Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting

Getting Ben’s stuff wasn’t a walk through the park at all. I tried to make as less trips as possible by taking more of Ben’s stuff at a time, but unfortunately, I don’t have a car or nothing so I had to fucking do this on foot. I did it for Ben so the unbearable ache in my chest is worth it.

I tiptoe into my room with the last of Ben's stuff and drop it into the corner, where all of his other stuff is. We'd figure out where to put it when he woke up in the morning. It’s too early to do it now, I mean, who wants to deal with this at one in the fucking morning?

I change into something comfortable before heading over to the bed and getting in next to Ben, who was already asleep and snoring softly.

"Danny?" he mumbles sleepily.

Fuck, looks like I woke him up.

"Yeah, Benny?" I answer him.

"Where'd you go?"

"I got your stuff."

"I can't believe you actually did that for me. You're the best."

"I'm the Dsnop!" Ben chuckles sleepily, but he hides his smile when he does. I scowl.

"You know, I think you’re smile is really beautiful. If you don't want to smile in front of other people, fine, but can you at least smile for me?"

Ben's eyes flutter open, finally, and he stares up at me. After a while, he finally nods. I smile.

"Can you smile for me?" I plead. He gives me a small, sweet smile, making my own smile widen.

“See? You have a beautiful smile. I love your smile,” I tell him as I wrap an arm around him and pull him closer to me.

“If you say so, Danny. Night,” he yawns shortly before he’s slightly snoring once again.

<><><>

“Hey, guys!” Sam chirps as he sits at the table with us. “You guys excited about the party tomorrow? I am!”

“Why so excited about it?” Ben asks him, raising an eyebrow.

“I want you guys to meet my friends! Duh!” Sam cheers.

“I really don’t want to go, but Danny’s making me.”

“You’ll enjoy yourself!” I try to convince him. Ben rolls his eyes.

I then suddenly remember something from last night.

I turn to Ben. “Benny-boy, do you think you’ll be okay by yourself with Ms. King for a couple minutes? I gotta talk with Sam.”

He nods.

“Is it okay if I tell him about your parents?” I whisper so no one else hears. He sighs.

“Just don’t tell him I’m gay, I don’t want him to find out just yet.” I smile sadly and nod. I understand, but he’s gonna find out sooner or later. I mean, everyone in the school knows, right? He’s gotta pick it up somewhere.

Like I’m gonna hear of Ben’s secrets from somewhere.

I get up and motion for Sam to follow me out of the classroom and into the hallway, who was staring at me curiously. He gets up and follows me out of the classroom, I close the door behind us.

“What’s going on?” he asks me. I look around the hallway, being sure no one was around to hear us. When I see the coast is clear, I start.

“I don’t want Ben going home anymore,” I tell him seriously.

“Why?” he asks, noticing my seriousness.

“Well, I found out that his parents don’t treat him very nicely at home at all,” I say sadly.

“Are you fucking serious?!” Sam exclaims, his outburst echoes through the halls. Thankfully, no one bothered to see what was going on. Probably assumed it was a few hooligans wandering the hallway during lunch.

“Keep it down, I’m only telling you because he said I could tell you!” I lecture him for speaking too loud.

“Sorry, and did you kick their asses yet? Oh boy, I’m ready to kick some ass!” he growls, cracking his knuckles dramatically.

That’s what you see in cheesy-ass movies and books. It’s irritating.

“No, don’t worry about it for now. We need to discuss the plan I came up with.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“I’d let Ben spend the night at my house everyday, but my parents would probably wonder why he’s always spending the night, right?” He nods, knowing where I’m getting at.

“So, you want me to let him spend the night at my place some days?” I nod.

“Pretty much. Is it okay with you?”

“If it keeps him safe, yeah. But only on Wednesdays and Fridays. Busy on other days.”

“Okay, thanks, Sam,” I smile at him. “But don’t tell anyone, I don’t think Ben wants anyone else to know.” He nods.

“Alright.”

“Oh, and guess what?” I ask, suddenly really happy after a very serious conversation.

“Yeah?” he replies with a smile.

“I saw Ben smile!” I sing. “I saw it, and it was so cute!”

He smiles wider. “See? I told you you’d see it!”

“Yeah. I don’t think he’s gonna let anyone else see it, but hey, at least I get to see it, right?” Sam laughs at me and nods. He follows me back to the classroom, where I see Ben standing awkwardly by Ms. King’s desk. I also notice him blushing.

Man, he’s always blushing at something.

We both sit back down at the table and wait for Ben to sit back down. I try to listen to their conversation, but they’re both talking so quietly. Ms. King stops their conversation when she sees us and smiles. Ms. King dismisses him and he comes back over to us. I smirk at him as he sits down next to me.

“What’cha blushing at?” I ask him.

“N-nothing,” he says as he covers his face. I giggle at his cuteness, and so does Sam.

“Sam said you can spend the nights on Wednesdays and Fridays, so you’ll go home with Sam tomorrow, okay?” I tell him.

“Really, Sam?” Ben looks up happily. Sam smiles wider and nods, obviously enjoying how happy he is.

“Yeah! I mean, we’re friends, right?” Sam says. Ben nods happily, and I see him trying to hold back a smile.

It made me feel jealous since I can’t make him smile that easily.

But at least I can see it whenever I want, so I really don’t have a reason to be jealous of him.