24 Days

We remained silent for the next 5 minutes after he'd asked me where do I live.
"Mallory, Can I ask you something?" Dice faintly said.
"What is it?" I turned to him.
"I cannot help but to think that you're not normal" He grinned.
"That's very nice of you" I rolled my eyes.
"No no no" He chuckled "Not in a bad way, But in a good way, You're very different, The way that you take care of Alexa like she's your own sister"
"She is like my sister" I spoke.
"One thing though" He thought.
"What?"
"Why don't you have any good memories?" He asked.
"It's just personal" I replied.
"You know, It's not good repressing those memories, Even if you're depressed" He said.
"Okay! Stop the car" I demanded.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way" He quickly said.
"Stop the fucking car!" I demanded but with a higher tone.
"Okay!" He shouted and stopped the car on the side of the street.
I quickly opened the door and got out, Tears were trying to escape my eyes, This was a bad idea.
"And you're going to walk home I suppose?" He shouted from the car.
"Yes!" I turned around.
He left the car and followed me.
"Mallory!" He called.
I kept walking.
"Mallory!" He was walking beside me now.
"Mallory! Won't you fucking look at me!" He shouted.
"What?" I turned to him.
"You know that I didn't mean it that way" He sighed.
"What did you mean then? Huh?, Do you think that just because you're too confident with yourself you can make people feel bad about themselves? Well listen to me Dice or whatever your name is, I don't give a crap about somebody like you okay?" I was sobbing now.
"Gosh! Mallory, I was depressed, A year ago, I went to see a therapist, I'm on fucking Zoloft" He shurgged.
"What?" I faintly said, I didn't believe what he was saying.
"I've repressed all the good memories I've had that I only remembered the bad ones, That's why I told you so" He slowly said.
I felt like a huge idiot, The guy was only trying to help me.
After we had calmed down, We got back to the car and sat there, He didn't start the engine, He just sat there looking at the empty driveway.
"I'm sorry for everything I said, I thought you were making fun of me" I looked at him.
"Making fun of you? Gosh Mallory" He sarcastically chuckled.
"We're so alike" He spoke.
"How?"
"The depression itself, Can bring a lot of dying souls together"
"Are you being poetic now?"
"I noticed that little cut on your wrist, From the very first day" He said as I looked at my wrist.
"When you slipped the keys onto the lock" He smirked.
"So what? You're on fucking Zoloft for God's sake" I rolled my eyes.
"Zoloft" He closed his eyes.
"It's like having a note saying, Don't kill yourself today" He smiled, His eyes closed.
"You know, It did help with the pain, I was losing control cutting everyday, It just gives you a sense of reality" He folded his arms and looked at me.
"Depressed people are the only ones who get a sense of reality" I shook my head.
"That's wrong my friend, What's real about cutting? Do you feel the pain?" He asked.
"No, Because the pain inside is much demanding" I replied.
"It's not real, Depression and cutting, None of them are reality, They're in your head"
"How so?"
"Let me ask you a question" He turned to me.
"Why do you cut? Honest answer, Don't give me a shitty answer"
"I don't know" I simply replied.
"I said, No shitty answer"
"I'm about to lose my best friend, I hate myself and I despise living, Good enough for you?" I replied, He nodded.
"Alexa is about to die, That's true, There's nothing you can do about it, But. When you cut for Alexa and for the sad fact that she's about to die, Don't you think that's kind of... Far from reality? Like if cutting does brings you back to reality then why don't you just live with it? That's the whole point of reality isn't it? To suck it up, trying to cope without fucking yourself up" He said.
"When I cut it's like I don't feel anything anymore, It's like I don't have to put up with the pain anymore, A distruction"
"It is separating you from reality, The blade is your own reality, You've accustomed to transfer your pain to that small piece of metal, But the thing is Mallory, That blade, It's a bitch, It won't feel anything, It won't help you, and It won't make you feel better" He stared at me.
"You hate yourself? Look at yourself Mallory, You're so beautiful it hurts, It's hard being around you without staring at you" He smiled.
I smiled back at him, Trying not to burst to tears, It was the nicest thing I've heard in my life, Apart from Alexa's words, I didn't believe it, I knew I didn't have to but somehow I knew I should have a long time ago.
"Everything you need is inside you, You don't need an object to do that for you" He made a faint smile then started the engine.