Lights

Every night you walk me to my car, your kiss is the sweetest warmest touch I close my eyes hoping I can keep the sweet feeling on me until I curl up in bed. You wrap your arms around me and I feel pulled into your warm chest, I don't want to let go. I want to run back up stairs get undressed and fall asleep together in your bed. You must be reading my mind as I think such thoughts because within seconds you leave a kiss on my forehead and pull away and sit me up in my car. I know the routine from here. I turn my legs to the pedals you shut my door and I turn my car on. the engine comes to life as I put in the clutch and turn the key. I roll down my window even though we are both freezing, your nose is red and your breath is so warm as we pull in closer for our final kiss of the night. I pull my lights on as you pull away and going in reverse makes me want to park and run upstairs again. But I cant. I know I won't so I put it in first and head home.
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I open the door, no one is up. I walk to my room quietly, I text you to let you know I am home safe. I want to call you and jump in bed. I wish I brought you home with me to cuddle and fall asleep in your arms. I have a princess bed, in the winter it feels even more like that because of the big fluffy blanket I wish you were under that warm fluffy blanket with me to fall asleep side by side. My phone buzzes, the text reads I'm ready when you are. I tear my jeans off and slip my sweats on, I throw the covers back, I bend over the bed rummaging through my purse getting my head phones ready for our nightly talks. I slide my legs between the sheets, I toss my body weight all to my right side the blankets and pillows engulf me. I pull all my chargers and wires and align them so I don't strangle myself in my sleep and I open my phone to call you. When you answer I have the biggest smile on my face and I feel warm, I just want to keep telling you I love you. I love you so much. I want you to know that. I don't want you to ever doubt that. I just want to keep saying I love you. I know I wont be able to keep telling you, I'm loosing the power to keep my eyes open and my thoughts straight but I want to tell you I love you.