30 Days

“Oh god, I'm sick of sleeping alone
You're salty like a summer day
Kiss the pain away
To your radio…”
- Backseat Serenade, All Time Low.

Yesterday had been perfect. It had been something out of a dream. After I’d walked Alex to his house, I’d pinched myself, just to make sure that I’d hadn’t dreamt it all up. But no, to my surprise and joy, it had actually happened.

And now I was in Alex’s bedroom with him, drinking his infamous hot chocolate – like seriously, his hot chocolate was out of this world – and watching meaningless TV. We were curled together, his side pressing against mine. That made me sure that this wasn’t another dream.

Since I figured out that I wanted him in more than just a best friend kind of way, my dreams had taken a turn for the expected. They were all about doing simple, ‘boyfriend’ things with him. Like going to the cinema and holding his hand through the entire movie, or just lying on a hill, looking at the stars while having the freedom to kiss him softly. It was always painful to wake up and know that those dreams that I loved and hated in equal measure would never some true.

Until now it seemed, I reflected, squeezing Alex’s hand with my free one. I smiled, before I’d came up with this idea to ‘court’ him. It was a good idea, and judging by the way he smiled at me and gently squeezed my hand back, it was working.

But I’m not going to think about that right now, when it could easily turn out that it’s just my brain exaggerating Alex’s behaviour so I think that he’s falling for me when in actual fact he’s not.

“What you thinking about?” Alex asked quietly, rubbing a finger across the back of my hand.

I smiled, “Nothing important Lex.”

He gave me a look which said that he wasn’t convinced. I sighed.

“Just thinking… ‘bout me doing this courting thing…” I said, shrugging my shoulders helplessly, “And I just dunno…”

Alex’s reply was quiet as I heard him put his mug down, “Whether or not it’s working?”

I blushed and ducked my head, “Well…yes. But I don’t want to force you to answer before Christmas.”

“It’s ok,” He said, “I’ve got to admit that it is nice, having someone who cares about me giving me gifts and the like. It really is. And I don’t want to give you an answer before I’m ready to give one.”

After yesterday, Alex indirectly saying that he would have an answer for me on Christmas Day made me grin widely. I could only hope that it would be a good one – as in one that said yes he would be my boyfriend. Fuck, I hoped that would be his answer when Christmas came around.

“Jack?”

“Yeah Lex?” I said, looking at him and silently admiring his glowing hair. He looked perfect no matter what he was doing.

“I…enjoyed that kiss yesterday. More than I had expected to.”

My heartbeat increased and I managed to stutter out, “O-oh yeah?”

Alex nodded.

Before I could say anything else, Alex’s Mum was yelling up the stairs that my Mum was here. I remembered that I was going Christmas shopping with her.

I sighed, but as I left Alex’s room, I gathered my courage and pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek. He was left stunned as I quickly darted out of his room.