Love Buzz

Chapter 4: Public Meeting

Okay, so the phone conversation was a total epic fail. I was still in a bad mood even hours later when Kurt called me back, apologizing for having to leave. Of course, I couldn’t stay mad at him, but I was still perturbed that I hadn’t told him already. The timing wasn’t right now.

“So, um, maybe if you aren’t too mad at me,” Kurt started, getting straight to his point. “Maybe we could meet and then you tell me?”

I was surprised, but also really happy. A second chance, offered to me on a silver platter by a gorgeous waiter named Kurt. I made myself hungry just thinking about it like that.

“Mmk, how about we get something to eat? I’m starving.”

“Alright, sounds good,” I could feel Kurt smiling on the other end of the phone. “Talk to you later, man. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and sat on the couch in a daze, taking the time to soak in what just happened. I stared blankly at the TV, looking empty, but inside, there was so much more going on. I was happy Kurt decided to meet me, sad that he might not want to be friends with me anymore, scared to tell him in the first place, and fed up that he couldn’t tell that I lusted after him (I refused to say I loved him. I had no idea why, love just didn‘t feel like the real word for it) in the first place so I wouldn’t have to tell him. Sooner or later, I got tired of watching the wall, so I got up to get my keys and drive over to where we were meeting.

I drove in complete silence, not even bothering to turn on the radio. Maybe I was nervous about everything just about now. My hands gripped the steering wheel so tight that I thought my knuckles would bust through the skin covering them. I turned up into the diner’s driveway, already seeing Kurt’s old car in its usual parking space (tells you how much he’s here). I park the car and take the keys out of the ignition, savoring the moment before I would have to get out of the car. I gulped, opening the car door, and step out.

Slappy’s Diner wasn’t that new of a place; it was actually a very old building that seemed to tower over the strip it was a part of. Its yellow paint was peeling off of its walls, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the building collapsed any day now. I slowly approached the wooden double doors, hesitating to open it and face my best friend. With a loud creaking noise and the ring of a small bell, I pulled the heavy door open, entering the diner.

“Well, hello, welcome to Slappy’s, my name is Muriel, I’ll be taking care of you this evening…” a plump waitress walked up to me, reciting the mantra that all the employees greet customers with. The woman looked to be in her 60s, with short, curly, badly dyed red hair and wrinkles all over her face. She wore the Slappy’s yellow polo Tshirt, polished off with the tacky brass nametag, paired with white slacks. She was a fashion disaster waiting to happen, I kid you not.

“Someone’s waiting for me,” I cut her off, looking past her to see Kurt in his familiar green cardigan and messy, dirty, blonde hair. I didn’t mean to be rude, but if you had to be somewhere, and you were nervous out of your wits, wouldn’t you rather just be where you’re supposed to and not make small talk with people in your way.

“Okay, just go through and join your party,” Muriel looked up at me, the scary fake smile burning through my eyes. I looked away from her, and walked through the wooden archway to join Kurt, and I thought I heard her mutter “jackass” under her breath.

I barely even reached the table before Kurt lowered his menu, grinned at me, and near shouted “Hey!” at me. I stared at him, taking in his beautiful smile and eyes. Courtney Love was a lucky bitch. I will probably say this over nine thousand times, but it was the truth, and she didn’t deserve him. I nervously took a seat, my eyes shifting from vintage poster covered wall to vintage poster covered wall.

“Hi, Kurt…”

Kurt lifted his eyebrow at me as his smile faltered, but said nothing as another, younger waitress came to our table.

“Okay, now that we’re all here,” she started, her smile much more natural than Muriel’s. Her short, red hair was kept back by a small black headband, a pen tucked behind her ear. Her glasses were pushed up high on her nose, small diamonds glittering from the ends. I didn’t have to really look up to see her, as she was short (as most of the employees at Slappy’s were), but I thought vaguely that if I was straight, I’d ask her out. Shut up, brain, I swear, you’ll get smacked. I am straight…I think. I’m just a little confused.

“Yeah right, and I’m my own separate person making all of this up. Maybe I look like that waitress you’re checking out right now,” my head voice returned, pestering me again. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples.

