Young Volcanoes

For a moment there I thought things were as bad as they could get, things could only get better from there. I guess I underestimated the universe.

It had always been my sister and me against the world, the only problem was that she stopped caring about everything.

I guess everything went to shit the day my sister tried to kill herself. It had been three months before our sixteenth birthday, and I just couldn’t understand why. We were supposed to meet at our usual spot before heading to our separate schools, but she never showed, which was so unlike her but I figured she was sick.

I went to check in on her after school and after my cello practice. She lived in Brooklyn with Mrs. Larson who in all honesty was a complete bitch. But Mika never complained, she liked looking at the positive things, like having a roof over her head.

I knocked on her door, Mrs. Larson never liked to open the door so she always send one of the foster children to get the door, this time it was Anderson who opened it.

“Can you tell Mika that her sister is here.”

“She’s not here.”

“Is she at soccer practice?”

“No, she’s at the hospital”

I felt sick to my stomach.

“Why?”

Anderson shrugged, “Mrs. Larson just told us she’s not coming back.”

I freaked out. Why would she be in the hospital? I ran down the streets and into the subway heading towards New York City, I didn’t know where else to go but to mine and Mika’s social worker, Ruth Clark.

“Miss. Addams what brings you here today?”

“It’s Winona and I need to see Ruth.”

“Mrs. Clark is busy at the moment.”

“I need to talk to her!”

Just then her office door opened, “come in Miss. Addams.”

“Do you know what happened to Mika?” I asked desperately

“Please sit down.”

“Is she okay?”

“Winona, please sit down.”

I did as she told me and took a seat in front of her desk. Waiting impatiently.

“Do you know what happened to Mika?” I asked again

Ruth sighed and gave me a single nod. “She tried to commit suicide.”

“That’s not true, she wouldn’t do that.” I was in disbelief.

“Unfortunately it is, and she almost succeeded.”

“Where is she?”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

“She’s my sister, I need to be there for her.”

Ruth sighed she glanced down at one of her drawers but pretended it was nothing, she had a habit of doing that whenever one of us was not fitting in which was usually me. She stood up from her chair and walked around the desk to take a seat next to me.

“She’s getting evaluated.”

“Evaluated? For what?”

“To see if her mental health is stable enough to leave the hospital.”

I stared at her, I knew she was telling the truth but I didn’t want to believe it. Why would she try to kill herself? She was always talking about looking at the positive things of life.

This was so unlike her.

“I know it’s a lot to take in but she’s fine, and that’s all that matters.”

She wasn’t fine but I didn’t want to talk to Ruth about that.

“I want to see her.”

Ruth shook her head, “at the moment she doesn’t want to see you.”

“I will give Mrs. Fitzgerald a call to let her know that you were here and that you’re on your way home.”

“That’s not my home,” I mumbled under my breath.

I walked out of her office and made my way to my so called ‘home. To be honest it wasn’t so bad. It was better than the last nine foster homes I had been in, that was for sure. She was strict but not harsh.

The problem with all my other foster parents was that they were always trying to intimidate me and make it seem like I was nothing but trash and that only made it easier for me to be a complete bitch.

With Margaret it was different, she wasn’t having any of my bullshit. She made it clear that all she wanted from me was to go to school and do my chores and I could do whatever I wanted on a free time, so we made a deal that every day I would come home do my homework and my chores and I was free to do whatever else I wanted.

“I’m glad you made it home safely.” She greeted me with a small smile.

I just smiled at her, I took off my coat and hanged it on the hallway closet.

“Food is set on the table, after you eat do your homework and then your chores.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I heard about your sister, I’m glad that she’s okay.”

“Me too,” I mumbled and headed to the kitchen

I wasn’t hungry so I dumped the soup down the drain and went to my room.

I couldn’t focus on doing my homework, all I could think about was my sister. Why didn’t she want to see me? Was she ashamed? Did she think I wouldn’t be able to understand?
I fell into my bed crying, feeling hopeless. I just wanted Mika to be okay. She was all I had in this world. It was supposed to be me and her against the world.

She was supposed to be the one that made all the right decisions. She was always planning for the future, what she wanted to do once she was done with high school and out of the system. She was a perfectionist (which at most times I couldn’t stand that). Why would she want to kill herself if she had so many things to look forward to? Maybe all that pushed her over the edge.