tried wracking my brain for something. Something, anything to show him how much I love and appreciate him. No materialistic item will suffice.

A hand on my knee pulls me out of my thoughts. I look down at Leighton's hand resting on my knee and lay a hand on top of his before looking up at him.

"Why are you so quiet?" He asks.

"Just thinking," I reply as I intertwine our fingers.

"About?"

"You mostly."

"Oh?"

"Mhmm. Just thinking about how you're a really amazing boyfriend and how amazing today has been."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"I enjoy everyday with you though." Leighton chuckles and I blush. "Don't laugh."

Leighton glances at me. "You're really cute, you know?"

I don't say anything as my cheeks continue to heat up.

"Love you," he says squeezing my knee.

A smile creeps onto my lips as I turn to look out of the window. "Love you too."

When we make it home I go back to my place first to grab some personal necessities before going over to join Leighton.

I still have my giant stuffed turtle wrapped in my arms. I have yet to come up with a name for him. I'll probably just call him Mr. Turtle. Later he'll join little Leighton on my bed. I smile and hug Mr. Turtle tighter as I enter the McQuin household and search for Leighton.

He's in the living room so I walk around the couch and take a seat in his lap. He immediately wraps his arms around me and I snuggle into him.

"Can we just watch movies , and eat junk food, and cuddle?" I ask.

"Sure, if that's what you want to do."

I nod. "I'm gonna go change first," I say reluctantly moving from my comfortable position.

"And I'll go gather the snacks," Leighton says before placing a kiss to my lips.

I smile as he pulls away and get up to head to the restroom leaving Mr. Turtle on the couch.

When I'm in the restroom I close the door behind me and take a deep breathe. During the ride I finally decided what to give Leighton: Me.

I think I'm ready.

We've been through so much shit and I really just want him to know how much he means to me, how much I love him. And what better way than to give myself wholly to him?

I stare into the mirror. My face was flushed just thinking about what I was about to partake in. The problem though was that this is my first relationship and I didn't know what to do. I don't really know much about this stuff. I couldn't even tell Leighton how I felt, so how am I supposed to make a move?

I don't know how to be seductive! Oh god, what am I doing?

A knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts but I can't find my voice to reply.

"Gage, are you okay in there?" Leighton's voice calls from the other side.

I don't even know how long I've been in here. Must have been too long if he's up here checking on me.

"Y-yeah sorry. I'll be out in a minute," I reply back.

"Okay, I was just checking on you. You've been in there for a while. I'll be waiting downstairs."

I nod even though he can't see me and take a deep breath before letting it out.

Alright. I'm going to do this. I don't know how but I'm going to.

I take off everything but my underwear and put on an oversized t-shirt. I stare at my reflection and let out a sigh. Probably nothing sexy about this, but it's less clothes to take off.

Letting out another huff of air I slowly make my way downstairs.

I'm a bundle of nerves as I descend the stairs with shaky legs. And I have to keep telling myself not to back down. If I can't do this now I may never be ready. And then Leighton might dump me for some one more confident and experienced with this kinda stuff. So I can't back down now. I can't lose Leighton.

I'm already at the final step anyway. I take in a shaky breath before making my way into the living room.

"There you are! I thought you were going to camp out in the bathroom all night." Leighton exclaims as I come into view.

I give him a sheepish smile before taking a seat next to him and snuggling into his side.

"Are you okay?" He asks as he wraps an arm around me.

"Yeah I'm fine, you can start the movie now."

I feel him move and I hear voices coming from the television, but I don't pay any attention to it.

Instead I'm trying to get my heart to stop beating so fast and decide when and how to make a move.

I keep glancing up at Leighton who still has his arm around me and is moving it up and down my arm.

I bite my lip as I stare at the screen not really paying attention to what is playing on it. Taking another shaky breath I look back up at Leighton.

"Leighton?" I say quietly and for a second I doubt he hears.

"Hmmm," he hums as he looks down at me.

I stare up into his eyes for a moment merely getting lost in them before crashing my lips to his.

You know the saying "actions speak louder than words"? Well, I really hope he could sense what I was feeling through my actions right now.

I parted my lips for his tongue to explore my mouth and I just couldn't help the sounds that were coming from me.

I climb onto his lap and tangle my hands into his hair.

Now what?

It's getting really hot in here and this kiss is so intense but I don't know how to go to the next level. Maybe I should just go for it or... what if he doesn't even want to?

My mind is starting to close up with doubt so I pull away. We're both breathing pretty heavy and I honestly was already getting pretty aroused but...

"Leighton," I breath out.

He's already looking at me as I open my eyes. "Gage," he says back.

"I-I-I'm I'm sorry," I rush out before climbing off his lap and running up the stairs.

I hear him calling my name as I ascend the stairs but I ignore it. I don't know why, but I go into his room and shut the door behind me before sliding down it and burying my face in my knees.

Today was so perfect, why'd I have to go and ruin everything.