Don't Let Go

Vic ~

“Victor Vincent Fuentes, were you smoking in my living room?” mom shouted at me. “No mama, I wasn’t smoking,” I answered honestly. I hadn’t been smoking, but Jenna had. “Then why does my living room smell like cigarette smoke, huh? And don’t you dare lie to me Victor,”
I sighed and waited for her to be finished. “Answer me,” she ordered. “No mama, I swear I wasn’t smoking. My girlfriend was. And I didn’t tell you that I had a girlfriend because we’re not serious and I didn’t want you to fuss about it,” I said, knowing she would make a huge deal anyways.
“Well, who is this girl? Why haven’t I met her? She’s not a bad girl is she? Is she good to you?” Mom asked quickly, not even giving me a chance to answer.
“Well, I want to meet her before you do get serious and I want you to be careful Victor. I don’t need grandbabies yet.” I sighed again, muttering to myself. “I’m not going to have kids in high school mama,” Or after that…. “I know, but I still want you to be careful,”
I blocked out the rest of what she was saying, having heard it a hundred times. Don’t get me wrong; I loved her, but she could talk forever about the most irrelevant things. I waited for a lull before quickly running up to my bedroom and locking the door behind myself.
It was Friday night, and there wasn’t a chance that I would be staying in tonight. A friend of mine, Austin was throwing a party up at his parents’ lake house, and I definitely wasn’t going to miss it.
I showered hastily and dressed in pair of black skinny jeans and a white v-neck, pulling a beanie over my hair before slipping into my Vans.
I opened my bedroom window, straddling the sill and then swung my other leg over the side and dropped to the ground below.
My feet hit the grass, and then I was off, avoiding the light shining from our front porch as I headed to the car I knew would be waiting.
Just as was planned, Jenna was parked next to the curb, the engine of her little car purring as I got in the passenger side. “Hey babe,” she said in that Australian accent of hers and leaned over to kiss me. Her tongue flicked into my mouth quickly, leaving behind the bitter taste of cigarettes. “Hi,” I mumbled, more excited to get to the party than to spend the night with her.
We’d been dating for about six months now, and as great as Jay was, I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. We had fallen into a rut—or at least I had—and it was starting to feel more like an obligation than a relationship.
“What’s wrong Vic?” she asked and rested her hand high up on my thigh. The tips of her fingers brushed the front of my jeans as she drove—sorry for her—I didn’t feel anything. “Nothing, just kinda out of it,” I said quietly, hoping she would let it go. “You sure honey?” I nodded silently and looked out window, letting her know I didn’t want to talk.

We got to Austin’s place about a half hour later, his boyfriend Alan smiling when he saw me. “Hey cutie,” I said, and hugged him. “Hey. Austin’s inside, probably getting trashed. How’ve you been?” he asked, and took a sip from the plastic cup in his hand.
“I’m good, how ‘bout you? I haven’t seen you in forever,” Alan shrugged, letting me rest my hand on the small of his back as we walked inside to find Austin. “I’m okay. And it has been a while. You should come visit more. How’s Jenna?” he said the last part tauntingly. “Fuck off ginger. You know I can’t stand her anymore. She tastes like ash all the time and she’s so clingy.” Alan knew how I felt about Jenna and the fact that it just wasn’t happening anymore.
Alan laughed and pulled me up the large staircase to a hallway littered with closed doors. “Hold on, let me text him quick,”
I watched Alan type a message to his boyfriend.
“Okay, he’s actually out by the pool now,” he said and took my hand to pull me out back. There were about a hundred people lunging or swimming or drinking. Austin was standing by the far side of the pool talking to Shayley and sipping from one of the red cups everyone had.
“Aus,” Alan said and touched his side. Austin smiled and kissed his lips quickly and then smiled at me. “Hey Vic, what’s up?” he asked cheerfully. I could tell he was already buzzed, his cheeks slightly flushed from the alcohol. “You want a drink?” he asked me, not bothering to wait for an answer to his first question. “Sure, why not?” I teased. He knew I would be drinking tonight.
“You might need a ride home though,” Alan said, nodding his head across the pool, “Jenna already looks smashed.”
He was right; Jenna was stumbling a little as she walked towards us, a drink in her hands. “Hey babie,” she slurred, breathing in my face. Her breath reeked of alcohol. “Hi. You’re drunk already? We literally just got here,” I reprimanded.
“Oh fuck you. I’m not drunk. I’m jusst tipssy. I don’t get drunk Vic,” she said, slurring some more and leaning her weight on me. “Sure, whatever. I’m gonna get a drink,” I said and wriggled out from under her. Austin chuckled; he was supposed to get it, and pointed Tay out to Jenna. Good, maybe she would leave me alone now. “Be right back,” I said to Austin and Alan and went to grab a drink from the kitchen.
There were less people inside; just a few hanging around and getting absolutely bombed.
“Hey hey Vic,” my best friend said. I grinned at Jaime and walked over to where he was leaning against the counter. “Care for a drink?” he asked, already pouring one for me. “Of course, you know what I like,” I teased, grinning at him. “You bet I do,” I laughed, tipping my head back. Jaime knew I was bi and flirted just to tease me. It was just something we did.
“Here, taste that. A specialty,” I laughed and rolled my eyes, taking a sip of the drink he handed me.
“This is straight whiskey,” I said after having swallowed the fire he gave me. “Yes it is, now drink up,” I grinned at him and obediently took another large swallow. “Good boy,” Jaime grinned. “How’s Jenna?” he asked. I turned my finger up at him and continued to drink, making him laugh.
“So grow a pair and dump her,” I groaned at his words. That would be the easy solution if I didn’t know Jenna would cry. I had tried to break up with her once before and she started bawling.
“But she’ll cry,” I whined, “I can’t take it when they cry,”
I knew I sounded like an asshole, stringing her along, but I didn’t want to hurt her. I hate breaking up with people. “Well then, you spineless little bitch, you’re stuck with her,” I groaned again and knocked back the rest of my drink.
“Whatever, I’ll just deal for now,” I said, handing him my cup for another drink. “You know mama’ll be pissed if you’re smashed later,” he warned, even as he poured me the same drink again. “Yeah, so? She’s not going to do anything,” Jaime shrugged and handed my cup back. “It’s your neck,” ~

