Baby, Please Come Home

I crawled out of bed to finally take a shower and maybe pull myself together a bit. I couldn’t wait around forever; especially if I looked like shit.
The water felt nice, although it didn’t help my worrying. What if he wanted a divorce? I didn’t think that I could live without Vic. I was a naturally dependent person, and he had been there for me for as long as I could remember.
I sighed and quickly finished my shower and dressed in the neatest lazy clothes that I could find, and hoped that I didn’t look like a mess.
It made my heart hurt, realizing that I had on one of Vic’s shirts. I always felt so comfortable and loved when I wore them; now I just felt lonely.
And I was lonely. The entire apartment felt empty and cold without him, like a haunted shadow of him was following me around. My thoughts wandered to him every time I looked at something.
I sighed and curled up on the couch, trying not to cry again. I had already spent so much time crying. ~

3 weeks later

“Hi, um…I know I shouldn’t be calling you…. I know you said that you wanted space, I just—I miss you. I’m sorry for everything that I said and, and I just miss you so much. Please come home,” I choked. “Um, I’m sorry. I won't call you anymore; I—I know you don’t want to talk to me—I don’t even know if you’ll listen to this,” I hated myself for crying again. “I love you,”
I dropped my phone and started balling my eyes out for the hundredth time this month. I sat there for a while, sobbing to myself before finally deciding to go out.
I’d have to pay bills on Friday, so I’d have to find a job. I had quit mine a few months ago when Vic got promoted, the two of us having planned on adopting.
So much for that….

“HI, what can I get for you?” the perky girl at the counter asked. “Um, I was wondering if you’re hiring?” I asked quietly, not in the mood for her happiness.
“I’m not sure, let me go ask for you,” I nodded a little and looked down at the counter as she walked away.
There weren’t many people in the shop, and I was grateful for it. I honestly didn’t want to be around anyone.
“We’re not technically hiring, but I did get you an application. Our manager said that he could use another worker, so just fill that out and bring it back whenever,” the girl said and slid a small packet to me.
“Thank you,” I took the set of papers and walked out of the shop, trying to think of somewhere else to apply. I was kind of hoping that my favorite restaurant would be hiring, but I knew Vic had taken to it, and he usually had business meetings there.
I chewed my lip nervously, debating whether or not to go there. They paid really well and it was probably my only chance of paying our rent by myself.
Dammit.
I walked down the street a few blocks until I got to the restaurant, begging every possible god there was that he wouldn’t be here.
I walked in, scanning the place before I approached the desk. “Hey Kellin,” Alex said, familiar with Vic and I. “Uh, hey,” He smiled at me and set his bar towel down.
“Are you reserving a table or something?” I shook my head and leant against the counter.
“No, um, I was wondering if you were hiring?” he grinned and nodded. “Yeah, what for? Vic didn’t get laid off did he?” I shook my head again, trying not to flinch at the sound of his name.
“No, um, we’re separated,” I said softly, the words tasting bitter in my mouth. I physically hurt to say them.
“Oh my god Kellin, I’m so sorry. I hope it works out.” I fake smiled and nodded a little.
“Yeah me too…” Alex straightened up then, a sympathetic smile on his face. “I’ll go ask okay, I’m sure I could get a good word in for you,”
I smiled gratefully, appreciating what he was doing for me. Alex had known Vic and I since we were dating, and it really hurt to have to tell him we had split up. It hurt to even think it. I looked around a while and sighed, thankful that Vic wasn’t here. I really didn’t want to break down here.
“Hey, Rian said he’d love to hire you. Just fill this out and I’ll go give it to him,”
I nodded and sat down in one of the stools, Alex handing me a pen.
I filled out all of the necessary information and then answered the questions asking why I wanted to work here and where I had worked before.
I had waited tables at a diner for three and a half years, so at least I was qualified…. “Um, here,” I said and handed it back to him. “Cool,” Alex took the packet from me and then disappeared behind the kitchen door again. I waited for him to return, a smile on his face.
“You have a job if you can start tomorrow,” I smiled back weakly and nodded. “Sure, what time?” I asked.
“12 to 5,” I promised that I would be here and quickly left after he gave me a couple of work shirts.
At least I would have a reason to get out of bed now…. ~

