You're My Way Home, You're My Backbone.

“Maybe I should just donate my body to the hospital; it would make all this travelling back and forth so much easier.” Brendon grumbled.

Glancing out the corner of his eye, Brendon noticed the hard line of Spencer’s lips.

“Sorry,” he apologised. “Just-I’m sick of the place.”

Spencer’s face softened into a frown, but still didn’t say anything, concentrating on driving the car. Brendon looked down at CD case in his lap and bit his lip sharply. He pulled one disc out carefully and swapped it for another, taking them out of Spencer’s perfect alphabetical order.

He was actually arranging them into the years they were released, and then by how much he liked them within that year group. Not that anyone other than him would know. It kept his hands and mind busy, that was the main thing.

“Sorry,” Brendon whispered.

Spencer sighed and as they pulled up to a red light, he looked over at Brendon , ignoring the fact he had only just finally fixed the order of his CDs and now Brendon was making a mess of them again.

“Don’t be,” He settled on saying. “We’re all tired of going to the hospital.”

“You guys do know you don’t have to come with me. I understand if you don’t.” Brendon said without looking up as he swapped a couple of discs.

“We know, but we want to.”

The light turned green and the car in front started moving. Spencer turned his attention back to the road, turning right. Brendon kept his head down. It felt like this is where he should be saying ‘thank you’ and didn’t, because it wasn’t really needed. He was sure by now the guys knew how much he appreciated it.

Chemo treatments was a lot better when he had someone there with him.

“Are you going in with me today?” Brendon asked as Spencer turned into the hospital carpark.
“No,” Spencer said simply, driving the car towards the drop off area. “He is.”

Spencer stopped the car and Brendon looked up, seeing Jon sitting on a bench of to the side of the main doors. Spencer grinned.

“Give us a call if you both need a ride home.”

Brendon nodded already sliding out of the car, leaving the CD case in the passenger seat. He waved to Spencer and watched as he drove away, before making his way over to Jon. Jon looked up from the newspaper he was reading and grinned widely.

Brendon plopped himself down on the empty spot next to him.

“How did you get here?” He asked taking a peak at the news headlines.

“Good morning to you too,” Jon chuckled. “I walked. It’s not really all that far from Ryan’s if you have breakfast at a cafe half way here.”

“G’morning. I was actually thinking of driving here, just to see if my leg is up to driving again. Found out the battery is dead and there wasn’t enough fuel to even get to the closest service station anyway.”

Jon laughed shaking his head. Brendon shrugged in a ‘what can you do?’ expression. Folding up the newspaper and standing, Jon smiled down at Brendon kicking his foot.

“Ready to get this over and done with?” He asked jerking his head towards the entrance.

Brendon sighed loudly and dramatically dragged himself off the bench. Jon linked his arm around Brendon’s as they started walking adding an extra bounce in his step. They got a few odd glances as they walked through the foyer and passed the emergence waiting area, but neither made a move to pull away.

“Would it cheer you up more if I brought you food after this?” Jon asked.

He shuffled in closer to Brendon to make room for a lady that was on crutches. Brendon shook his head.

“How about if you invite me over for the night, we’ll play guitar hero until one of us falls asleep?” Jon suggested.

“Wanna come over tonight?” Brendon smiled without missing a beat.

Jon smiled in reply and noticing an empty elevator about to close, rushed over to catch the door pulling Brendon alone with him. They got in and took the short ride up to the second floor.

Getting ready for the treatment and getting connected up to the chemo machine was routine now and Brendon let himself get pushed and poked around, until he was sitting in the chair. The nurse had all the bags and tubes and needles together fairly quickly, and before long she was tapping Brendon’s arm looking for a vain. Jon couldn’t watch her do that and looked up at Brendon’s face, watching his reaction.

Other then scrunching up his face in distaste as the nurse fussed with getting the needle inserted, Brendon just stared across the room.

It took three goes to get the needle in the right spot and Brendon had to assure the nurse that it was fine when she kept apologising.

“Are you good for me to start the treatment?” She asked, turning to the machine and pressing a few buttons.

“Yeah.” Brendon side with a nod.

There was a loud beep from the machine followed by a quieter one. It was scary to watch, but at the same time fascinating to see the cancer poison slowly travel down the tube and into his arm. Jon made a little noise and busied himself picking out the most comfortable chair in the room to sit on, over the far side of the room.