I wasn’t drunk, but I wasn’t sober either. I could feel the buzz wearing off as I snuck back into my house, only to find my mother standing in the middle of my bedroom with her arms crossed and an angry glare on her face. “Victor,” she said in and icy tone. “Mama,” I said back, and toed my shoes off.
“Where exactly have you been all night?” I shrugged it off like I hadn’t done anything wrong.
“I was just out with friends,” I said, getting the same hard look in return. “Don’t you lie to me Victor Fuentes. Get over here,” I did as she said, not wanting to piss her off any further. “Over. Here.” She enunciated each word, pointing directly in front of her. I grimaced, hoping she wouldn’t notice the alcohol on my breath as I got closer.
“You’ve been drinking?” she asked calmly. Fuck. “It was only one drink.” Four “How many times do I have to tell you not to lie to me?” she scolded and shook her head. “Victor, I want you to pack up your things,”
I recoiled at her words. “What? You’re kicking me out?” My mother sighed and shook her head. “No Vic, I’m not. But you are going to live somewhere else for the summer. Somewhere where you can learn to behave,”
I looked at her incredulously, horrified that she wanted me gone. “Oh don’t look at me that way Victor. I’m not getting rid of you. Think of this as a way to better your attitude; a much better place than military school. And don’t fight me on this, because you’re not getting out of it.” I glared and crossed my arms, waiting for her to continue.
“You’re going to live with a friend of mine and her family. Her children are very well-behaved, and I think they’ll be a very good influence on you,” she said. “So…what? You’re just gonna ship me off to some other family, like I don’t even matter?” I asked, actually hurt.
Mom sighed and closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Don’t do this Vic. I’m tying to do what is best for you, and I think that it’ll be good for you. They even have kids your age. Please, Vic, it’s just one summer. Do this for me,” she pleaded. I glared coldly and sat down on my bed. “Fine. You can leave now,” Her expression turned hurt—ironic—but she turned and left my room. Fuck this. ~

Mom drove me to the airport bright and early the next morning, while I nursed a hangover and Mike sat in the back seat with an irritated look on his face. He had been complaining about me leaving almost as much as I had. “This bites,” he grumbled. “Give a rest Mikey, It’s not gonna change anything,” I said, getting a little pout.
The two of them walked me to the gates after customs, both of them hugging me before I left. I asked Mike to tell Jaime and Tony goodbye, and ignored my mother when she asked me to call her. She was totally going to get the silent treatment for as long as I could hold out. “Bye Vic,” Mike said, and faked a smile as I left, boarding my plane to hell.
Mom had said that I was going to stay with a ‘nice Christian family’ in Oregon. Of course, she didn’t mention the fact that they were a bunch of rich, stuck up, white people. I was seriously going to hate me life for the next three months. ~

