I'm Not Okay
020
****** Franks P.O.V********
"Hey Mikey, how is Gerard?" I asked.
"He's good, there gonna disinfect the cut then stitch him up, they said maybe thirty-five stitches."
"Oh my god I feel so bad."
"Don't be, he just can't lift anything for about two weeks."
I stayed silent at that; I went into early labor and the baby will be born before two weeks. So Gerard won't be able to hold his son.
"Frank is everything okay?" Mikey asked still in the line.
"Yeah, um.....are you still with him?"
"Yea, he's right here." Mikey answered, I heard Gerard yell out a “hi” in the background.
"Tell him I hope he gets better. Oh um, how long do you think it's gonna take?" I asked as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I was getting another contraction.
"About an hour or two, do you miss us already Frank?" Mikey asked then laughed.
"Y-yeah I-I do." I said through my teeth, god damn these contractions hurt.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah he's just kicking really hard."
"You sure?" He whispered.
"Positive, call me before you leave the hospital."
"Okay frank." Mikey said then hung up.
My mom came over and held my hand and I experienced another contraction. My god this was worse than when the doctor had to stick her hand up my butt. As soon as the contraction passes Dr. Shannon came in.
"Please just cut him out of me." I begged.
"Sorry Frank but there won't be any cutting or pushing anytime soon. I wanna keep him in there a little longer."
"How? He wants to come out now though."
"Well there are two ways I wanna try; we can give you Tachycardia which can help delay the labor and give the baby more time to develop. But the side effects can give the baby low blood pressure or a faster heart beat the regular people. But it has-”
“No! Bryce is gonna have a freak for a father already, I don’t want him to have anything else wrong with him.” I yelled.
“Frankie baby, you’re no freak.” My mom said as he sat closer to me and stroked my hair.
“Then why am I in a hospital bed, almost eight months pregnant mom! I’m a man, I shouldn’t even be pregnant.”
“Frankie-”
“Look mom, can you go get me something to eat or something. I think I wanna make this choice on my own.” I told her then looked away.
I heard her sigh but she got up and left me and Dr. Shannon alone. I felt bad about kicking her out but I just wasn’t up for anyone lying to me; am I pregnant man, a freak. And that’s the truth.
“Frank.” My Doctor said, she had a tone that made me know I was wrong for snapping at my mother. But I didn’t have time to focus on that, I was to busy thinking about my son.
“What’s the other option?”
She sighed the continued, “Magnesium sulfate, it can delay the labor twenty-four to forty-eight hours, and in that time we will inject the baby with steroids-”
“You wanna drug my baby!” I yelled at her wide eyed. She just looked at me with a ‘let me finish look’, “Sorry go on I muttered.”
“The steroids will help your baby’s lungs develop faster. It’s a good thing Frank.”
“Okay,” I said then took a deep breath, “Looks like Bryce is gonna be here in less than two days.”
“It looks like it,” She said then smiled at me, “Everything will be okay Frank; I’ll go get the IV, don’t worry Frank.”
“I’m scared.” I said in a small voice.
“Just think about your son.” She said then rubbed my arm, “You probably don’t wanna hear it, but I would tell Gerard so he can be here for the two of you.”
“He was stabbed jumping in front his crazy soon to be ex-wife who wanted to kill me. He’s also getting a lot of stitches and won’t be able to hold his son for the first two weeks of his life. He has enough to worry about; I don’t need to stress him out even more.”
“Frank, you’re giving birth to a baby who’s coming five weeks early, and you’re very clearly scared, let him worry about you for a change. Or at least think about it.” She said as she left the room.
As I waited for the doctor to come back in with the IV, my mother came in, she looked kinda guilt.
“Hey Frankie baby, how are you?” She asked.
“I’m kinda scared, I chose what to do and it should delay his birth up to forty-eight hours and in that time they’re going to inject him with steroids to make his lungs develop more.”
“I’m sorry baby, I’m really sorry you have to go through this. But baby, I asked how you are.”
“I’m scared mommy.” I said and I started sobbing, my mom came over and held me in her arms as I sobbed into them.
“Shh baby shh. It’s okay; we will always be here for you.” She said as she wiped away my tears.
“We?”
“Don’t be mad, but while you were talking to the doctor, I went to go find Gerard and Mikey and I told them, Gerard is gonna finish getting fixed up then he’s coming back over here as soon as he can. Don’t be mad baby.”
