A Stark Love

“Message received Yesterday at 11:35 PM.

Beep

If you could just give me some time – coffee, lunch, whatever – I don’t fucking care. Time to talk. Time to just fucking…I don’t know…game plan this? You always fucking do this shit – I mean… No.. that came out wrong I just mean… I mean… Fuck… You act like this was only me – that I’m the bad guy. Yeah I was an ass sometimes, I know that. You know that. But dammit, you know I care. You know that. I know you do. I don’t know how to properly explain myself sometimes….You’re what I want, Sunny. You are. I’m just… I’m-“

Beep”

Sonja let out a staggered breath.
The phone calls kept coming in.
Each time she sent them to voicemail, hoping that would somehow deter his efforts – but it didn’t.

“Message received, Today at 1:28 AM

Beep”

Sonja leaned her head against her headboard, hands clutching the phone close to her chest as she listened to the subtle breaths coming through,

“Do you remember when we went to North Carolina?...I wanted us to go to Vegas but you wanted to go camping. North Carolina, of all the damn places. We couldn’t even do it. We got there and it was a downpour. Rain and cold for days. Fayetteville, North Carolina…all the places in the world and you chose North Carolina…Typical Sunny, always going against the grain…always a little fox.

Beep”

Sonja shut her eyes for a moment as the memories swirled around her. Her eyes fluttered back open as she forced herself to look at her phone.

Six more messages.

Her thumb traced over the play button for the next message but stopped before tapping the screen. What was the point? This was the same head game they had played for years on end. Demetri thinks he knows what he wants. She goes back. They’re fine for another few months. He gets an itch to move on to something new. They move on. Here we are again.

Sonja tossed her phone away from her, feeling it bounce before settling into the bed. Nothing was going to change. They would be forever trapped in a loop that only weighed down on her. The thrill of the chase was long gone.

She slid her body across the mattress, pushing away from her headboard and rested her head on her pillow. She needed a moment to wash away the emotions. Wash away any feeling of the last few days so she could go back to life post-Demetri.
_______________________________________________________________________________

“That’s not the point. Look, if you’re going to apply to school then do it because you actually want to go - not because Rachel is going.”

Sonja rolled her eyes as tossed another handful of peanuts in her mouth, “It’s all the same shit – who cares? Art’s not going to suddenly change. I’m pretty sure that Van Gogh and Monet would approve, Dem.”

Demetri let out a puff of air and shook his head as he kicked another pebble on the trail they walked on. The breeze was light and warm causing the branches to wave ever so softly. It was the same trail they took to get back home every day from school. The canopy of the trees above them allowing for some cool shade to accompany the breeze.

“Whatever, Sunny. Look – if you wanna go because of the program, that’s awesome.”

Sonja smiled and tossed her hands up, “Thank yo-“

“But I still think you should apply to other schools.”

Sonja rolled her eyes and groaned, tossing a few peanuts at him, “Oh would you stop! It’s just a school, Dem. You act like I’m signing my life away and I can’t change my mind later.”

Demetri stopped in his tracks, his shoulders pulled back as he crossed his arms, “You need to take this seriously, Sonja.”

Sonja slowly turned towards him, slumping her shoulders forward, “I know, okay? I just don’t…”
Demetri tilted his head slightly, examining her closely, waiting for her response.

“I just don’t know if I’ll make it anywhere…You know how competitive it is to get into a Fine Arts school. It might be easier to just…I don’t know…Go to the one I know I can get into easily.”

Sonja shifted the peanuts from one hand to another as she stared down, watching them tumble back and forth, her voice becoming a whisper, “What other place is going to want me?”

Demetri took soft, long strides to her as his hands cupped her face, tilting it until she met his eyes, “Every place. Every single one of them will want you.” A curve in his lips pulled at the corners slowly, his eyes slowly squinting at her in disbelief, “You are an amazing artist, Sunny, but they won’t see it if you don’t apply. You’re brilliant. Promise me, you’ll at least look into it?”

Sonja nodded her head lightly, her eyes fluttering to push back the tears brimming in her eyes, “I promise.” He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, thumbs rubbing away the few tears that escaped, “Good. I need you to wake up, Baby.”

Sonja’s face contorted in confusion, “What?” Demetri pulled his hands away from her face and began taking steps back, “Wake up, Baby.”