The lady double checked the machine as Jon brought the chair over to Brendon’s.

“Looks good. I’ll be back to check on you soon, if you need me, feel free to call or hit the nurse button on the wall besides you.”

She smiled and shuffled her way past the curtain that separated the nurse and patient areas. Brendon glanced at the machine, then over at Jon, who was pointy looking at his feet.

“Okay there?” Brendon asked reaching over and poking Jon on the shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry, it’s still a little freaky to watch,” Jon lifted his head up. “It’s just-“ he tried to explain and ended up pointing to the drip machine while making a face.

“I know what you mean.”

Brendon slid down in the chair getting comfortable for the long wait. Jon let his shoulder drop, relaxing a little and Brendon felt bad that Jon was so uncomfortable with this. He knew if he said anything Jon would deny it and argue to stay. Brendon didn’t have the energy to start something he wasn’t going to win.

“I forgot my puzzle book.” Brendon said instead suddenly realising. “I left it on the kitchen table.”

“I didn’t think to bring one or anything to read other than the paper.” Jon added thoughtfully.

“Or cards.” Brendon frowned.

“Or cards,” Jon repeated with a nod. “We are so horribly organised. I could have brought my laptop in too.”

Brendon hummed and looked around the room finding no magazines anywhere. He wondered if the nurse had any.

“Could’ve brought my guitar.” Jon added after a while, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair.

“That would give something for the nurses to gossip about; a cancer patient performing a mini acoustic concert while having chemo.” Brendon said, sounding more cheerful then bitter.

“I haven’t heard you sing for a while.”

Brendon blinked and looked over at Jon. Taking a moment to think about it, Brendon realised that Jon was right. Whenever the guys random pulled out the guitars and started playing, he mostly just listened. It was nice to sit back and just listen without have to participate, but he was starting to miss singing for people.

“Have you been singing lately?” Jon asked, sounding curious.

“Sometimes, mainly when I feel like it.” Brendon answered honestly.

“What about playing music, piano or whatever?”

Brendon paused again to think about it. If he had to think about it then he knew it must have been a long time.

“Not for a while. It’s not that I don’t want to, I dunno, just haven’t. Playing hasn’t been exactly been at the front of my mind.” He sighed. “Miss it though.”

Jon nodded, almost like he was agreeing but Brendon wasn’t sure. He didn’t ask though and looked around the room again for anything that they could do besides just talking. Maybe the nurses could have a board game hidden in their office.

He tried to think of games they could play and only come up with I Spy and Chinese Whispers, which was pointless in this bland room and with only two people.

“What are you planning on doing after you get the all clear?” Jon asked taking Brendon by total surprise. “Like when you’re well enough to tour again. You guys thinking about working on an album first?”

Brendon blinked, startled. Truth be told he has not thought about any of that, not even about getting the all clear from the doctor yet. He’s being trying to focus on the right now and not more than a couple of weeks ahead so he wouldn’t stress so much. And for his sanity.

Also to stop from keeping his hopes up too high just in case something happened to turn this all upside down and pair shaped.

“I...I haven’t given much thought to it,” Brendon muttered frowning a little. “I guess I would wait until I was well enough to tour then make that decision. We do have some stuff written for the next album, so I guess if we all agree we could finish that first before going back on tour.”

“Recording would be a good start, start slow and easy, work your way back up to touring.”

“Yeah, I think I’d like to do it like that.” Brendon nodded.

Jon smiled softly, reaching up to pat Brendon’s free hand that was resting on the arm of the chair.

After a moment he smile started turning shyer and uneasy. Brendon frowned confused.

“I hope you didn’t mind me asking that. I’ve been curious about it for a while.”

“Just a little surprising, that’s all.” Brendon smiled.

Jon’s smiled brightened all the way up again and Brendon mirrored it. A couple of minutes later the nurse came in to check the machine and left almost as quickly as she appeared. It wasn’t until she was out of sight that Brendon realised he forgot to ask for a magazine.

The two of them sat quietly for a while before Jon broke the silence.

“Wanna play Once Upon a Time?” Jon asked hopeful. “One word version?”

“Sure. Once,”

“Upon,”