The Book of Me and You

John couldn’t wait any longer. He convinced himself that he gave her enough time, which of course wasn’t true, but he really needed to see her. He hated the fact that Hayley still had power over his emotions. They say it’s hard to forget your first love. There was a time when Hayley wasn’t just John’s first love but she was his everything. And as these past days passed by he started to miss her company. They would text each other, but Hayley refused to see him. At first John really wanted to believe that she was just busy taking care of Kevin, but once he realized that Hayley went out for coffee with Halvo he got mad.

So now John found himself standing in front of her house, knocking lightly on the door. Hayley’s mother greeted him politely, and asked what he wanted.

“I’m looking for Hayley…She hasn’t replied to a couple of my texts so I was worried.” He tried not to sound as pathetic as he felt. Gabrielle smiled at him nicely, not showing the pity she felt for that poor boy, who was still desperately in love with her daughter. Only if he knew, that she’s already thinking about leaving.

“Oh dear, you just missed her. She said she’s going for walk.” She answered to John, who’s smile faded at Gabrielle’s words.

“Oh…Okay…Thank you, Gabrielle.”

“If you’re fast enough, you might catch up to her.” Gabrielle showed the direction where Hayley started walking just ten minutes ago, and John wasted no time following her path.

It didn’t take long for him see her fragile yet beautiful figure walking down the street. John slowed down and started to walk next to her so casually that it took her a couple seconds to notice him.

“John? What are you doing here?” She stopped and looked at him confused.

“Oh you know…I was just walking down the street looking for some trouble.” He smirked at her, and started walking. So he’s playing the cool guy.

“I think you found it.” She smiled and they were now walking quite close to each other.

“So where are you headed, Miss Trouble?” He asked her while they were slowly walking towards the park. It wasn’t just any park. It was theirs. John and Hayley shared a lot of sweet memories thanks to that park.

“I believe you already know that, John.” She quickly looked at his face than turned away again. She suddenly felt very shy around him, maybe because she knew that John realized she’s been avoiding his company. And probably Eric couldn’t keep their secret meet for a coffee a secret.

“Do you mind if I join you, or are you still ignoring me?” John acted calmly. He was afraid of scaring Hayley away again. She was like a scared deer, and he didn’t want to make her run back to the woods, but he also needed to talk to her.

“Even if I said no, you would follow me, and interrogate me until I gave you all the answers.” Sooner or later we have to talk about it…at least now we are civil. She smiled at him while they entered the park and went off to search for an empty bench. “So, when will you ask me why I haven’t replied? Will you ask some ‘how you doing’ questions first to loosen up?”

“Well, first I didn’t even want to ask you that…I just wanted to scream at you for so many reasons.” John sat down on the nearest bench and Hayley copied his actions. They were close enough to touch if they wanted, but far enough to have their personal space.

“What changed you mind then?” Hayley looked up from her lap and studied his face but got lost in John’s eyes.

“I don’t know. I guess I just saw you and all the anger went away…and not just the anger I felt for you not talking to me…Hayley…I can’t stay mad at you for what you did back then.” He reached for her fingers and she let him hold her hand in his. “I know, that you haven’t forgotten the things I did and I understand…but I’m willing to do anything to get you back into my life…I want to be with you, or just be your friend again… or anything at all.”

“Wow…” was all she could manage to say. Hayley wasn’t expecting from this from John. She knew they kind of didn’t hate each other, and shared a couple sweet kisses but she really thought these moments were temporary. “I really don’t know what to say, John.”

“Say that you give us a chance.”

“I… I just need some time I guess.”

“All right. All I’m asking is when I call you please answer me and don’t push me away, because I won’t give up on you again, Hales.” He scooted closer to her so now their thighs were touching, and she could almost feel his breath on her skin. “I’ll try to fix this…to fix…us.”

She looked into his eyes and felt the butterflies in her stomach come to life again, those butterflies which were thought to be dead for so long. Hayley wasn’t thinking at that moment, something she tended to do around John. When she was with him, everything came so naturally and she never had to think about her actions. So this is what happened next. She leaned in, and gave John a soft, innocent kiss on his lips. He kissed her back without hesitation, and soon the once soft peck on the mouth turned out into a passionate real kiss filled with emotions.

John pulled away; resting his forehead on hers and caressing her face and neck with his hands. They just couldn’t stop smiling.

“God, this is so weird.” Hayley said still leaning into John, putting her hands on his shoulder.

“Is it?” He asked back a bit of worry in his voice. For him it felt right…As if those five years apart never even happened.

“Yes…It’s weird because it’s not weird.” She looked at his now relieved face and giggled. “Although we have a lot to figure out, I think you’re right and we should fix us. I just…I’m in a different place now, John…There will be days when I’ll push you away, but please don’t leave me. Because if we start doing this, I need to know that you’re all in. “

“I’m all in, baby. I need you just as much as you need me. We fucked up together; maybe we can fix us together.” He leaned in and kissed her softly, leaving his lips on hers for a few seconds.

John and Hayley sat there on the bench for hours. They agreed not to talk about the past, at least not for now. They just enjoyed each other’s company, and tried not to think about reality. Because in reality nothing was okay.

You would’ve think that after five years they’d change and would never make the same mistakes again. But reality is cruel. It doesn’t care about you, or anyone else. Reality doesn’t give you hope. It gives you a chance to make a decision. That day in the park, Hayley and John subconsciously decided, but their reality was nothing but an illusion.