I arrived in front of a huge, all-white house that looked more like a mansion. The father figure answered the door, a stupidly happy grin on his face as he looked me over. “Victor, so good to meet you, come in,” He said and watched as I dragged all four of my bags in. Asshat. “Victor, I’m Mr. Bostwick, and this is my wife,” he said, gesturing to a short, bleached-blonde woman. “Hi, it’s lovely to finally meet one of Vivian’s sons,” she said, smiling at me. I nodded, not really acknowledging her. She radiated fake happy and it was really gonna get on my nerves. “Kids! Get down here!” Mr. Bostwick called up their massive staircase. The whole interior of the place was pristine and perfectly polished white. Ew.
Three kids came down the steps; two boys and a girl. “Victor, this is my son Christopher, and my twins, Allison and Anthony,” he said, gesturing to the three. They all looked alike; pale blonde hair with dark brown eyes. Just like their father. “Kellin!” Mr. Bostwick shouted. I raised an eyebrow at al of them, waiting for whoever Kellin was. “I’m serious Kellin, get down here!” his father called and then looked at me. “I’m sorry, Kellin is a bit of a troubled child,” he said sweetly. “Oh Mark, he is not. Kellin’s a sweet boy, he just plays his music too loud,” his mother explained.
A short, black-haired boy came down the steps, not in the least bit of a hurry, and smiled warmly at me. “I’m sorry, I had headphones in. I didn’t mean to be rude,” he said, and extended a hand to me. I looked him over, studying his pretty green eyes and average clothes. He didn’t look like the rest of the family and I wondered why. “Vic,” I said, shaking his hand slightly. “Nice to meet you Vic,” His father sighed and walked up to me again.
“Victor, you’ll be sharing Kellin's bedroom, since his is the largest. Kellin, why don’t you show him,” He nodded and slung my duffel bag over his shoulder, then picked up one of my suitcases. This kid wasn’t so bad. “Oh and mom, you know I’m going to stay with Jesse and his brother right? I can take Vic too,” His mom smiled and nodded happily before he went back up the steps.
I walked passed the three preppy blondes without so much as a word to them and followed Kellin up to his bedroom. There were posters covering most of his walls, along with a large queen sized bed, a dresser, and a desk. He set my things down and then closed the door, locking it. “So why exactly are you here?” he asked and sat down on the bed.
“That’s not really your business, now is it?” I said back, Kellin raising his hands at me. “My bad, I’m just curious. Sorry you have to share a room with me. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m the weird emo kid no one talks about.” I sat on the edge of his bed, listening to this strange kid talk.
“Is that so?” He nodded and then started pulling his shirt off. “What the hell?” I asked, surprised by him just taking his clothes off in front of me.
“What? I’m a boy. Besides, there’s not a chance in hell I’m going out like this.” I blinked awkwardly, but agreed with him. He looked…preppy. I watched him pull his clothes off, revealing his very pale skin, and a pair of tight black boxers briefs. He had these slinky little hips and a nice fucking ass; ones boys definitely should not have.
“You’re staring at me,” he said and stepped into a pair of black skinny jeans that looked like he had painted them on. They hugged his round little ass perfectly, leaving nothing to the imagination. “No I’m not,” I said defensively and averted my eyes. “Liar,” I heard him mutter as he slipped a black band t over his head.
The clothes suited him better than the ones he had had on; the jeans making his slim legs longer. He started straightening his black hair, combing his fingers through it every so often. “Hey, did you want to come with me?” he asked, looking at my reflection in the mirror. “Why would I?” I retorted, not in the mood to hang out with a bunch of church kids.
“Well it beats staying here with my…family.” I quirked an eyebrow at him questioningly. “What do you mean?”
Kellin pressed his lips together, deciding what he wanted to say before he actually spoke. “They’re my mom’s family; Mark and his kids. She married him when I was a kid and had his babies,” he said sarcastically. I was starting to like him.
“Oh, and I asked you to come with because otherwise you’ll be going to church camp. And my friends aren’t,” I nodded quickly. No way was I going to church camp.
“Well then go shower and change. You look like hell,” he said, grinning. I flicked him off, rolling my eyes when he pointed to the huge en suite. Fucking rich people.
I showered quickly, dressing in basically the same clothes I had on yesterday, along with a dark grey hoodie. “Much better,” Kellin said when I walked out of the bathroom. He was done with his hair, packing things up in a bag. “You’ll wanna take some stuff. We’ll be staying at Jesse’s for the next eight days. Just long enough to get out of going to camp,” he said deviously. “Aren’t you supposed to be a good little Christian boy?” I asked tauntingly and started switching stuff out of my bags.
“Oh please Vic. Do I look like a good little Christian boy to you?” I laughed at that, shaking my head a little. “That’s what I thought. I wasn’t kidding when I told you I was the emo kid in the family that no one mentions. My good Christian family doesn’t talk about the gay Satan child.”
I raised my eyebrows at him, laughing. “Seriously?” He nodded and grinned. “Are you really surprised? I mean come on Vic, how many straight guys do you know that can get into jeans this tight?” I laughed again and zipped up my duffel bag. “Good point. When do we get out of here?” Kellin checked his phone, typing for a minute, and then looked at me. “Now. Jesse’s outside.” I followed Kellin out of his room, the two of us sneaking past his family and out the door. “Follow me,” he teased and walked down the street a bit to a white van with an anchor painted on the back window. The door opened as soon as he got close, Kellin tossing his bag in to someone and then reaching for mine. I let him toss that in too and then followed him into the van.
He was sitting in some guys lap, brushing his lips against the guys and stealing the cigarette from his mouth. I mentally cringed as Kellin took a drag and crossed one leg over the other. “This is Vic,” he announced, letting the thing dangle between his fingers. “Hi,” said the guy whose lap Kellin was in. “I’m Justin, the redhead with the glasses is Matty, the other is Jesse, and the four in the back are Oli, Danny, Jack, and Gabe.” I nodded, waving a hand lazily and watched as Kellin wriggled around in Justin’s lap. “Can I have that back now, you little thief?” he asked, locking his hands together around Kellin's tiny waist. “Nope, sorry,” he said and blew the smoke into Justin’s face. “Open a window Jess, Kellin's killing me back here,” Oli said, making fake gagging noises. Jesse laughed and rolled his window down for him. “Thank Jesus,” Jack muttered. Kellin ignored all of them and took another long breath off the cigarette before leaning close to Jesse’s seat and flicked it out the window.
“There, you babies,” he said and roughly sat down n Justin’s lap again. He grunted, flinching as Kellin's lithe body hit his. “Fuck Kells,” he complained, “gentle please, you have a bony ass,” I chuckled, getting a glare from my new roommate. “I do not,” Kellin said and filthily ground his ass onto Justin, who gasped and caught his hips to still him. “See?” Kellin breathed in Justin’s ear seductively.
“Can you fucking not? We’re in a car,” Matty said and gave Kellin a disgusted look. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” ~

