Black & Blue

I could feel it. I could feel Oli banging the slut against the wall. Sure, I couldn't hear it, but feeling it didn't make it feel better. I supposed I should be used to it, but I don't think I could ever get used to the aching and longing in my heart to be the one under him.

The banging stopped soon after. I didn't care though. I turned off my music, and went into the bathroom. Today was too much, and I needed to do something about it. I heard Oli leading the girl out of the house, thankfully.

~Trigger Warning right here~
I opened the drawer, reaching on the bottom part and taking the blade that was taped to it so Oli wouldn't find it. I got rubbing alcohol, then sat on the edge of the tub. I pulled my jeans and boxers down to my knees, sighing.
I just wanted the momentary relief, the moment when I felt okay, before the sense of guilt and regret kicked in.

I toyed with the blade for a bit. My life was a mess full of hopes and dreams, just like my hope of Oli bursting through the door and telling me to put the blade down. It didn't happen, though. I didn't expect it to.

I slowly dragged the corner of the blade across my right thigh, making a tiny cut that just got dotted with blood. It didn't satisfy me at all.

Cut after cut went deeper and deeper, making more blood drip off my thigh and into the tub. White fat soon joined the blood, and that's when I decided to stop. I dumped some alcohol on it, my jaw dropping in a silent scream as bolts of pain shot up my thigh. I cleaned the blood up, then slipped my boxers and jeans back up.

I went back to my room. I was tired, and in a bit of pain. I laid in bed, pulling the covers over me. I was getting some sleep.

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"Wake up," Oli said, dragging out the word "up" as he slapped at my cheeks. I shoved his hands away, glaring through sleepy eyes.

"What the fuck do you want?" I snapped. I was tired and grouchy.

"We're going to a party!" He said happily.

"No," I immediately answered. He took my hands and pulled me into a sitting position. I held his hands, hiding my pout when he pulled his away.

"Pleeeaaase, Tommy," He begged. I sighed, and nodded slowly.

"Yay!" He cheered.

"Get out," I snapped. He got up and left happily, closing the door behind him. I got up and pulled on jeans, a shirt, and a hoodie. I brushed my hair, putting no effort into making it look nice by straightening it. I went downstairs, meeting Oli by the door.

"Come on, twat," I sighed. He just laughed. We got into his pedo-van, and he started driving.

When we got to a big house, the party was in full swing. Oli and I got out. He dragged me inside, then leaned down to talk into my ear, "Now go get drunk and find yourself a cute guy, Tommy!" He then walked away, leaving me to my own. I knew I wouldn't find another guy - I wanted him.

"Tom!" Matt shouted happily over the music.

"Hey!" I greeted. He grabbed my elbow and dragged me over to Vegan, Curtis, and Jona. They were all slurring and swaying drunkenly. I greeted all of them.

"Where's Oli?" Curtis slurred out. I just shrugged. I had no idea. Matt started poking me over and over, not saying a single word.

"Yes?" I asked simply, looking over at him.

"Are you going to drink with us?" He slurred out.

"Probably not. I need to make sure Oli gets home okay," I answered. He just shrugged and talked loudly with the others. Their drunken conversation went everywhere, sometimes not making any sense but it made them laugh their asses off.

After a bit, I felt an arm around my shoulders. I looked over and saw Oli smiling at me.

"Come with me, Tommy," He said, his words slurring together. He was drunk.

I nodded, not questioning him. He probably wanted to go or something.

He led me upstairs, easily weaving in between people. He opened a bedroom and looked in, then pulled me in with him.

"What do you want, Oli?" I asked, flipping on the light as he closed the door.

"You." He said simply.

"Wha-" He pressed me against the door and kissed me hard, silencing me. I was in shock, to say the least, but kissed back. I pulled away after a moment.

"Oliver-"

"Don't say you don't want this." He cut me off again, licking my neck. An involuntary shudder ran through my body.

"You don't think I notice when you stare at me when I don't have a shirt on? Or how you always get moody when I fuck sluts? Or the tightening in your jeans when you see me in boxers or even better- naked? Oh, I know, how about when you told me you're gay and you like someone who's name starts with an O?" He growled in my ear. He then grabbed my wrists hard and pinned them against the wall.

"I-I.. Um.." I stuttered out. This had to be fake, I was still in my dream, but everything felt so fucking real.

He bit a spot on my neck and I shuddered, moaning soft. He smirked against my neck, biting harder and flicking his tongue over the spot. I moaned his name under my breath and I felt him getting turned on against my thigh. I would be lying if I said I wasn't already turned on.

He dragged me to the bed and pushed me onto it. I watched as he pulled off all his clothes, and I stared at his whole body, looking at him from head to toe. He went to me, and tugged off my shirt, then my jeans. Next was my boxers, and he sighed a little.

"Oh, Tommy, what did I tell you about this?" He asked, softly grazing his fingers over the cuts. I flinched a little, and he pulled his fingers away.

"I'll deal with them later." He growled, then shoved three fingers in my mouth.

"Suck." He said. I started sucking on his fingers, swirling my tongue around them to make sure they were wet enough.

Either out of impatience, or satisfaction, he pulled his fingers out. He circled my entrance with one and softly pushed his finger in. I shifted a little at the discomfort, but it wasn't too bad. I leaned up and sucked on the rose on his neck, and he groaned soft. He slipped another finger in and I tensed, feeling the pain start to kick in. I whimpered soft, and he kissed me.

"Shh." He whispered against my lips.

He softly pushed me back down and worked his fingers inside of me. The pain quickly turned to pleasure, and I let out a soft moan. He slowly pushed in another and I whined in pain. His fingers brushed against a spot and stars entered my vision. All the pain quickly turned to pleasure as I shouted a little, bucking my hips up. He smirked, and worked his fingers against that spot.

"F-Fuck me Oliver!" I said loudly to him. He smirked wide, and pulled his fingers out. He spit in his hand and rubbed himself all over, groaning soft. Once he was satisfied, he slowly pushed in to me. I gasped and bit my lip, trying not to yell in pain. I felt his hips against mine, and his tongue slowly licking the tears falling down my face.

"It's alright Tommy, relax." He cooed softly.

He slowly pulled all the way back out, and pushed back in. That didn't make it any fucking better, fuck you Oliver, rot in hell you dirty whore- "Ah!" I cried out, arching my back as Oli hit a spot inside me. He smirked and pulled out, slamming all the way back in, right on that spot. I moaned loud in pleasure, which just inspired him to go harder and faster.

I was practically screaming after a few moments. He had a huge smirk on his face, and groans could be heard under my loud moans coming from his lips. He slid a hand between our bodies and started to flick his wrist while gripping me, in time with his thrusts.

With a loud moan of his name, and an arch of my back, I came on both of our stomachs. He groaned in my ear. "That was so sexy." He slurred in my ear. After a few more thrusts, he came in me and I moaned, feeling him fill me up.

He thrusted a few more times, then pulled out. He laid next to me, and I cuddled into his chest. "That was amazing." I panted.

"Mhm." He hummed, smiling at me. I nuzzled in his neck and closed my eyes. This was perfect.