Lone Wolf.

It felt like weeks that I haven't talked to Serena, even though it's really just been Friday and the weekend. But just that was enough to drive me insane. I had tried calling her, and even texting her, pleading that we could talk things out. She ignored me of course, so I'm bothering her less about it in order to not get on her nerves.
But by Tuesday, I force myself to stop by her house in the morning, praying she hadn't left for work so I didn't have to borrow her at the bookstore. Her dad might get a little suspicious as to why I'd shown up, but I'd take my chances.
Hands stuffed in my pockets, I trudge up the front steps before knocking. What would I even say to her? What if she just slammed the door in my face? I really didn't understand why she'd gotten so upset; I just wanted an explanation so I could understand.
To my surprise, her brother answers with a perplexed look, half steeled. "John. Odd seeing you here this early," Jackson muses, his stormy blue eyes boring into me.
I clear my throat as I rub my neck. "Uh, yeah. Sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if Serena-"
"She's not home," he says, cutting me off.
"Oh. Well, does she seem alright? Has she acted off lately?" I press, hoping that whatever I'd said hadn't had some more toxic effect.
He raises an eyebrows, more than prepared to play on the defense for his sister. "Why? Why would she be? Something I don't know about, O'Callaghan?"
"No! I was just-wait.." Did he just fucking use my last name? "How'd you know my last name?"
His lips twitch. "My dad's a cop, buddy. I was trying to dig up dirt." He leans in with an almost exuberant confidence as his chest puffs out. "I look out for Re, and that's not changing anytime soon," he adds in a low voice. It almost seemed like a threat.
I can't help but sneer. "Maybe you should have done that with her last boyfriend."
His eyes narrow but I turn my back to him, walking back to my truck. For a short second I hear the lightest rumble of a growl.
~
I had no where else to go but to Bartlett to clear my mind.
The morning had led to me stopping outside the bookstore - not close enough for her to actually see me, but I stood around for a bit contemplating whether or not it would be a good time. After the encounter with her brother, I didn't want him badmouthing me to her. But she knew me better than to act like a bigshot to her family.
So I left it alone.
By the time the sun had begun to lower in the sky, I was just drying off after a quick bath. I ran like the wind all afternoon, as if I could somehow leave my troubles behind. If only that were possible.
Just as I'm about to slip my shirt over my head, I sense the bustling before I could hear it. And I could smell that damp earthy scent that's been invading my mind since last week, along with the idea that there were...others.
The black coat that appears slowly behind the bushes makes me jump, despite its cautious approach. Holy shit.
I'd been right about what I saw. Standing right before me, was a dark-haired wolf, fur as black as its wet nose. My hairs stand on end as if on instinct, wanting to circle around the pointed eared creature to decide if it was real. In the back of my head I note that Serena would have gotten out of work at this time. I feel guilty for thinking it, but those blue eyes had my heart racing.
It (she?) watched me as if I was dangerous, any more dangerous than a human encountering a regular wolf. She takes a couple more steps closer, her movements too graceful for that of a male. I would know.
"Is it you?" I breathe, the words tumbling out of my mouth, not knowing what else to say. If it was her, by any slim chance, maybe this could be our chance to talk.
But the moment I've spoken, she's turned her body and darted back to where she come from. My feet move before my brain could even order them to. I knew I couldn't let her get away this time. I had to get a hold of her. I had to reach her.
I bolt toward the trees again, attempting to catch up to the dark figure that was running from me like I was the plague. In human form I could hardly catch up to her, racing through the land like a shadow, black head to toe. There was no doubt in my mind now what it was I saw before. Its tail whipped behind it as it takes off in a dash, zigzagging through bushes trying to derail me. I'd never catch it at this rate.
I stop for the quickest moment to remove my jeans, kicking them off hastily before letting the heat pulse through me like an injection. My bones shudder and a growl rips from my throat as I pounce on the dirt, my legs lifting off the air to reach where I last saw her.
But she was gone. She'd disappeared like a wisp of smoke.
I huff to catch my breath, my nails digging into the ground in defeat.
How was I ever going to get her to open up to me? Why couldn't she trust me with this?
I walk back to the lake side with my shoulders slumped, wanting to find a reason that she's hid this from me. If she realized I was a wolf, why didn't she jump at the chance to tell me who she really was? I out of all people would have accepted her with open arms, just as she did me.
I'd wanted to know the truth, but now that I found it, I can't help but want to take it all back.
~
I still called her. But just as I expected, she ignored them and forwarded it to voicemail. I felt all kinds of crushed. Had I fucked up by chasing after her? Should I have just left it well enough alone?
The next day is a boring damn haze, one that passes quickly without me even realizing, much to my relief. Each meal I eat is small, and the guys don't dare question why I wasn't reacting to any of their crude jokes during practice. As soon as rehearsal was over, I get into my truck and drive right past the house and follow the road to Bartlett.