We had been driving for about an hour when Kellin fell asleep, his head on Justin’s shoulder. It was another half hour later that he started complaining. “Kellin. Kellin, wake up, you’re putting my legs to sleep,” Kellin looked up at him sleepily and glared. “Well, I’m sorry, but there’s nowhere else to sit,” he said sassily and crossed his arms. “Well then sit on someone else, because you’re getting too heavy,” Justin retorted, suddenly annoyed with him. Kellin flinched a little at his words, a hurt expression crossing his features briefly.
“Kellin, come here,” I said without even thinking, and let him sit down on my lap. He mouthed a ‘fuck you’ at Justin and laid his head on my shoulder, my arms going around his waist to keep him in place.
He was warm and despite Justin’s words, very light. I was surprised that he barely weighed a thing, and yet Justin had complained.
Kellin put his arms around my neck, giving me a perfect view of his pale, skinny wrist. There were slightly-faded red lines on his arms; ones I had failed to notice until now. The sight of them made me sick to my stomach and I thought back to how he called himself the ‘emo’ kid, but decided to leave him be for now. ~

Kellin was really cute when he slept. His lips parted slightly as he breathed through them, his dark hair making a nice contrast with his skin. His long, dark eyelashes brushed his cheeks as he slept, warm breath tickling the skin of my neck.
“Are any of you hungry?” Jesse asked, looking in back in the rear-view mirror. There were a chorus of yeses from around the van, so Jesse got off at the nearest exit, headed to the little diner advertised on the billboard above us. He pulled into the parking lot, stopping in the middle of it. “Hey,” I whispered and nudged Kellin gently until he started to stir. “Hm?” he mumbled, his sleepy green eyes meeting mine.
“We’re stopping to get food,” I said and let my arms fall slack around him so he could sit up, smiling when he rubbed at his eyes childishly. “Where are we?” he asked, yawning into his hand. “Some diner,” Everyone else was getting out of the van, headed towards the entrance. “Lemme up,” I said quietly and tapped his leg. He moved off my lap, taking Justin’s seat. I got out of the van and stretched, hearing my back pop a few times. “Aren’t you coming?” I asked Kellin, who was still sitting in the van, scrolling through his phone.
“Hm, oh, no, thanks. You go ahead,” he said and gave me a little smile. “Are you sure?” I asked. I was starving, so he at east had to be hungry. “Yeah, I’m good,”
I frowned, but went into the diner to get dinner. ~

