Found Missing

We drive, and drive, and drive. We drive for what I swear could be days, really it's only been about an hour. We hold hands in the space between our car seats, silent after our ordeal on the pier, the sound of rain heavy in our ears, the taste of cotton candy stuck to our lips and the mission to find Heather now strong in our minds.

I smile when I hear Gerard hum to himself. I can't recognize the tune, so I guess he could have made it up; not an impossible idea in the slightest after the tiny delights he's revealed today. He says something, and I realize I've been staring.

"Sorry, what did you say?"
"I said, maybe we should ask someone for directions."
"Really?"
"Well, we've been driving in circles for ages, have you even seen any sign of this bar?"

I sigh. "We could ask someone, but I haven't seen any sign of anyone worth asking, either."
Gerard disentangles his fingers from mine and reaches for Heather's wallet on the dashboard. "Someone is better than no one, Elfie." He shakes Heather's card out from between the tacky leather with his spare hand, pulling his car over into the parking lot of an even tackier looking cafe.
"Let's ask in here."

From behind the rain specked window I can see only two people inside; a waitress who doesn't appear old enough to be out of school and a young woman who looks worse than we do.

We share a doubtful look, nonetheless Gerard steps out of his car and walks around to open my door, staring straight into my eyes when I hesitate to join him. "Honey, the sooner this is over, the better."

Inside smells too much like syrup but at least the warm air clings to our cold skin. The woman looks us up and down from her seat at the cafe counter, icy blue diamonds hovering over Gerard, forcing me to purse my lips when her eyes settle on the zipper of his jeans. I clear my throat and tighten my grip on his fingers as she tears her eyes back to her cup of coffee.

"Ouch!" Gerard winces, snatching his hand away from mine. "What was that for?"
"Nothing." I mutter, rolling my eyes.

*

"Why the fuck would a pair like you want to go some place like that?" The young woman who we've learnt to be named Sophie asks, expression a sour mix between amused and perplexed. "If you're both into that kinda' thing, there's plenty more nicer strip joints in the city, lemme' tell you that-"
"No!" Gerard and I exclaim at the same time. "No, no we're looking for someone, ya' see," He shoves Heather's card in front of Sophie. "any idea who this Blake girl is?"
"Ah, Heather Blake." She drawls, Midwest accent thick, raising her brows at the waitress who scoffs and pops her gum. "Now, what could ya' both want with Heather?"

I peek up at Gerard and he promptly shakes his head at me, neither of us have the energy to recite our reasons, so I quickly say "She just has something of ours, that's all."
Gerard lets out a frustrated sigh, but I ignore him. "We need to pick it up."

Sophie shrugs and sets her empty cup on the counter. "Okay, gimme' a ride and I'll take you there."
"You know where it is?" I ask.
"Yep, used to dance there."
"So did I." The waitress adds, coy, collecting Sophie's cup and popping her gum again. "Still do if I need the money."

I blink, unsure of how to picture a girl as young as she working at a strip bar, and Gerard asks the question I've been wondering this whole time - "How old are you?"
"Sixteen, it was my birthday last week." She tells him, twisting the end of her pale blonde pigtail and failing to hide the flirtation in her voice.

Gerard wrinkles his nose, but before he has time to say anything else Sophie is rushing us out of the cafe. "Sorry about her, Tara's still learning when it comes to subtlety..."
"I'd never have guessed," I hear Gerard mutter, rummaging for his keys. "anyway, Elfie, did you have say say we were 'picking it up'?" He hisses at me.
"Way to go! Make us sound like drug dealers-"
"Well I didn't know what to say! I'd like to see you try better!" I hiss back. "Besides, it wouldn't be a total lie-"
"Stop bickering!" Sophie shouts to us from the car park, faux fur coat collecting drizzle in the fading rain. "So, which shitty car belongs to you two?"

*

When we arrive at Heather's bar, parked by the dirty puddled curb, I don't know what to do.
'Shady Lady Ranch' hangs in dim red letter lights over a rusting metal door, flickering dismally in the grey air. I thought I'd be ready to sprint straight in; ready to finally discover what had happened to my best friend. Now we're here; face to face with what could be the truth, and I'm terrified - terrified of what the truth will reveal, terrified of how everything could change.

Gerard stares through the windscreen with dark eyes, his knuckles are turning white over the steering wheel and I can see how afraid he is, too. "I guess this is it, then." He whispers, if not to anyone than to himself. "Sophie, are you coming?"

Through the rear view mirror I can see Sophie's face reflect everything but the desire to join us. "Nah, you're alright."
"But you came with us all this way, where are you gonna' go?"
"I'll find a way back, Tara will be missing me, she gets awful lonely in that cafe."
"Y'know, you didn't have to come with us if it was a hassle." Gerard says. "You could have just pointed us in the right direction, or something..."

Tara sighs, icy blue diamonds shifting in their sockets. "I could see how anxious you both were, are, I know what it's like to feel that way. I just wanted to help."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I know you're not here to pick up drugs." She swallows, gloomy eyes drifting to the dim red lights. "I know you're missing someone, everyone who comes looking for this place is always missing someone. It's like, this place is cursed. You involve yourself and it fucks you up."
Sophie rips her eyes back, prying the car door open and quickly steps out. "Good luck, I'm outta' here." She leans down, offering a poky smile with her ruby lips through Gerard's open window.

"Just remember; with the things I've seen, in that bar you wouldn't catch me dead."

*

Sophie's words echo in my head for every second we remain seated in Gerard's car. Dead, dead. Dead, just like Martha. I can feel my pulse in my ears, my chest is tight and my palms are clammy. This is it, this is what is going to end our months of worry, unanswered questions, and I know I should be leaping at the very idea, but I'm not.

"For fucks sake." Gerard snaps, cracking me out of my daze. "This is ridiculous, we've been waiting for this for fucking five months, and we're just sitting here staring at a metal door-"
"Gerard, wait." My hand closes around his before he can turn the ignition off. He looks at me, and before I can hide it he recognizes the fear through my shaking bones. His features soften and he pulls me against his chest, dragging the words from my mouth that I've been ashamed to admit since meeting Heather - "I'm scared."
"Me too, Elfie, me too," His breath barely grazes my forehead, sending goosebumps over my neck. "but we need to do this, for Martha." He says, cupping my chin. "Not just for Martha," he presses his lips against mine, "but for us, too."