"Hey Mikey, how is Gerard?" I asked.
"He's good, there gonna disinfect the cut then stitch him up, they said maybe thirty-five stitches."
"Oh my god I feel so bad."
"Don't be, he just can't lift anything for about two weeks."
I stayed silent at that; I went into early labor and the baby will be born before two weeks. So Gerard won't be able to hold his son.
"Frank is everything okay?" Mikey asked still in the line.
"Yeah, um.....are you still with him?"
"Yea, he's right here." Mikey answered, I heard Gerard yell out a “hi” in the background.
"Tell him I hope he gets better. Oh um, how long do you think it's gonna take?" I asked as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I was getting another contraction.
"About an hour or two, do you miss us already Frank?" Mikey asked then laughed.
"Y-yeah I-I do." I said through my teeth, god damn these contractions hurt.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah he's just kicking really hard."
"You sure?" He whispered.
"Positive, call me before you leave the hospital."
"Okay frank." Mikey said then hung up.
My mom came over and held my hand and I experienced another contraction. My god this was worse than when the doctor had to stick her hand up my butt. As soon as the contraction passes Dr. Shannon came in.
"Please just cut him out of me." I begged.
"Sorry Frank but there won't be any cutting or pushing anytime soon. I wanna keep him in there a little longer."
"How? He wants to come out now though."
"Well there are two ways I wanna try; we can give you Tachycardia which can help delay the labor and give the baby more time to develop. But the side effects can give the baby low blood pressure or a faster heart beat the regular people. But it has-”
“No! Bryce is gonna have a freak for a father already, I don’t want him to have anything else wrong with him.” I yelled.
“Frankie baby, you’re no freak.” My mom said as he sat closer to me and stroked my hair.
“Then why am I in a hospital bed, almost eight months pregnant mom! I’m a man, I shouldn’t even be pregnant.”
“Frankie-”
“Look mom, can you go get me something to eat or something. I think I wanna make this choice on my own.” I told her then looked away.
I heard her sigh but she got up and left me and Dr. Shannon alone. I felt bad about kicking her out but I just wasn’t up for anyone lying to me; am I pregnant man, a freak. And that’s the truth.
“Frank.” My Doctor said, she had a tone that made me know I was wrong for snapping at my mother. But I didn’t have time to focus on that, I was to busy thinking about my son.
“What’s the other option?”
She sighed the continued, “Magnesium sulfate, it can delay the labor twenty-four to forty-eight hours, and in that time we will inject the baby with steroids-”
“You wanna drug my baby!” I yelled at her wide eyed. She just looked at me with a ‘let me finish look’, “Sorry go on I muttered.”
“The steroids will help your baby’s lungs develop faster. It’s a good thing Frank.”
“Okay,” I said then took a deep breath, “Looks like Bryce is gonna be here in less than two days.”
“It looks like it,” She said then smiled at me, “Everything will be okay Frank; I’ll go get the IV, don’t worry Frank.”
“I’m scared.” I said in a small voice.
“Just think about your son.” She said then rubbed my arm, “You probably don’t wanna hear it, but I would tell Gerard so he can be here for the two of you.”
“He was stabbed jumping in front his crazy soon to be ex-wife who wanted to kill me. He’s also getting a lot of stitches and won’t be able to hold his son for the first two weeks of his life. He has enough to worry about; I don’t need to stress him out even more.”
“Frank, you’re giving birth to a baby who’s coming five weeks early, and you’re very clearly scared, let him worry about you for a change. Or at least think about it.” She said as she left the room.
As I waited for the doctor to come back in with the IV, my mother came in, she looked kinda guilt.
“Hey Frankie baby, how are you?” She asked.
“I’m kinda scared, I chose what to do and it should delay his birth up to forty-eight hours and in that time they’re going to inject him with steroids to make his lungs develop more.”
“I’m sorry baby, I’m really sorry you have to go through this. But baby, I asked how you are.”
“I’m scared mommy.” I said and I started sobbing, my mom came over and held me in her arms as I sobbed into them.
“Shh baby shh. It’s okay; we will always be here for you.” She said as she wiped away my tears.
“We?”
“Don’t be mad, but while you were talking to the doctor, I went to go find Gerard and Mikey and I told them, Gerard is gonna finish getting fixed up then he’s coming back over here as soon as he can. Don’t be mad baby.”