Maybe I should just go missing. That would be one hell of a story in the music world: frontman John O'Callaghan from the Maine nowhere to be found. What would be the point of living a life that had become a lie? What was I anymore? Animal ? Man? Which one was I meant to be?
That's all I wanted to know. That's what I had hoped to find out when I realized there was another wolf lurking about. I thought I could ask it questions, of how it came to be, if its transition was the same as mine, or if it had been different. But shit just had to be more complicated. It had to be Serena.
It didn't have to be complicated, but somehow, it was. This had all become one big mess and I didn't fucking understand any of it.
By the time I park in my regular secluded spot, I'm seething. I let out a frustrated cry and slam on the wheel. For once things had been okay. They'd been more than okay. I'd met Serena and with one look, she'd melted my heart into a shape that could easily fit in her palm.
Or paw.
"Fuck," I curse under my breath, storming out of my truck and closing the door with a loud bang. I hope that didn't break the hinges.
My spine was tense and aching, but I didn't give myself the satisfaction of setting it free. No. I didn't want to be this...this thing I didn't understand anymore. I wanted to rip the two sides separate, not have to deal with this constant need and even more constant burning question on why I could never feel whole.
The ringing in my pocket seems almost quiet in breaking the silence around me. For a moment, I had almost forgotten I was here.
I dig it out, feeling my chest constrict at her name on the screen. Great.
Running a hand over my face, I swallow for composure and answer. "Hello?"
"I...I talked to Jackson."
Jackson? Why was she bringing up Jackson? Was she seriously going to act oblivious, as if yesterday never happened?
"What did he say," I ask flatly, not sure how else to reply.
She sighs. "He said you came to see me. To see if I was alright."
"Yeah."
"You didn't have to do that."
My fists clench, feeling blood bubbling in my veins. "Yeah, well, I didn't exactly know what else to do since you won't talk to me."
"I know. And I'm sorry."
I can't help but feel calmer, her voice calming and letting my anger subside. I feel almost guilty for feeling mad and I drop down onto the short boulder with a huff. "You've just been so short with me, Ser."
"John, I know," she whispers. "I feel horrible about the way I acted. You were just trying to find out for your own good and I treated you like some villain. I'm sorry I can be so bitchy-"
I chuckle softly, relieved that she was finally willing to talk. It's all I'd asked for.
Just as she's saying something, I grow more aware of the smell of the leaves on the ground. Their fresh abundance fills my nostrils.
Until I look up.
The black heap was crouched near the bushes, with only its forelegs showing and its ears laying flat in alert. It rises to full stance and its blue irises are watchful. My mouth goes dry.
It was staring right at me.
"I know I kind of overreacted about it, and I have my reasons," Serena rambles on in a rushed tone into my ear, "But I sweat I'm not whatever you saw. You have to believe me. That probably sounds sketchy-"
"Ser," I say in a low voice. "Let me call you back."
I hear the concern dripping from her words. "Wh-What? Is everything okay? John, why, what's-"
"We'll talk later, okay?" I mumble, slowly dropping my phone away. My brain felt stunned. I feel like I've run into a brick wall, only to find out it wasn't brick at all; just cold hard steel.
I kneel carefully, and when it doesn't move, I reach out a hand. I feel a jump in the pit of my stomach when it moves out from the bushes, its padded feet not making a sound. I'm too afraid that it'll take off again to talk. Instead, I merely swallow and hold its gaze, searching for something, anything in its deep blue eyes.
It nuzzles its face into my hand and I suck in a breath. I force myself to stroke its black fur, as soft as snow but as warm as the earth. It gives me a nod, as if trusting I'll understand.
And just like that, it leaves.
I have a hard time moving before stumbling to my feet, my knees wobbling as I run back to the truck and back out of the forest, swiveling onto the road and stepping on the gas.
My thoughts race as fast as my tires, and soon I'm parked in front of Serena's driveway, striding up the steps and hastily knocking until someone answers. To my disliking, it's Jackson. "Oh you again. Now what do-"
I brush past him, not caring that their father might be right around the corner. I had to see Ser.
She gasps when I burst into the room. "John. Oh my God, you're okay-"
I lean over, holding her face in my hands. Her eyes are wide, almost frightened, and-
Completely baffled.
It's then that I decide to scan the various photos she had on her dresser taped to her mirror. I look at them one by one, before settling on the one of her out on a picnic table, young and happy as she helps her father set out plates. I couldn't see the face of the woman buried in her little girl's neck and find the one right next to it, Serena in floaties apparently learning to swim. From across the way, a woman with her matching black hair and identical blue eyes smiles over at her with her legs dipped in the water, her square shoulders protective.
That was it. The dark wolf.