Miserably Loving You.

I don't understand.

We were kissing and he freaked out and ran away... The night was going so well too this time. Did I hurt his feelings? Did I do something wrong? It didn't make any sense.

"Gage!" I called out, multiple times to try to reel him back, but once I heard the door shut I knew I had to get up. So I hurried up the stairs and sat on the floor beside the door. "Baby, what's going on...?"

"I don't... I don't want to talk about it." He said, a hiccup or two between words.

"Okay... Well, at least let me in?" There was a pause but I could hear his hair move against the door. I figured that was him shaking his head. So I compromised and leaned against the door with him, sticking my index finger under the frame and keeping it there until he noticed.

"Leighton..." He whined softly, probably out of guilt but I wasn't going to let him be alone.

"Since I can't hold your hand, I'm doing the next best thing." I say simply, and within a few seconds I felt the tip of his finger touching mine. "There we go."

Things were quiet for what seemed like forever but eventually his finger left mind and the door opened.

"Can we not talk about what just happened...?" He asked, his voice soft and his eyes tear stained so I nod and get up.

"I think we probably should, but it can wait." I said before wrapping my arms around him.

"Thank you." He said back just as softly as before before looking up at me. "I uh... I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." I shrugged before picking him up and carrying him off to my bed. "Let's just relax, okay?"

I could hear him sigh but I just ignored it. Not to be rude, but I knew better than to ask right away. He needed to process and he needed to think through this, so I just laid down with him. I kept him close to my chest and ran my fingers through his hair, just trying my best to relax him, and it worked for a bit but he eventually sat up and started chewing at his lip.

"Gage...?" I asked but he quickly shook his head.

"You are so amazing Leighton, so very amazing..." He started before looking back at me. "I... I want tonight to be the night. I want that more than anything, I just... I don't want for this to be bad or for me to suck at this. I want to be yours, I want us to be closer, I want you." He said, moving to straddle my waist.

"Gage... I don't want-" he covered my lips with his and the kisses picked back up from where we left them earlier. There was no buildup, just desperation and want for each other.

I let my hands roam up his shirt, the corners of my lips tugging upwards at the reaction I got from that, the light shake, the soft almost moaning whimper... It was intoxicating.

"Baby..." I say once I could pull away long enough. "We can't just dive in, I don't want to hurt you." He pulled away then and the confused innocent look on his face killed me. "You're really sure about this?"

He nodding quickly then and I smiled, gently pushing him back onto the bed beside me before sitting up.

"Just lay back and relax then, okay?" I asked, taking off my shirt and jeans to give him a little something more to look at.

"Okay..." His tone was sheepish but he pulled his shirt off before laying down again.

I smiled and looked him over quickly before getting a condom out of my drawer and some water based lube that was almost empty, so that would be a trip for Gage and I later.

"Use a lot of that?" He asks with a light laugh and I rolled my eyes in return.

"Only when I think of you." I added on before setting that all on the bed beside him, climbing in myself but staying closer to his knees.

I gently tugged down his boxers, giving him an occasional "is this okay?" look until they were completely off and away from him. He shifted a bit and his cheeks flushed a deep pink shade, but I kissed his thighs and rubbed them gently, letting him know that it was okay and that his body was beautiful until he was comfortable with me again.

The moment he relaxed I sat up just enough to get the lube, coating my fingers in the slick liquid before going back down, my lips moving over his hips as I press my fingers against his entrance. The sharp breath he took made me feel bad, so I looked up.

"It's okay baby." I half cooed as my free hand took his member in my hand, distracting him with a few slow intentional strokes to make him relax so I could slowly work my fingers inside of him.

I had my fair share of bad experiences with this so I wasn't about to scar him. His first time wasn't going to be a bad or painful memory. I'd take all night loosening him up if that's what it took, but after a few minutes he was okay with one finger, so I added another. He was getting impatient now though, which honestly was a good thing. He wasn't shying away from this any more, so I'm guessing the pressure of my fingers mixed with the pleasure surrounding his groin was showing him how I planned on taking care of him tonight.

"Leighton, please..." He sighed, catching his breath again after my finger just barely touched that sweet spot inside of him.

"Are you sure?" I asked, looking up at him to see him nodding pretty profusely. So for his sake and mine too I shimmied out of the rest of my clothes, grabbing the condom and the lube and prepping myself for this.

"I uh... I-" Gage started so I looked over at him then, his cheeks flushing red when our eyes met.

"You?"

"I uhm... I like watching you do that." He mumbled and I looked down before grinning. I was just simply coating myself in the lube, maybe stroking myself a bit too much but God was that a cute kinky little confession.

"Dirty boy." I say, clearly teasing him as I moved to position myself. I hovered over him and smiled, his lips already puckering before I could even ask if he was sure again, so I took that and ran with it, deepening the kiss as I pressed my dick against him, getting that same sharp inhale from him.

I just did what I did before again, stroke him in long slow strokes, having him mewl over that before pressing myself in. Slowly again, just like before, adding more lube too to help.

He whimpered and squirmed just a bit, but I kept him calm through the discomfort until those whimpers and squirms turned into him wanting me to do more.

I obliged of course, moving in and out, faster or slower until we were both barely breathing. The amount of recycled air we had flowing between us both probably wasn't the safest but God did the lightheaded feeling make things that much better.

I couldn't even begin to describe the hairs that stuck up on the back of my neck when Gage got a bit vocal with my name or the way way my body jerked when a slew of curses fell from those incredibly innocent lips.

It was primal, it was intoxicating, and it was love.