Save Me From Myself

Austin’s POV

The first thing Austin did when he woke up was groan in pain. His whole body ached and pleaded for him to remain sleeping as he got up and readied himself for school. He was thankful that his father was passed out drunk on the couch, and left without taking breakfast or lunch money.

The world was occupying themselves -talking on the phone or with friends- completely unaware of Austin ever passing them. Austin kept his head down low, not daring to make eye contact with people who could potentially hurt him. He pushed himself through the crowds, not bothering mutter an apology-nobody would listen anyway. When he finally arrived at school, his stomach growled. Austin ignored it in favor of wanting to get to class. Just as he did in the streets, he kept his head down low, eyes not lifting their gaze from the ground. Due to this, he accidently ran into someone.

“Watch where you’re going, Fag.” the jock spat. Austin refused to lift his eyes from the dirt cover floor. He didn’t want to make things worse.

“No reply?” the jock sneered at him. “Mommy’s not here to save you.” he laughed.

The routine was usual and Austin was used to people constantly picking at him, be it physically or verbally, he put up with it. He was ready to just continue to ignore him, but when the other made that last comment, it took everything in him to control himself. Austin shook, fists clenching and unclenching in an effort to restrain himself. He fought the urge to scream and retaliate and curl in a ball sobbing.

The bully took one look at Austin’s face and paled, taking a step back. Austin looked ready to lose it at any moment and he really didn’t want his face to become the target of his rage. He may act big, but even he knew his limits, especially when it’s a 6’6 man compared to a 5’8 man. He took off down the hall, putting as much distance between the two as possible.

As Austin tried to reel in his emotions, tears began to leak through his eyes. Quick to wipe them away, the giant opened his eyes, expecting to see his tormentor, only, he was alone in a sea of students. Wiping away his tears again, he returned his gaze to the floor, not wishing to provoke another with his awful presence.

When he reached his first class, art, he let his eyes wander the room. There were only a few students who chose to arrive at class earlier than necessary. Austin smiled at the peaceful atmosphere; this was his safe haven. Walking over, Austin grabbed his guitar and a seat, where he began to do the one thing he rarely does anymore: speak (or in this case, sing).

Lightly strumming on the chords, he begins,

“I hope, I hope you smile,

When you look down on me.

I hope you smile

This can’t, we know

I hope that I make you proud.

This is not what it is only baby scars

I need your love like a boy needs his mother’s side

This is not what it is only baby scars

I need your love like a boy needs his mothers side

Yeah”

Austin finished, a rare smile gracing his lips. He could feel the tears beginning to well up in his eyes again, but he blinked them away. The loss of his mother still weighed heavily on his mind and just the thought of her brought on a flood of tears. Sighing heavily, Austin rested his head on the back of his chair, shutting his eyes. He listened to distant conversations of students talking about their favorite musicians. It felt nice being able to have some space, so at the start of every class, he purposely seats himself away from the other students. All too soon, the bell was ringing and a flood of students piled into the class.

The teacher entered the class, taking her place at her mini-stage , her presence immediately quieting the class.

“Good morning, class. Some time today we will be having a pleasant surprise. Now then, please so try to focus in class till then.”

Class was passing quickly and the knowledge of a surprise was enough to have any student twitching in excitement. Austin couldn’t deny he felt the same at that moment, but there was also that side of him that just hated surprises. He had very many experiences with surprises, and most of them weren’t good. Austin shuddered, recalling bad memories of his childhood.

A loud knock at the door resounded through the whole class and everyone settled down instantly, curious to see what awaited them. All eyes were at the door. This had to have been their “surprise”. The door opened and in walked the principal and a boy about 5’10, 5’11. Austin tried not to stare at the new boy who wore a black beanie over his unruly mop of red hair. As Austin discreetly got a closer look, he immediately cover his eyes with his bangs, once again staring at the ground before him. It was his friend, no, his best friend, who he knew since first grade, who moved away three years ago due to his dad’s promotion in another state. They used to be really close, and when times were dark for Austin, he was always there by his side, similar to a crutch for his life. He held Austin up when he broke down. But now he’s back, and Austin had not a clue on how to deal with this situation.

