Not Desperate

Chapter Ten
“A Moment of Truth”

When Michael came out of the building, I waved to him. He was looking around for me and finally looked my way. I started walking toward him hoping to intercede before he reached the truck. I wanted to explain the situation. I hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss on the head. “Hey sweetie. You have a good day?”
“Yeah. How come you’re not waiting in the car?”
As we walked to Daryl’s truck, I tried to explain. “I didn’t bring the car. A friend of mine drove me here. A new friend.”
“Who is she?”
“Not a she sweetheart, a he. His name is Daryl and I met him when I was at Kay’s last weekend.”
“Okay, so, is he your boyfriend?”
“Um, no. Just a friend. Be nice to him Michael. He’s a good guy.”
We got to the truck and I got him in the backseat. Daryl looked over his shoulder as I took his backpack and opened the passenger side door. I closed it and reminded Michael to put on his seatbelt. I glanced over at Daryl and said, “This is my son, Michael. Michael, this is Daryl.”
“Your new friend?” Michael asked.
“Yes, honey.”
“Nice to meet ya kid,” Daryl said and started the engine. It was quiet on the way home. When we entered the house, I heard the dryer ding. I had forgotten about our wet clothes. I was still so nervous. Daryl hadn’t said a word since he greeted my son, hadn’t even looked at me. Michael put his backpack on the couch and went into his room to change clothes. Daryl came up behind me, but didn’t touch me.
“He’s a cute kid. Bet he’s got a lot of girlfriends.”
I turned around and saw him smiling. Is that a good sign? “I’m sorry you had to find out like that. I wanted to see if there was a reason to tell you before I said anything.”
“I don’t care that ya got a kid,” he said and moved closer to me. “I was surprised, but not mad, if that’s what ya think. If he’s yours, he can’t be too bad. I bet you’re a great mom.”
“Thank you Daryl. I was a little anxious when I realized that you’d be meeting him today. That was unexpected.”
“No worries Yvonne. He’s not gonna run me off. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. I ain’t gonna let go of whatever this is just because ya got a kid.” Michael came walking into the kitchen and asked about dinner.
“Haven’t really thought about it. What would you like?” I said.
“Can we order pizza? Daryl likes pizza, right? You’re staying for dinner Daryl, okay.”
“That’s up to your mom, bud,” he said unsure of himself.
“You can stay, if you want. If you’re not sick of me already.”
He looked at me between long strands of shaggy hair and said, “Never.”
Michael tried to get Daryl to play one of his zombie video games with him. Daryl had never played a lot of video games, but he relented, and ended up kicking Michael’s ass. “If there’s ever a zombie apocalypse, I’m hiding behind Daryl,” he said.
“There won’t be room for the both of us,” I said. “You fend for yourself.” Daryl thought that was funny. “Don’t worry buddy. I’d protect both of ya. Wouldn’t let anything happen to you or your mom,” he said and winked at Michael. When nine thirty rolled around, I sent Michael to bed. He didn’t want to go, of course, but gave in after Daryl promised to give him a chance to redeem himself in the zombie apocalypse.
When Michael was asleep, Daryl and I went outside for a smoke. “I think he likes you,” I said quietly.
“I like him. He seems to be a lot like you; sweet, kind, cute.”
“I don’t know what to say Daryl. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard nice things like that. Well, that sounded sincere anyway.”
“I mean it Yvonne,” he said and took a step closer to me, backing me against the brick wall. “You’re kind, beautiful, smart and an awesome mom. Wish my mom could have been more like you.”
“Daryl, you’re gonna give me a complex if you don’t stop. This is just me. I’ve tried to change, but I can’t.”
“Why would you want to change? That your choice, or someone want to change you? Only an idiot wouldn’t see how great you are.”
I felt his eyes on me, then his hand on my neck pulling me to him. He hesitated, looking for approval he didn’t need. I looked into his eyes, dark and wanting, wondering if mine looked the same. I barely nodded my head and his lips attached to mine. It was slow, but hungry. I didn’t lie to him, it had been about four years since I’d been kissed properly, and now I’ve had three toe curling kisses in one day. My heart was beating in my throat. His tongue swept over my lips and caressed my mouth. His hand grabbed my hips and pulled me into him. My arms went around his neck. I would soon pass out from lack of oxygen, but I didn’t care. Finally, we separated. His lips were red and swollen as mine were also, I assumed. He put his forehead to mine still holding tight to my hips. Breathing heavily, he said, “Gotta go. I’ll call you. I’ll text you. I promise I’ll see you before I take Carol and Sophia camping.”
“Okay,” is the only word I could muster the energy to say? He slowly released his grip on me and kissed my forehead. I watched him walk to the truck and get in. We briefly looked at each other before he pulled out of the driveway and I watched him leave.
Goddamn! I cannot be in love with her! I kept saying that to myself the whole way home. By the time I got there, I knew that I was. I was already falling in love with her. No one had ever been as nice and good to me as she has been. Everyone I’d ever gotten close to or cared about had hurt me, both physically and emotionally, or left me. I won’t let that happen again. This feels different, this feels good. She makes me feel confident, makes me feel good about myself. She has no reason whatsoever to spend time with me, but she did. She let me touch her, kiss her and she kissed and touched me back. I’m not gonna let this go bad, I can’t. It would kill me.