Sonja’s hand reached out to him, her legs locked in place, unable to move, “Dem, wait!”
____________________________________________________________________________

“Wake up, Baby. Sonja, Darling, you’re going to be late.”

Sonja’s eyes slowly opened, squinting at the light beaming from her window, “What?” She could feel the weight of another sitting at the edge of her bed, “Sonja, we have to plan your gallery opening party. Don’t you remember? Your Father and I were taking you for breakfast to discuss it. Are you sick?” Her Mother’s hand reached out quickly, testing the temperature of her forehead.

Sonja groaned and tried to swat her away, “I’m not sick. I’m sorry, Mom. I must have overslept.” Sonja slowly sat up straight in her bed, eyes adjusting to see her Mother at her side. Her Mother’s eyes were soft, concerned, but she simply patted her cheek, “Well, it’s time to get ready. Get yourself together. Your Father and I will wait for you downstairs.”

Sonja nodded her head, smiling faintly as her Mother left and shut the door behind herself. Sonja let her head fall back against her cushioned headboard, her eyes scanning the wall as she recalled the dream. After a moment, she pushed it away, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and bounding towards her closet.

“So tell us, Little Fox, how is the thrilling world of the arts these days?”

Sonja slowly swallowed her food, doing her best to not choke in the midst of her laughter, “I’m a regular Van Gogh, Papa.” Her Father’s laughed boomed as Elena, her Mother, smiled, shaking her head. “Of course you are! You’re brilliant, Little Fox. We’re both just so proud of you.” His eyes glistened as he watched her. Sonja smiled lovingly at her parents, “Thanks, guys.”

Elena clapped her hands her together quickly, “So, now that we have all the big things out of the way, I thought I should give you a warning. Your brother, Elias, is requesting to bring his new…friend. I wanted to make sure we talked that out before…” Elena was stopped by Roderick’s sudden stance. Her Father stood tall slowly, a grin on his face, “Well, I’ll be damned.” Sonja’s brow furrowed in confusion as she turned her head to follow her Father’s gaze.

“Good Morning, Everyone. I didn’t realize you’d be coming here as well.”

Roderick let out a chuckle, quickly embracing the young man, “Demetri, what a wonderful surprise! When did you get into town?” Sonja felt her chest tighten as she watched him. Demetri glanced at her, smiling lightly, “Yesterday. I thought I’d grab a bite, but please don’t let me spoil your breakfast.” Roderick and Elena both laughed, shaking their heads at the comment. “Oh, please, we’re nearly finished anyway! Demetri join us, won’t you? We’re just discussing the last touches on Sonja’s Gallery Opening Party.” Elena said with glee.

Roderick slapped his back lovingly as he motioned with his hand for him to sit down next to Sonja. Demetri smiled, taking a seat next to Sonja as her Father got comfortable again. “Gallery opening?” Demetri turned to face her, “I didn’t realize you were opening another one.” Roderick chimed in, “She needs a place to put her art. Her studio is getting too cramped to both produce and sell pieces. It’s a smart move, Little Fox.” He winked at his daughter, arm resting over his wife’s chair.

Sonja sipped her coffee as she took a slow breath in and nodded in agreement. She could hear them talking, but she wasn’t listening any longer. How did he know they’d be here? What made him think he could just waltz in and sit with them? Has he snapped? Did he lose his mind? Why was he here?
“Nevertheless, I think we have the list done. Sonja was just giving us the last few clearances so we can finish it all up!” Elena exclaimed. Sonja, hearing her name, nodded and smiled politely, “And we’re all done now, so I think we can head out.” Sonja attempted to rise from her seat only stopping when her Father raised a hand to halt her, “Now, now, Sonja. Where are our manners? You two kids probably want to catch up, plus, you need to explain to Demetri how to get to the new gallery. Maybe take him to view your current one, yes?”

Sonja’s eyes widened at her Father’s suggestion. Elena and Roderick eyed Sonja, waiting for her response, “Well…I thought we had more to do with the party. I don’t want you guys to-“ Her Mother raised her hands stopping her, “Now, now, I have it. You told me what you wanted and we will get it done. Take a break – we hardly see him. Enjoy your time together! Plus, your Father and I really need to head back home. Your brother has a terrible habit of taking your Father’s motorcycles.” At the mention of his treasure, Roderick stood up swiftly awaiting for Elena so they could leave. He extended a hand to Demetri, “Always wonderful to see you, kid.” Elena quickly ran around the table and hugged him, “Hope to see you at the opening, Darling.”