In a way he felt betrayed, but he understood that none of what happened was Alan’s fault. He couldn’t control any of what happened. Either way, he really didn’t want Alan to see what has become of him. How weak he’s become.

“Well, Mr. Ashby, why don’t you introduce yourself to the class?” the teacher said kindly. Alan nodded and stepped up onto the mini-stage.

“Hey, my name is Alan Anthony Ashby. I’m a junior and I love music and cats.”

“Thank you, Mr. Ashby. We will be skipping the asking of questions because I think we all know the questions that will come your way.” she teased the class. Glancing around for an appropriate seat for Alan, her eyes landed on Austin. “If you would, grab a seat and sit by Austin. Austin, would you be a dear and raise your hand?” she asked sweetly.

Austin’s head shot up at the sound of his name being called. He pleaded to the teacher through his eyes, but she only grinned back. She probably thought this would be good for him, but Austin thought otherwise. He sighed before pulling on his jacket hood and raising his hand pathetically.

Alan grabbed a chair and walked over to where the hand lay raised. Setting his chair down, he grinned at the other, who was seemingly hiding himself, and offered his hand.

“Hey, as you could gather, I’m Alan. Nice to meet you!” Austin looked at the hand offered, his cheeks tinted pink. It seems he still hasn’t gotten over his crush from four years ago, no, if anything, it only grew. Austin raised his eyes to meet Alan’s and gave a small wave.

“Hey.” he whispered back. He didn’t know if he should dance with joy or cry in sorrow because his friend didn’t recognize him. Whispers and murmurs broke out between the students. How was it that a new kid had gotten the Austin Carlile to talk to him? The others in the music class have been trying only to get to nowhere, and then this person comes out of nowhere and he speaks!

Alan grinned to himself. He had apparently accomplished a great feat in getting this kid to talk to him. He was curious and wanted to find out why he didn’t talk often. He wanted to be his friend. Alan sigh quietly to himself. There was something about this guy that just reminded him of his childhood friend whose name was coincidentally also Austin. They were both sort of moody and Alan was sure that if he got him to stand up, he would be just as freakishly tall as his Austin.

“Hope to be friends in the future!” Alan shot him a blinding smile before sitting down. He could have sworn he heard Austin say,

“We already were, Ginger Princess.”

Alan’s eyes widened comically before shaking it off and waving it off as his imagination.

Austin felt as if his heart had broken into pieces. His friend hadn’t remembered him at all, and to be honest, that was one of the things that hurt him the most. It didn’t matter that he was trying to hide himself from Alan, there was enough of Austin that had remained the same it would be easy to recognize him. The thought were swirling around in his head, confusing him. He wanted one thing and another at the same time. He knew he couldn’t have it both ways, he could only dream.

The bell rang and Austin was all ready to bolt out the door when the teacher called out,

“Austin, Alan, I would like the both of you to stay behind please.” The two waited for the class to empty before heading up to the teacher. “Austin, you and Alan have all the same classes but third and sixth period. Will you show him around for the first week of school? Here’s a pass, excusing you of all tardiness- within a reasonable amount of time of course.” Austin nodded and silently left the room, Alan in tow.

Austin led Alan to their second period class, pausing only when Alan asked him where the bathroom was. Austin switched their direction around and they were now heading towards the restrooms. He waited outside the bathroom for Alan as Alan went and did his business. He fidgeted and played with the sleeves of his jacket, waiting for Alan to return, his anxiety messing with his mind.

Alan’s POV

Alan did his business quickly before washing his hands in the sink. Drying his hands on his jeans, he looked himself in the mirror. He hasn’t changed much since he’s last seen Austin, except for maybe his height. Alan was almost one hundred percent positive that the Austin he met today was his Austin. The only problem was that he had changed so much, Alan had a hard time seeing him as his best friend. It wasn’t the fact that he had changed that had bothered Alan, no, it was the fact that he had become more recluse. He didn’t talk to anyone anymore, and he didn’t seem to have any friends. Change can be good, but it can also be bad, and unfortunately for Alan, Austin’s change was considered a bad one. He sighed to himself. Deciding to delve deeper, he decided to wait before coming out to the boy waiting outside for him. He didn’t like the fact that Austin sat all alone and barely talked to anyone, always having an expression of pain etched into his face, and his eyes holding a constant sadness within them. Alan sighed once more to himself before plastering a smile on his face and headed out to meet back up with Austin.

“Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting!” Austin only blink owlishly and nodded his head before heading back in the direction of the classroom. Alan felt kind of rejected at the treatment towards him, but he tried not to let it affect him.

When they finally reached their second period class, Austin immediately picked the seat farthest back near the window. He quickly sat down and his head in his arms, hood on. Alan looked on with a sad expression. It upset him that his friend had changed so much, and not for the better. Collecting his thoughts, Alan sat down in the seat beside Austin. After a few minutes, the teacher entered the class.

“Settle down, class!” the teacher demanded. “We have a new student today. I would like you all to welcome Alan Ashby. Mr. Ashby, if you would, please come up and introduce yourself to the class.” Huffing, Alan slid out of his chair and slowly walked to the front of the class. Letting his eyes wander, his eyes had landed on Austin’s form. His head was still being embraced by his arms and his hunched back was moving up and down, as if he was crying. All Alan wanted to do was go and comfort the boy, wrap his arms around him and wipe his tears away from his beautiful eyes, but he didn’t want to cause a scene and embarrass them both. Alan mentally huffed, and began,

“Hi, I’m Alan Ashby. Hur-fucking-ray.” Alan deadpanned. Giggles had escaped the lips of some of the girls in the classroom. He looked over Austin again and saw that his shoulders were now doing a bouncing motion, like he was laughing. A smile graced his lips. He was glad to see Austin laughing, and even happier that he was the one to draw the laugh out of him.

The teacher glared at Alan. “Mr. Ashby, we do not speak in such a manner here, nor do we tolerate it. Do refrain from speaking in such a way. And you, class,” she glared at them. “don’t encourage him by laughing.”

Alan held his hands up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay! I promise not to say it again.” He tried to keep his face straight and serious, but as hard as he tried, his façade cracked and he broke into bouts of giggles.

“Return to your seat.” Alan followed her instructions and sat back in his seat. Anyway, good morning, class. I’m sure you’re all excited for another eventful day of math!” She grinned evilly, a chorus of groans followed.

Throughout the whole lesson, Austin kept his head down in his arms. The teacher never called on him, and Alan had to wonder if he was passing the class. Alan himself, was having trouble keeping up and it was only his first day. Alan feared what was in store for him throughout the year.

Once again, when the bell rang, Austin immediately shot up, waiting only long enough for Alan to gather his things before practically racing out of the classroom. Alan struggle to keep up with him. He found himself occasionally pushing kids out of the way just so that he didn’t lose sight of Austin.

The rest of Alan’s day consisted of pretty much the same thing. He was a bit down that he couldn’t get Austin to open up to him, but he swore to himself that he would keep trying until he did. Alan walked the trek home in silence. He was glad that the first day of school was finally over, but he didn’t want to leave Austin. During the time that Alan was with him, he saw Austin on the receiving end of many glares and insults, not once fighting back. He was the gentle giant in a school of buffoons. What did he do to deserve any of what was handed to him.

When Alan got home, he threw his bag next to the door and went straight to the kitchen, only pausing to pet Lily-one of his three cats. Grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry, Alan went and dropped on his living room couch. Niblet, his black Scottish Fold cat, jumped up with him, nudging his hand in an effort to get him to pet her. Alan caved in and ran his hand through her silky fur. Purring in contentment, she kissed his cheek before nuzzling him. Alan smiled down at her. He picked her up and threw out his empty bag of chips, then headed to his room. His parents were away on a trip to finish up some last business for his dad’s old job. The day was long and full of surprises, so it wasn’t a shock when Alan decided to take a nap because of how tired he was. He curled up on his bed with Niblet curled up next to him.

He would decided what to do with Austin later.