“Are you alright?” I heard two voices ask me at the same time. I opened my eyes to see the waitress and Kurt staring intently (the waitress not so much) at me. “Do you need some water, sir,” the waitress added.

“I’m fine, thank you, but I would like a diet Coke,” I replied, shaking off my voice and the headache it was causing me. She looked at me concerned a second longer, but scribbled the order down, and turned to Kurt.

“And for you?”

Kurt thought for a moment, looking out the window next to our table, and back at her. I could have sworn right there that I heard the waitress gulp and look down at her pad, embarrassed.

“Do you have pennyroyal tea?”

“We do.”

“Some of that please.”

The waitress jotted down the order and turned to leave, but quickly turned back to us and said,

“If you need anything, my name is Mia, and I’m…er…already your waitress.”

She shuffled off in a hurry, probably because of Kurt. He was always doing that here, even though he’s oblivious to it. I was kind of jealous. If I could charm the ladies like that…

“You wouldn’t care,” my voice intervened, cutting me off yet again. “You’d want to charm Kurt and only Kurt, you filthy liar, so pull your head out of your own ass and admit it to yourself.”

I grit my teeth, telling my voice to shut up or I will shut it up for it. It subsided after a final smirk (I could just see the smirk on its dirty little face…if it had one), leaving me to talk to Kurt in peace.

You sure you’re ok, Dave?” Kurt asked, looking into my eyes, as if looking into my mind, making me very uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Silence overtook us as we sat waiting for our drinks. I stared down at the table, thinking of what I was going to say. Should I say it blatantly? No, I can just see the look of utter disturbance on Kurt’s face. And, if I said it blatantly, I would say,

“I want you in my bed.”

Yeah, I don’t think that would win too many points with too many people, especially if they have the same genitalia as you, and even more so if they’re your best friend. Or should I go with a more subtle approach? No because if I tried that, Kurt wouldn’t get the message. He just didn’t work well with subtle. What was I supposed to do, just sit here and let my mind devour me as Kurt looks out the window and continues to be oblivious!? I wouldn’t be able to handle that!

“There you are, sirs,” Mia called, coming back with our drinks and setting them down on the table. “Are you ready to order?”

“Nothing for me,” Kurt said right off the bat. I thought it was a good decision too, seeing as I didn’t want him to choke after I told him my good-or-bad news. Mia turned to me, her pen and pad in hand.

“Nothing for me as well.” I wasn’t hungry, and the thought of telling Kurt how I felt while I was eating just seemed unappealing. Mia nodded and shuffled off to tend to other tables. I was a little sad that she had to go because that meant that I would have to tell him sooner. I watched intently as he reached for his pennyroyal tea, stirring the straw around in it. The air was tense, each of us wanting to say something but deciding not to. We sat, saying nothing, and staring down at the table. Soon enough, I couldn’t take the pregnant silence.

“Kurt, I have a confession to make.”

Kurt jumped, surprised at my sudden proclamation. His blue eyes stared into mine in curiosity, and he sat up, setting his cup down, all ears. I suddenly found it very hard to speak; my voice had caught in my throat. More silence ensued as I pulled myself together, but right as I was about to confess what I had been feeling for weeks on end, his cell phone rang. He looked down, leaning to get his phone out of his pocket.

“Hello,” his voice sounded airy, as if he was irritated. I vaguely wondered if it was my doing. I could barely hear nasally chattering on the other side of the conversation, and I could feel my irritation meter rising. Courtney was yet ruining another one of my chances to finally end my own agony.

“Yeah…yeah, I’ll be there,” Kurt told Courtney hastily as he hung up on her. He looked at me apologetically, getting up from his seat.

“I’m sorry, Dave,” Kurt told me, standing up. “Courtney needs me at home right now. Maybe you can tell me later, yeah?”

I said nothing; I merely nodded at his proposal as he left to go tend to his wife. To be quite honest, I’ve never felt so much anger and irritation towards any one person before. I leaned forward, my elbows on the table, my hands in my hair as I tried to calm down. I heard the shuffling of feet over to me as I heard Mia’s voice.

“Are you alright, sir? Could I get you anything else?”

I looked up at her, sick and tired of all of this.

“Just bring me the check.”