Nothing Personal

The new boyfriends were walking across the docks, hands clutches together. It was dark and the only thing lighting their way was the street lamps. The reflections on the water made the ripples almost sparkle and it was just so romantic Jack could hardly take it. He wasn’t good with romance, or anything close to it. He found movies with romances in them boring and cliché and he never wanted to be in one of those relationships that makes them a cliché. No kissing in the rain, no romantic dinner dates. He had hoped Alex would feel the same but by the way he was grinning and leaning into Jack’s side told him his hopes were wrong.

"This is so pretty." Alex commented, tucking his head into Jack’s shoulder.

"Yeah," Jack replied, uninterested.

"What’s wrong?" Alex pulled away to look at Jack properly, hands still clasped.

"Nothing, I’m fine." Jack tried smiling reassuringly at his boyfriend.

Alex hauled their walking and pushed them to stand at the edge of the docks. “You’re bored, aren’t you?”

Jack sighed in defeat, biting his lip as he looked at Alex. “I’m sorry. This romantic shit, I’m not good at it. I don’t enjoy it. It’s so boring and cliché and just… not my style.”

Alex nodded slowly, eyes cast downwards. “Okay.”

"I’m sorry Alex I just don’t like it."

"I understand Jack. Next time we can do something you like."

"No, no, no, I do like this, I love being here with you. But it’s late and I’m too awake and I kind of just want to go home."

"You sound like a jerk, Jack, and I know you’re not one."

"I’m the biggest jerk right now, though."

Alex almost smiled as he replied, “Yeah you are.” He looked up at Jack again, “But I really like you and I don’t care if you’re being a jerk. It didn’t make me want to leave you.”

"This is so cliché." Jack complained, taking both of Alex’s hands in his own. "I really am sorry. I’ll try for you, to like all that romantic stuff, but I’m making no promises. I just can’t do that."

Alex bit his lip in thought. “Okay.”

There was a moment of silence between the two men before Jack spoke, “Why don’t we do this again? Tomorrow night?”

"I thought you didn’t like this sort of thing."

"I said I would try. It’ll be like a do-over of tonight with no fighting."

Alex smiled, “You’re very sweet Jack. Sure, we can have a do-over.”

***

Their do-over date did go slightly smoother than the previous night. There was no fighting this time, well, not until later. Jack had once again ruined a romantic moment between them as they were sitting on one of the benches along the docks.

"Jack this clearly isn’t working." Alex sighed, pulling out of the position they were in, Alex tucked into Jack’s side, Jack’s arm around his shoulders.
"I’m sorry I’m trying.”

“It doesn’t feel like you are.” Alex sighed, defeated.

Jack bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll walk you home.” He didn’t want another one of the conversations about him not being what Alex wanted in a relationship.

At Alex’s door Jack gave him a kiss goodbye but didn’t say anything. Instead he left with Alex watching him as he walked down the path and through the gate. When Alex couldn’t see him anymore he unlocked his front door and let himself in, closing and locking it behind him. He smiled as his dogs greeted him. They showed how they felt, at least.

It was around a week later when Alex was spending his night in with a movie on and far too much popcorn than one man should be able to eat by himself because he was too awake to sleep. He was under his favourite white blanket and he had even made himself a mug of hot chocolate. Just as he was getting into the movie the doorbell rang. With a groan Alex stood up and mumbled complaints all the way to the door. He opened it to reveal the person he had been avoiding contact with: Jack.

“Hey.” Jack smiled hopefully, hands behind his back.

“What are you hiding?” The elder wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries.

“I bought you something.” He revealed his hands to show what he was holding. There was a gift bag in one hand and a six pack of beer in the other.

Alex couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. “Beer? Really? You're so predictable." Jack looked hurt at the comment which made Alex feel slightly guilty for making the comment. He opened the door wider and stepped back, "Come in dork.”

“I try and be romantic and I get called a dork because of it.” Jack laughed as he kicked off his shoes and pushed them to the side.

Alex rolled his eyes. “I mean it in a loving way though.”

They sat down on Alex’s couch and Jack placed the six pack on the coffee table, handing the bag to Alex. “Open it.”

Alex took the bag from Jack and placed it in his lap, carefully picking at the tape that was keeping it closed. “You didn’t have to get me anything, you know.” Alex looked up briefly to speak.

“Yeah I did,” Jack replied sadly, “I was a complete dick. I didn’t mean to be, but I was.”

“Well it’s very romantic of you.” Alex pulled the bag apart finally to reveal and a grey beanie surrounded by light blue paper. “To go with the gloves?” He pulled the soft beanie out of the bag and held it, feeling the material, as if inspecting it.

Jack blushed lightly. “Yeah. You always look cold when you’re walking to class and so I thought it would help. Not a romantic gift but yeah…”

“It is.” Confusion covered Jack’s face as Alex put the gift on the table and started opening the beer. “You obviously thought of me when buying it. In my opinion, that’s romantic.”

“I’m always thinking about you.” Alex laughed and Jack wanted to slap himself. Who says that? “Sorry I didn’t mean it like that I just-”

“Stop apologising for everything, I really don't mind.” Alex shoved a can into Jack’s hand and took his blanket, laying it over them both. “If you get beer on this I swear I’ll have you deported.”