Kellin was sitting with the door open, his legs crossed and resting on the back of Matty’s seat. “Hey,” I said, scaring him. He jumped a little and looked up at me, smiling.
“Hey. Aren’t you eating inside?” he asked and slid his phone into his back pocket. “Nah, I figured I would eat in here with you,” I said, hopping up into my seat.
“Come here,” I said and set the food container on the floor. He did as I asked, straddling my lap, and leaned his back against Matty’s seat. “Here,” I said and opened the container. Kellin shook his head when I tried to hand him half of the sandwich I had bought. “C’mon, I know you’re hungry,” I said. He looked at me funny, cocking his head to the side a little.
“Thanks,” he said softly and took a little hesitant bite. I had gotten fries too and a bottle of Pepsi. Kellin and I ate quietly for a minute before I decided to talk.
“So is Justin your boyfriend?” I asked around a bite of sandwich. “Not really…I mean…Justin isn’t a real boyfriend. We just kind of fool around,” he explained, making me really uncomfortable. “Oh,” I said and ate a fry. “Not like that,” he said and laughed. “We’re just kind of on and off,” I nodded. “Do you have a…someone?” he asked, blushing a little.
“I kind of have a girlfriend…” Kellin’s nose wrinkled adorably. “What do you mean ‘kind of’?” I shrugged, Kellin sipping the Pepsi. “I don’t really want to date her. We’ve been dating for a while, but I just don’t want to anymore. And to be honest, I prefer boys,” I admitted.
“You’re bisexual?” Kellin asked me and adjusted himself in my lap. “Mhm,” Kellin quirked his mouth to the side, thinking to himself. “Have you ever dated a boy?” I nodded. “Only once, though,” I ate the last few bites of my sandwich and motioned for Kellin to eat his. He took a bite obediently and then set it down again.
“Why didn’t you want to eat anything?” He looked away, out towards the parking lot. “Kell,” I said and took a hold of his chin, forcing him to look at me. “I just wasn’t hungry,” he said, trying to play it off. “Right,” I said sarcastically, “Kellin, do you have an eating disorder?” I asked, knowing it would be a touchy subject. “N-no. Why would you think that? You saw me eat,” I sighed quietly. “Kellin, you weren’t going to eat. And you looked really hurt and self-conscious when Justin said you were heavy. Oh, and by the way, you weigh nothing,” I said honestly.
Kellin shrugged. “It’s not really and eating disorder. I just don’t always eat as much as I should. But I do eat, you saw me. I don’t starve myself. I promise,” As bad as it sounded; I believed him. “Okay…but,” I whispered and took a hold of his wrist. “Don’t worry about that, Vic. I’ve been clean for a month. They just take a while to heal,” he said and ran his fingertips over the scars. “That’s good Kellin. I’m proud of you,” He smiled and put his arms around my neck, his arms resting on my shoulders. “Thanks,” he said softly. I nodded and closed the container, setting it on the floor next to our chair.
“Can I kiss you?” Kellin whispered, his face an inch from mine?” I glanced down to his pretty pink lips, and then back up to his eyes. I nodded and then his lips brushed against mine teasingly. They touched mine with the gentlest pressure, my mouth moving with his. My tongue touched his lower lip, licking it lightly, and asking for entrance, which he granted me. His tongue mingled with mine, not really fighting, just tasting. Kellin’s mouth tasted like cherry from the Pepsi with a hint of smokiness from the cigarette he had had. He pulled away first, smiling at me when our eyes met.
“You’re a good kisser,” he said softly and kissed me again. “You too…you’re lips are soft,” Kellin smiled and then rested his head on my shoulder, snuggling into my chest again.
I realized then that I was supposed to hate it here. But of course, I hadn’t expected the Bostwick family to have a hot, rebel son either. Maybe this place wouldn’t be so bad. Especially if I got to be around Kellin…. ~