It felt like seconds for the whole conversation to end before Sonja was left behind with Demetri. He tapped the water glass lightly with his fingers, watching her slightly, “I got your e-mail.” Sonja eyed him, shaking her head, “You know, if you click the ‘reply’ button, you can avoid traveling so many miles.” Demetri was unmoved by her comment, his eyes resting on her face, “I’m no good with words, you know that.” His words were soft, but certain. She asked him to search for words, and when he couldn’t, he let his actions speak for themselves.

Sonja rubbed her temples roughly before falling back into the chair, her arms folding over her chest, “So what am I supposed to do with this? You come here for what? To try to embarrass me? To start another argument? What? What possible reason could you have in being here now?” Demetri let his eyes drift from her face momentarily, shaking his head, “I came for you.” His eyes met hers once more, his shoulders shrugging slightly, “I…I just knew I needed to see you. We have to…talk this through – figure out how to…I don’t know.” His hand roughly raked through his hair.

Sonja shook her head slowly, sighing in disbelief, “You still don’t know what you want. Unbelievable.” She got up quickly, catching him off guard as his eyes widened. “You want me, but have no idea what for. I’m done playing this game with you.” Sonja tossed money on the table, grabbed her things, and walked away. “Sonja.” He called after her sternly. At this point, it didn’t matter to her. She had gone down this path with him before. He always wanted her, but only when it was convenient. She was done with being a “convenience”.

As she marched down the cobble stone road, she could hear his long strides coming up behind her fast. “Will you wait a goddamn minute?” He barked, trying not to yell too loudly to cause a scene. Sonja didn’t respond, she turned at the end of the road and started walking into the parking garage. Her steps echoed in the empty garage packed with cars. She turned her head to see him begin to sprint her, but refused to steady her pace any further.

“Goddammit, Sonja!” He said through gritted teeth. Demetri stopped in front of her, his chest heaving from frustration than exhaustion, “What the hell do you want from me? I’m here, aren’t I? I came here to show you that I want you – always. What the hell are you doing?” Sonja pushed him to the side and turned the corner towards her car, “For you to figure out what you want with me. I’m not a toy.” She yelled over her shoulder as she moved around the cement beams in her corner of the garage. Demetri followed closely behind her, grabbing her arm to halt her, “What I want with you? Are you kidding me?”

Sonja spun around, her fury evident in her eyes, “Yes. What do you want with me? You always want me, but when you have me then you have no idea what to do. I’m not a toy for you to take out when you’re bored. You don’t do relationships, remember?” She yelled at him, her voice echoing in the garage. “Well maybe now I do!” He yelled back, his voice booming.

Sonja took a step back against the cool cement pillar, trying to catch her breath from the fury building in her. Demetri shook his head, rubbing his face hard as he turned away from her, pacing quickly. He moved back to her, closer than before, his hands cupping her face, “I want you. I want us. I just…I need…” He shut his eyes tightly before opening them again, “I need you to…just work with me here. I came here for you. I want this.” Sonja shook her head slowly in his hands, trying to pull herself away from him, “This is just like before, Dem…”

Demetri rested his forehead against hers, her lungs filling with his scent, “I want us, Sunny. I do. I need you to just…work with me. I’m trying.” Sonja’s heart sank as she let her hands drift up his chest, and rest behind his neck. Demetri pulled his face back, his eyes resting on hers full of sincerity, “Don’t you want me?” His voice was a whisper, raw and nervous. She tilted her head, eyes softening as she kept him close, “I always want you.” She allowed herself to be vulnerable with him. She could finally feel walls starting to crumble between them.

Sonja’s fingers glided to cup his face, pulling him to her, as she slowly pressed her lips against his. Her shoulders relaxed, her lips pulling slowly from him. Demetri leaned forward, pushing her against the pillar, as his hands wove into her hair kissing her tenderly. He was savoring the taste of her before she slowly pulled her lips from him again, “Slow, Dem…Slow.” Demetri’s chest rose and fell slowly, nodding lightly in his understanding. He let his hands fall from her, standing up straight as he watched her face. Sonja’s fingers touched her lips briefly as she kept his gaze, “I have to go to the gallery.”

Demetri nodded slowly, “Give me a tour?” Sonja smiled lightly as she took in a deep breath, her head resting against the pillar, and nodded.