I Still Get Butterflies

Things didn't get better for Heather, her friend died and the charges became more serious. I had studied enough to know she was in a lot of trouble and the was nothing I could do.
The boys were still living with Matt since he had two spear rooms in his house, I was there every day though and even slept over at times.

One day she called both me and Matt over, she had some business to discuss.
If I hadn't been sitting when she told me about her and Andy's wishes I would've fallen flat on my ass; she wanted me and Matt to take care of the boys whilst she was in prison.
All I could think of was why would they decide something like that, it felt so random.
We would be contacted by a lawyer to sign some papers stating that we would be the boys legal guardians.
I spaced out for a while wondering why the two of us had been chosen.

"Can I have a minute alone with Heather?" I asked when I came back into reality and noticed that there was just two minutes until visiting was over.
"Of course" Matt said standing and left.
When he was out of earshot I asked the nagging question "Why did you choose us as guardians?"
"For many reasons, one is the fact that you already have a child to take care of and we didn't want to burden you with two more" she said
"I could've managed" I argued.
"We knew that but didn't want to put you in that situation" Heather reasoned and continued "Also Andy wanted you to see what a good guy Matt is."
"That makes no sense" I said.
"Sometimes he didn't make sense, you know that" she said.
She was right.
"I know some people blame Matt for Andy's death but I hope that you can make this work" she said looking hopeful.
I was surprised she thought I blamed Matt, I could never do that. Both Heather and I knew that being a firefighter had its dangers.
"I don't blame Matt, I've never blamed him" I said
"Good, then there's no problem here" she said.
I could see how the worries of her situation had worn her out so I didn't have the heart to argue with mer and make things worse so I just nodded.
"Visiting is over" a guard shouted and the visitors said good bye and started moving towards the doors.
"Bye, I'll see you next week" I said before join the others that were leaving.
Matt was waiting in the other room.
We walked outside in silence and it was killing me, I needed to start some kind of conversation about what had just happened but I didn't know how.

We got in the car and drove away from the prison.
"If we're gonna do this we need to set up a plan how to make it work and ground rules for the boys" I finally got something said.
"I agree" Matt said "I have a few hours before shift now if you wanna talk it over"
"Sounds good, I'll just have to get Caiden from daycare and we'll be all set." I said.
"You wanna go get him now?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, I just need to get the car seat" I replied.
"We'll swing by it then" Matt said.
"He's gonna be so happy to see that you're with me" I said smiling getting that familiar feeling of happiness in my stomach.
Few minutes later we were at the daycare where all children were playing outside.
"Matty" Caiden shouted when we closed the gate behind us and he came running over.
Matt caught him mid air and lifted him up over his head, Caiden was laughing so hard and the smile on his face was one I only ask when he was with Matt. It pained me to not have a father figure in his life, I'd never let Justin back into our lives again and Hank didn't have enough time on his hands to be there enough. Then again hearing what he had done to Matt I wasn't sure I wanted him around more that one weekend a month.
"You ready to go Caiden?" I asked.
"Is Matt coming with us?" He asked
"Actually we're going to his place and in his truck" I said and Caiden's eyes grew wide.
When Matt sat him down he hurried inside to get his backpack.
One of the older daycare workers came up to us, she took one look at Matt and a big smile grew on her face. She was known for having a strong opinion when it came to single parents, so my guess was that she thought I had finally gotten myself a man.
"Good day miss Darden" she said.
"Good day Mrs Samders" I politely greeted the old hag.
"And who is this gentleman?" She asked, she was also know not to beat around the bush when she wanted to know something that curious old hag.
"This is my friend Matt Casey" I introduced him, and immediately her smile vanished.
"Nice to meet you Mr Casey" She said giving him a warm smile "It's good to see that Caiden has some sort of male role model in his life"
I had to bite my tongue trying to not say something spiteful back but thankfully Matt opened his mouth "He has many of those at Station 51".
Her jaw almost dropped to the ground when she realized that this man was actually a firefighter.
Then Caiden came running and we finally got to leave.
"See you tomorrow mrs Samders" I said trying to sound really sweet whilst picking my boy up.
When we walked away Matt put his arm around me and the wish that this could be something more than friendship once again hit me.
"Did you have a good day sweetie?" I asked whilst securing him in his car seat.
"Yes, we fingerprinted" Caiden said showing a stain on his pants.
"That's nice, did you like it?" I asked.
"Yes it was fun" he said beaming with happiness.
"What did you paint?" Matt asked turning his head back to look at the boy.
"A dog" Caiden answered.
"What kind of dog?" I asked getting in the passenger seat.
"A station puppy" he said.
"Like for the fire station where Matt works?" I asked.
He nodded "Like the ones they have in cartoons"
"The spotted ones?" Matt asked and Caiden nodded.
"A Dalmatian?" I asked.
"Yes" Caiden aid looking really proud.
"I wanna see that painting some day buddy" Matt said and started the car.

Caiden fell asleep in the car so Matt helped me to get him inside and into his bedroom so he could sleep.
"Guess he missed nap time" I said knowing how hard it was for the daycare to get him to sleep.
"Too much excitement at the daycare?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, I think he thinks he'll miss something if he takes a nap so I let him sleep once we come home" I explained.
"I'll go get the coffee started and then we can talk" Matt said leaving.
I sat down beside Caiden and stroked his head a few times, oh how I loved this little boy. I didn't care that I had to raise him alone, I knew it was for the best to keep Justin away besides I wasn't entirely alone I had the guys at the station.
I silently exited the room leaving the door ajar so I could hear him if he woke up.
"Here you go" Matt said handing me a cup of stemming coffee "You wanted milk in yours right?"
"Yeah" I said looking into the cup noticing he had already poured me some.
We sat down at the table.
"I think we should continue like we've been doing this past week" Matt suggested "I think it's been working just fine"
"I agree, no use in changing a system that works" I said.
"However I've been thinking about you and Caiden" Matt said.
"Yeah, what about us?" I asked slightly curious to what he had been thinking.
"The commuting between here and your apartment must be very stressful and hard work for you especially with Caiden." He started "So I was thinking if you wanted to move in her with me, I think it's a good idea getting you out of that small cramped apartment and this house is too big for just me."
I got butterflies in my stomach thinking about living here with Matt and he was right this place would be so much better for me and Caiden.
Caiden would have a great role model in his life even though me and Matt weren't a couple, how could I say no to this.
I must've been quiet for too long because Matt spoke up "It's ok if you don't think it's a good idea, it was just a suggestion.I was just thinking of ways to make things easier"
"I don't think it's a bad idea, I've been wanting to find some better living arrangements for us a while now" I said "and I couldn't think of a better role model for Caiden and the other two than you"
"Well it's settled then I guess" Matt aid looking really happy "You give notice to your landlord, we move your stuff here and we make the best we can out of this situation"
"Sounds good to me" I said smiling "Now to the rules"