Darling, You Astound Me

She stood in front of the mirror of her bathroom, her heart beating a hundred miles per minute. She didn’t want to go. She really didn’t. If her boyfriend hadn’t convinced her to with those beautiful brown eyes and charming smile, she would be in her pajamas right now, curled up in bed and watching movies. Instead, she was in a navy blue dress with an itchy black cardigan and flats that dug into her feet. At least the dress was soft and comfy.

She felt a small kick in her stomach and initially mistook it for another feeling her anxiety was giving her. But she felt another kick, harder this time, and she realized it was the baby girl resting in her womb. An overwhelming surge of warmth flooded her chest, momentarily helping her forget about the heart attack she had felt like she was about to have. The baby kicking and moving around was something she was still getting used to, given that it had just started recently. She rubbed the top of her belly gently. Regardless of the circumstance, she didn’t feel the slightest bit of regret. She was five months along and head over heels in love with the unborn baby. And she was grateful that her boyfriend hadn’t bailed on her and had stood by her side all his time, as well as his family. After her parents practically disowned her all those months ago after she refused to get an abortion, she had been depressed. She had never gotten along with her parents beforehand, but the fact didn’t quell the betrayal and hurt she still felt. But she tried her best to set it aside, making herself focus on her health and that of her baby’s instead.

The front door to their dorm opened and shut gently. Just hearing the distinct footsteps made her heart flutter against her chest and made her grin from ear-to-ear. She turned around in time to see him stop at the bathroom door, looking as handsome as always in a navy blue tux and matching tie. He smiled brightly at her, something flickering in his eyes when they laid on her.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart.” He told her, his deep, rich voice having an effect similar to ecstasy on her. He leaned forward and kissed her sweetly on the lips, sneaking his hand in between them to rub her stomach, his way of greeting the baby too. Usually she felt uncomfortable and self-conscious when anyone, even him, touched her stomach. But for some unexplained reason, the action this time made Asia’s heart soar.

He pulled away from her and smiled at her. “Are you ready to go?”

No, no, no. She wanted to say. Can we just stay home please? Let’s just lay down together and watch movies until we fall asleep. But instead, she smiled brightly at him and confirmed that she was.

Seth drove as she sat in the passenger seat, absentmindedly rubbing her stomach every once in a while. If she was expecting her baby at a later age, say her mid-to-late twenties, she wouldn’t be as nervous. But she was barely eighteen and expecting a baby with her older boyfriend. And now, she was on her way to meet his extended family. It wasn’t that she didn’t love his immediate family; they were beyond wonderful and she felt really comfortable around them. But she didn’t know the rest of his family and the idea of meeting them scared her. She desperately tried not to think of it. She tried not to think of their judgmental eyes, their mouths forming disapproving frowns, their thoughts that involved “loser” or “low-life”. But then she remembered that this was Seth’s family. Not hers. This reminder helped calm her a bit, but the anxiety still lingered close by like a lost puppy.

They sat in the car for ten minutes after pulling up. She didn’t need to tell him that she wasn’t ready to go in yet. If it wasn’t the worried and terrified look she had on her face that tipped him off, it was her wringing her shaking hands. He managed to pry one of her hands away from the other and held it tenderly in his own, hoping it would calm her even just a little bit. After waiting five more minutes, she finally inhaled deeply and told him she was ready. Before she could even finish unbuckling her seat-belt, he was already opening her door for her, holding his hand out for her to take. At least he’s here, She thought to herself. He’s here with me, I’m okay.

As soon as they had walked through the door, they were greeted with hugs. No one in the family looked at her any differently than they did Seth. There were brief second glances toward her and her bulging stomach, but they were never dirty looks. They still greeted her like she was a relative they hadn’t seen in years. Seth didn’t leave her side the entire time, other than to get her something to drink when she needed one. When she felt her bladder reach its limit, she placed a hand on Seth’s shoulder gently to gain his attention. “I’ll be in the bathroom.” She told him quietly so only he would hear. She hurried to the restroom upstairs, but took her time after relieving herself to touch up anything with her appearance, even though everything was still intact.

Regardless of the get together going well- better than she expected, actually- she still felt out of place. The anxiety hadn’t left her chest since they left home and it was making her want to cry. She felt a sense of longing weaved into the mix. For her parents maybe? She was confused. She was used to daily nagging phone calls from her mother, telling her to either transfer to a different school closer to her hometown or, at the very least, telling her what to do and what classes to take. She was used to the phone calls including a reminder of a party they were throwing and she needed to attend, even if it would most likely end with Asia leaving upset by something her parents said or did. As irritating as that and their other methods of suffocating her had been, the silence between her and her parents was killing her more so.