I sighed and looked myself over in the mirror. I had on a pair of black skinny jeans and a matching tie, along with one of the white dress shirts Alex had given me.
The sleeves were rolled to elbows and the red Dawson’s was sewn onto the left side of my chest in cursive.
I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed my coat, pulling it on. Vic hadn’t called me back, and it was starting to drive me mad. I didn’t even know if he listened to them….
It was only a ten minute walk to work, and I was twenty minutes early anyways.
I set my coat on a rack in the far side of the kitchen, looking for Alex. “Oh hey,” he said as he saw me, a smile on his lips. “Hi,” He walked over, his blond hair falling into his eyes.
“You know how to wait tables, right?” I nodded silently. “Great, then you’ll be working tables fifteen to twenty. They’re the ones in the back lounge.” I nodded again.
“The trays are over there,” he said and pointed, “Orders go there. And dished go there,” I looked at each of the places he pointed to, making sure I remembered them.
“Oh and you pick up orders there,” he said finally and pointed to a long, metal table with a row of numbers handing from the pot rack. “There are aprons, pens, and notepads over with the trays too. Oh, I almost forgot.” He pulled a little pin out of his own apron and then stuck it through the two circles on my chest. I looked down at it and then back up at him, smiling a tiny bit. “Got it?” he asked. “Mhm…do I start now?” Alex nodded this time and gently pushed me towards the door.
I walked out to the section I was supposed to be working, finding only one of the five tables filled.
There were three business-men sitting around the table, talking amicably as they read through their menus.
“Hi, I’m Kellin and I’ll be you’re waiter today,” I said, falsely pleasant as I approached them.
They all looked me over and then at each other. “We’re still waiting for two others,” One of them said.
“That’s fine. Could I start you three with drinks, or would you like to wait?” They all mumbled some things to each other before looking back at me.
“We’ll wait,” one said. “Alright, just let me know if you need anything,” I said and walked out of the lounge. I decided to help Alex at the bar, cleaning it for him.
“What’s up?” he asked and mixed a few orders, setting them on a tray for someone. “There a re still two people they’re waiting for so they want to wait to order anything.” He nodded a little and handed the full tray of drinks to a girl dressed similarly to us.
“Hills, please,” someone said, they’re voice faint. “Ah, yes, in the lounge. Follow me please,” I sighed and set the towel down, waiting a few minutes before I went back to the lounge. My heart stopped as I saw who the other two people were; Vic and Jaime.
Oh no…. Vic spotted me before I had even moved, the courteous smile leaving his face. I watched him stand up and walk over to me, a frown on his lips. “What are you doing here?” he asked, kind of harshly.
I could barely comprehend his words, too stunned over the fact that he was here. “Um…I—I got a job here,” I stuttered. “What? Why?” he asked.
“I, um, I didn’t know if you would be coming home soon, and the bills are due, so—“Kellin, I’ll still pay the bills and rent. You didn’t have to get a fucking job,”
I stared down at the floor, feeling like a child who’d been caught doing something bad. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Would you stop? I get that you’re sorry, okay? But I asked for space, and you working here isn’t really going to give me that. I mean—you know that I have meetings here. What were you thinking?” I just shrugged and continued to stare.
Vic sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Did you get a job here just to try and see me?” he asked incredulously.
“W-what? No. I just—“Right,” he didn’t sound like he believed me. “Just, go back to work or whatever. I’ll be over tonight to talk. And could we have another waiter please?”
I nodded and stood there for a minute, watching him walk away from me.
I walked over to Alex, telling him that they had requested a different waiter. He gave me a sad smile and asked a waitress to switch with me; Alicia.
“Sure, I don’t mind. There’s only two tables filled right now,” she said and handed me the order she was going to take in. I smiled and thanked her, taking it back to the kitchen. ~

Vic came over at almost eight, a wary look on his face as he walked in. “Hi,” he sad softly. “Hi…are you hungry?” he shook his head and set his coat down on the chair.
“Kellin…,” he stared slowly, making my heart race. I was so afraid of what he might say. “I think…maybe I should move out. Like, completely,”
I sucked my breath in sharply, feeling like I had just been punched. “Okay,” I whispered, fighting off the tears that were threatening to spill over.
“Can I ask why?” He nodded and sighed. “It’s just not working. I—we’re not the same anymore Kellin. We’re different than when we got married and the last few months have honestly been horrible,”
I flinched, hating that I had been making him so miserable and didn’t even know it. “You don’t even want to try and fix it?” I asked incredulously.
“I didn’t say that—“But you didn’t mention it either,” Vic frowned and shook his head. “I don’t know what I think, but I don’t think that I can live here with you practically begging me to fix things all the time,” he said.
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop, I promise,” I said desperately. “Don’t do that,” he said, “Please don’t beg me to stay. It—please just stop. I can’t anymore,”
I looked down at the floor, trying to hide how broken I felt. “What are you saying?” I whispered. It was silent for a minute, the tension hanging thick around us.
“I want a divorce,” I let the tears fall over, hoping he couldn’t see them. My whole world was crumbling.
“Kellin, please say something,” he asked. “What do you want me to say? That I’m okay with that? Because I’m not,” I cried, looking at him.
“I love you and I don’t want to get divorced Vic, so what is it you want to hear?” He shook his head, looking like he might cry too.
“I don’t know, just please stop crying,” he pleaded. I choked back a sob and rubbed at my eyes uselessly.
“How? How am I supposed to stop crying when you don’t want me anymore?” I asked and tried to walk past him.
He caught my waist, pulling me against his chest as I cried. I sobbed into his shirt, my heart aching at the thought of him leaving me.
Vic let go after a while, his cheeks wet too. “I’ll my things out by the end of the week,” ~