Since She's Been Gone

I sat in the tour bus looking out the window, we were in my hometown and I have some things I need to get off my chest. I had a bouquet of black roses, Sammie's favorite, and the locket that she gave me before she died, sitting in front of me. I picked up the locket and slipped it around my neck. I then picked up the flowers and slowly got up. I said goodbye to the boys and headed off the tour bus.

The graveyard that Sammie was buried wasn't very far from where the tour bus was parked, so I decided to walk. On the way there all the memories of what we did before she died came flooding back over the bridge that I had to block them out.

As I walked into the graveyard and made my way to her grave I started crying. I never got to tell her the true way I felt about her, I wanted her to be more than just my "sister". I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Maybe, just maybe if I talk to her about this, I can get the hurt off of my chest. Yes, i know it seems funny that I think I can talk to her, but I knew her so well, it's like part of her lived inside me now, like I can hear what she says when I talk to her grave. Call me a psycho, call me crazy, but it's true.

I arrived at her grave, tears still running down my face.

"Hey..." I practically whispered "I got these for you"

"Hey" she had said in my mind. "Thanks"

"Welcome" I said as I sat them in front of her grave and sat down.

"So why'd you come" she asked

"I wanted to tell you something" I whispered

"Yes?" she asked curiously, I chuckled at how curious she seemed.

"Well. I wanted to tell you before you died, but I never got the guts to. So I wanted to tell you now" I took a deep breath before saying "I always loved you more than a sister, I wanted you to be my girlfriend, you were always there for me and I loved you. I always had a crush on you growing up and the longer we grew up together, the more I fell for you."

I felt a little bit of the pain go away, but she didn't answer.

"Sammie?" I said. No answer again. I sighed as I got up and left. Sometimes she randomly leaves on me and doesn't tell me that she is. I guess today was one of those days.