The State of Strange and Weird

Yes, there is about a ten-year gap. Yes, I had dreams within every year. No, I do not remember them. I wish I could; I so desperately wish that I could. I bet they were so fantastical, so humorous and full of juvenile creativity. Watching these family home videos of my former child-self leads me to believe that my subconscious was just as comedic. I didn’t start writing my dreams down until 2006 and after the encouragement of some childhood friends. At that time I was fifteen and a sophomore at Lawton Christian School in Lawton, Oklahoma. I was nothing pretty to look at and stood no chance at being voted the Class Clown, but I was creative and full of expression. I had one of the best senses of humor for a girl in that school. My writing was adored, as was the mind from which birthed such creations.

We are in a shopping center. Perhaps a Target, maybe a Wal-Mart, or even a K-mart. The lack of creativity used to differentiate the three in reality is probably what made it so irrelevant in this dream. There is a group of us – friends from LCS – running around, pushing and riding in carts like the intro to Jackass. In the curled grasp of our hands, we grip and wave about purses. We cheer like victorious gladiators, wielding our perilous weapons and speed through the checkout lanes without paying. The alarm sounds, my mind erupting with this unwelcomed blare.

Our escape is immediately terminated. We run back through the doors, dripping the purses and holding our arms up as though the SWAT team has just entered and we are facing arrest. Nothing happens, though, and I find myself gravitating towards the shelving displays. A glorious pink hippo has caught my attention. I use the shelves like the rungs of a ladder, desperately pulling myself up as my eyes bore into the luminous animal above me.

I am in a weird place now. The dream has shifted entirely. It feels like a house, my house. The walls are made of sheer mint green curtains. I push through them, like a curious young maiden pushing through the white sheets on a close line. They move casually by the wind even without my touch. I am transfixed by this bright, sheer sheet maze. I push the curtains open to reveal what appears to be a living room. A stone fireplace stands firm against the billowy walls. A black widescreen TV is tucked in the corner. Before me is a couch, and on that couch is an elderly couple. Their feet are raised onto the coffee table.

My eyes settle on the back of their heads. I am curious to see their faces, so I step forward. Something catches my shins and I trip forward. Twisting back around, I see a middle aged woman with brown hair reading a book. Her feet are propped up on a gliding ottoman. She casts me a gentle smile and murmured, “It’s alright, dear.”

I turned from her, focusing once more back on the reverse profiles of the old man and old woman. My feet stumble again and I see that I have tripped once more on a set of legs propped up on the rocking ottoman. I pivot, expecting to be met with the same jovial eyes as before. Shock finds me as I instead see a bitter old hag, her gray hair twisted tight into a bun atop her lumpy, wrinkled head. She is sitting in the same position reading the same book. She is scowling and goes to chuck the book at my body.

The head of the man sitting on the couch spins to face me. There is no clear definition of his features. “Apparently the other lady didn’t mind if you fell over her,” he says.

I move past them, disappearing through the curtains and into a room that I feel is mine. Upon entering this room, the transparent curtains begin to harden into normal white walls. I do not stand alone. Raven-Symoné is suddenly with me. The walls start to cry, water falling from the ceiling corners and flooding my room. The little objects that weigh heavily on the bottom begin shifting into piranhas. Raven and I swell with terror. There is a silver pole that begins to emerge from the water. I grab a hold, clinging to the cold metal as it raises me to the ceiling. Raven follows suit, her toes lifting from the water just as a piranha jumps.

As the water reaches halfway, Raven’s grip on the pole loosens. She begins to slide down, her dark skin burning as it sticks to the pole. She lets her legs fall so that her feet are resting on the swarm of piranhas below. Water splashes across her clothes. She stares ahead, her voice in monotone stating, “Uh oh, no more pole.” She continued to sink into the water where her flesh is consumed by the carnivorous fish.

The white walls of the room collapse into a beautiful beach with sand. My furniture is still there, as is my body clinging to the pole. The water merges into the sea, the piranhas idling at the wet base of where I cling. A brown Boxer comes running up the beach, his hears flopping and tongue hanging freely over its black gums.

“Duke!” I yell to him. “Save me!”

The hound and I share a brief look before he valiantly jumps into the shallow pool of water surrounding the pole. The piranhas swim from its base and focus on devouring the poor animal that has sacrificed itself for me. As the dark blue water shows signs of red, I try to push from the pole in an attempt to land on my desk. I fall short, my shins hitting the wood as I fall into the water. A few piranhas swim towards me, their little hard lips suckling on my skin. I pull myself to the desk, the top still covered with water.

Another celebrity enters my dream as it fades to another location. I am on the farmland of the TLC’s Roloff family on ‘Little People, Big World.’ Matt and Amy, along with their children, Zach, Jeremy, Molly, and Jacob are all outside talking in their yard next to a tractor. Molly has run up to us, her head bleeding as he rasps heavily. She had been playing football with her brothers’ friends. Jeremy, dressed in a football uniform, inspects his sister’s fractured head. He whispers darkly, “I’m going to kill Wes.”

Not sure who Wes was, if he appeared in an episode, or if he is a reflection of some other human – celebrity or friend – present in my life at that time, but Jeremy is going to kill him and I awoke before I could view any of its bloody pleasures.