She heard a soft knock on the door, pulling her out of her thoughts with a start. She wondered how long she had been in there as she unlocked the door and opened it. In front of her stood Perry, Seth’s mother. She smiled widely at her son’s partner, her smile and presence warm and comforting.

“Sorry to bother you, dear.” Perry said, her expression softer than her voice. “I was just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re doing alright.”

“Oh, I’m alright.” Asia told her with a smile that she struggled to put on.

“I was hoping you’d come into the other room so we could speak for a moment.”

Asia’s heart began to sink a little, the look on Perry’s face no longer helping. It wasn’t necessarily a bad look, just a rather serious one that Asia was afraid to question. But she kept the smile on her face as she nodded without a word, following her mother-in-law into the bedroom down the hall.

Perry sat at the end of hers and her husband’s bed, gesturing for Asia to sit with her by patting the empty spot beside her lightly. The young girl moved forward from her place a few feet away and sat beside her. Her concern was growing stronger and stronger by the second, but before she could say anything to break the silence, Perry spoke first.

“I know that all of this is hard for you; college, the baby, your family. But Ron and I both want you to know that we support you and Seth 100%.”

Asia processed what she was saying, and couldn’t stop the tears from brimming her eyes. But Perry continued to smile at her.

“You’re probably thinking that we blame you or think that you’ve ruined Seth’s future, but we don’t at all. We welcomed you into the family from the get-go and that hasn’t ever changed. And we will always be there to support all three of you.” Perry’s words touched Asia’s heart, to the point where it was almost more overwhelming than the warmth she felt for her baby. No words that Asia could speak would be able to describe how grateful she was to have such supportive in-laws. Asia leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Perry, hugging her tightly. Receiving the hug made up for all the years Asia’s own mother had failed to show a single loving bone in her body. And now, for the first time in five months, Asia felt like all of it would be okay. She didn’t need her parents anymore.

The two of them retreated downstairs, separating at the bottom of the stairs to find their individual partners. When Asia finally found Seth, she found him by the photos his parents had set out on bookshelves and mantles. She came up behind him and hugged him as best as she could, proving it to be a little difficult considering he was almost a foot taller than her. But she released him as he turned around and she smiled at him once they were facing each other.

“You look really happy.” He commented with a puzzled smile. But he sounded happy, even relieved. Which in turn made her happier.

“I’m feeling pretty good.” She responded as she felt like her body was lightening up.

“That’s really good,” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, looking into her hazel eyes as his face became completely serious. “I’ve been really worried about you.”

Those words felt like a bag of bricks being smashed into her chest. Her face fell slightly. She’d been so wrapped up in how she’d been feeling, she didn’t even think for one second how Seth was doing with all of this. He was scared too. He was having a baby when school would end for him a year from now, and the baby was due a month after his senior year started. They hadn’t even discussed how all of it would work- going to school and taking care of their child- and who would take what role at what hour or day. He’d left her alone and let her think on her own and been there for her whenever she’d been crying or needed to vent. She hadn’t done any of that for him.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

At first, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. But then he quickly realized what she was talking about, and he pulled her into an embrace, kissing the top of her head. “You don’t need to be. You needed time to sort it all out.”

“But you were there for me. I wasn’t there for you.” She looked up at him. “I promise I will be from now on though. I love you.”

She could’ve sworn he was blushing, but it was hard to tell in this lighting. He kissed her on the lips and stayed for a while. And when his lips finally parted from hers, it was too soon. But what he said next made up for it. “I love you too. We’ll make it through this, sweetheart. I promise. It’ll be okay.”

And that was it. That one sentence made it feel like everything had come together. Though she knew it had always been like this, she truly felt the support now. Her boyfriend’s parents didn’t hate her and her boyfriend stood by her. It was finally sinking in now.

A sudden kick in her stomach startled her and like earlier that day, it took her a second to realize what it was. Then she gazed down at her stomach with a large smile on her face. As her daughter’s kicks resumed one by one like the soft beating of a drum, she grabbed her lover’s hand and placed it on her stomach where the kicks were landing, holding it there. She watched his face closely and the confused look he had had previously was gradually replaced by a smile as excited and big as hers. It was first time he had ever felt her kick. It took all Asia had not to start crying, this time out of joy. It’ll be okay.