The Process of Losing and Gaining

I definitely wasn’t tired anymore after that discovery. I must have really looked like an idiot wearing that shirt and not knowing who they were. I spent a lot of the night researching the band, and I downloaded their discography. I hit play and skimmed their Wikipedia page while waiting for the songs to transfer onto my iPod. To be honest, I fell in love with the music. Vic’s voice is so raw and emotional, it helps that I really relate to a lot of the lyrics he’s written. I feel like Vic and I could have a lot of deep conversations, just based on his music. I found myself scrolling through google images and had to keep stopping myself from getting caught on pictures of Tony. Before I could get to deep into my research I turned off my computer, I don’t want the internet to tell me everything about my potential friends before I get the chance to learn from the actual people.
Before getting into bed for the night I plugged my iPod into its dock, hitting shuffle on the album “Selfish Machines.” The name itself really resonates with me, but the songs also hit a sore spot in my heart. Southern Constellations really got to me as soon as Vic began singing. I played it three times before finally falling asleep. I was out like a light; when I dreamt, it was of puppy dog brown eyes and hands on my hips.

I woke up promptly at 9:28, which gave me enough time to…do absolutely nothing that I needed to do before I left for my first day at Adrenalina. To make matters worse I remembered that I’d left my longboard in Mike’s car which ruined any possibility of my getting there on time. I threw on a thrasher t-shirt that I’d cropped and some old, ripped jeans before heading out the door. I simultaneously locked the door behind and pulled out my phone to call the shop to let them know I’d be late when I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. My longboard! Stuck in one of the wheels was a rolled up piece of paper. In chicken scratch it read:
“Dropped this off around 9. Hope you don’t mind I rode it here. Have a good day at work. See you! T.”
Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be such a terrible day. Now I had just enough time to make it to the shop on time.
I hadn’t noticed last night, since it was dark and I was more focused on Tony and I, but Vic’s house is on the way down to Adrenalina. I only noticed now because as one song got quiet and the next hadn’t begun I heard loud music coming from down the street that I was skating down. I looked up and saw Jaime sitting on Vic’s porch staring at his phone. He’d spiked up his hair and it made him look really young.

“Hey!” I called out, pulling an earbud from my ear.
“Kali!” His head popped up. He smiled so large it was a wonder his face didn’t split.
I called out, “I’m listening to you!” and held up the earbud. I received thumbs up as I flew past the house, barely missing a car parked on the street. He’s so goofy, and that’s how I know we’re going to get along so well. I love having happy people in my life. The rest of my ride was uneventful and I got to the shop with about a minute to spare.

After filling out all of the necessary paper work and getting to know my coworkers a little better we got down to business. By the time 5pm rolled around I felt like I’d been working at the shop for years and I’d known everyone for just as long. They’re all super chill and welcoming; they even invited me to a party taking place later on that night. I told them I might stop by; I’m not one for parties, even though they retracted the term party and declared it a “get together on the beach.” After work I made my way home, took a much needed nap, and then headed to my normal spot by the cove.

I watched Ryan, Mark, and who I assumed was the rest of the crew as they danced around on the beach. They threw each other into the water and it honestly looked like a good time. I briefly considered heading over but I was feeling pretty anti-social. I needed to recharge. Which of course ended up being the exact opposite of what happened…I could feel his energy before I heard or saw him. I’d spent the entire day thinking of how to bring up the band thing, and I still wasn’t exactly ready for the confrontation. It probably wasn’t that serious though.

“Boo!” I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Hi, Mike.”
“Oh…um. Hey. You okay?” He sat on the boulder next to me and rested his chin on his hand.
“Yep, I’m fine.” I pointed over to the group down the beach, “those are my coworkers.”
“Oh really? Tony’s down there.” I noticeably perked up.
“Yeah, he’s cool with Mark. Well, we all are.” He stated matter-of-factly.
“Oh, I don’t see him.”
Mike helped me find him, but I was still distracted. I looked over at him and blurted out, “Why didn’t tell me you guys are in PtV?”
He was surprised, “So you caught on.”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
He shrugged.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s nice to have people not know who we are sometimes. We love our fans, but we like to enjoy the simple life sometimes too.”
I let his words sit for a minute, watching Tony hug a girl that’d just shown up. Jealously hit me like a ton of bricks and I tried to shake myself out of it, “I wondered why so many people stared at us while we were out but…I just thought maybe people in San Diego are weird.” He laughed and watched me as I watched Tony. He tugged my ponytail, “he thinks you’re cute, you know.”
“Huh?” I turned back to him, “who?”
“Tony.” I shook my head.
“Doubtful.”
“I’m serious,” he sighed, “he told me.”

We spent a few minutes smoking a blunt that Mike brought with him, and then he texted Tony to let him know where we were. I watched as Tony made his way over to the rocks, Mike laughed as he slipped off of one into the water.
“Shut up, dick!”
Mike stood and announced his departure, climbing up and away from us as I called after him.
“What in the world was that?” Tony shook his hair out of his face as he stood in front of me. I shrugged.
“A ploy, I think.” He laughed.
“Want to walk?” I nodded and let him help me up, but I dropped his hand, acting like I needed to re-tie my hair. We began walking and Tony threw out the question I’d been hoping that I’d just be able to avoid forever.
“So why did you really leave Michigan?”