I Deserve to Be Loved

Andy
I waited impatiently for Vic to come back, playing on my phone. He left me in his room so that he could steal a condom from his brother Mike. I had told him this morning that I wanted to fuck but obviously he forgot. “Vic, hurry the fuck up!” I yelled, not as horny as I had been. “Sorry, Mike was still home; do you mind?” I stood up, shaking my head. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him against me, connecting our lips. Vic walked me backwards until we fell onto the bed, our bodies bouncing against the mattress. He suddenly pulled away, looking in my eyes. “Are you sure you still want to while he’s here?” I rolled my eyes and shoved him off me before getting up again. “It doesn’t bother me to fuck while your brother plays Halo down the hall but obviously it bothers you. So why don’t I just go home?” I got my jacket from off his desk, his voice following me. “Andy wait; please come back!” He caught me right before the stairs, grabbing a hold of my arm. “I want you.” I smiled fakely, kissing his lips. “Whores without their own condoms don’t get my dick.” I ripped my arm out of his grasp, running down the steps. I went for the front door, surprised to be stopped by Mike. “So he took my condom for nothing huh?” I nodded, opening the door. “Yeah, sorry about that; he wouldn’t have to if he would just be prepared for once.” Mike chuckled, sipping at a soda. “First of all, ew; second, I know what you mean. He needs to get his shit together.” I closed the door again, meeting him in the kitchen. “I’m sorry we disgust you.” I said sassily, making Mike frown. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just can't picture my brother having sex.” He shivered a little, scrunching his nose. “Don’t worry about that; he’s not as great as everyone says.” Mike looked passed me with a guilty expression, glancing back at me. “What the fuck are you still doing here?” Vic asked angrily “Having a conversation with your baby brother. He’s more fun; and kinda cute.” I winked in Mike’s direction, his cheeks turning pink. “What, you’ll flirt with my straight brother, but not me?” I shrugged, walking around the island to Mike. I ran my index finger along his jawline, my other hand squeezing his crotch. “Jesus Andy,” Mike flinched, shoving my hand off him. “Get out,” Vic demanded bitterly. “My pleasure; it’s not my fault that you couldn’t keep me here.” I swayed my hips as I exited his house, quitting when he didn’t follow me. I sighed as I got into my car, pulling off the curb and starting towards my house. I do admit that I was a little disappointed at not having my way with Vic tonight but he didn’t deserve it. He just doesn’t care anymore. It’s not like it would matter though; I can't have love. Not since I was nine years old at least. I made a deal with a demon back then. He said that I could have whatever I wanted if I gave up love. At the time I thought that the deal was fantastic; all the Hot Wheels I could dream of for something that I didn’t even know existed. Love meant nothing to me and I was so quick to give it up. Now the only love that I can have is within my fucked up family and my small group of friends. If anyone else were to say that they love me then the curse takes effect and they hate me for eternity. It’s happened to me twice; I won't let it happen again though. I felt tears threatening at my eyes, the thought of my ex-boyfriends bringing back painful memories. I pulled over to the side of the road as my vision blurred, tears dripping down my cheeks. I rested my forehead on the steering wheel as I cried, balling my hands into fists. My phone buzzed in my pocket multiple times, an array of texts on the screen.

Mom: Are you staying at Vic’s house tonight?

Vic: Andy I’m sorry, please come back.

Ash: Hey honey, I know you’re probably with Vic but if you wanna hang out I’m here.

Mom: I’m going to bed sweetheart. Goodnight.

I wiped my eyes and went to my contacts, pressing my mom’s name.

To Mom: I’m actually staying over at Ash’s house. Night mom.

To Vic: There’s no way in hell I’m coming back there; fuck off.

To Ash: I’m headed over now. Thanks Ashes.

I waited for a reply from my mom, not getting anything back. I grimaced at the sight of Vic’s name, the preview of the text making me nauseas.

Vic: Andy, baby, please. I made a mistake. I was just making sure you wanted it.

I sighed and texted back, just wanting to see Ashley.

To Vic: Bullshit Vic, all you want me for is my body. Just leave me alone; okay? I’m going over to Ashley’s house for the night.

I waited impatiently for his answer, the text never coming. I replaced my cell phone to my pocket, driving off once again. ~ “Hey Ands,” Ashley greeted, frowning as he noticed my eyes. “What the fuck did he do to you?” He asked angrily, pulling me into the house and closing the door. “Ashley, what did I tell you about that language?” Mrs. Purdy scolded from the living room. “Sorry ma’.” Ash replied half-heartedly. He ushered me upstairs to his bedroom, closing and locking the door behind me. “Tell me what happened.” I flopped down on his bed, laying my head on his soft pillows. “He didn’t have a condom so he had to get one from Mike’s room but it turns out that he was home. He kept asking me if I was okay with Mike being there and I got mad.” Ashley lay down next to me, propping his head up on his hand. “Okay well I don’t see why you were crying.” I sighed, covering my eyes with my arms. “I was thinking about Chris and Oli. I was hoping that Vic would actually like me but then I knew deep down that if he did then…he’d be just like them. He’d hate me until the day he dies and I’d have no way to fix it.” My lip began to quiver, the tears returning to my eyes. “Oh Andy, I’m sorry. I know it hurts.” I let him pull me into his arms, tangling his legs with mine. “I-I just want s-somebody to love m-me.” I choked, crying into his shirt. “You know I do sweetie.” He rubbed my back gently, kissing my hair. “I k-know Ash.” I pulled back a little to look in his eyes, smiling weakly as he wiped a tear from my cheek. “Do you think I’m gonna die alone?” I asked, just over a whisper. Ashley frowned. “No honey, of course not; I’m never going to leave you.” I shook my head. “I mean do you think that I’ll ever break the curse? Or will I never have love?” Ashley kissed my lips gently, distracting me. “You’ll break it; I promise.” I smiled and kissed him, glad to know that he would be there. There was a knock on the door, Ashley pulling away from me to unlock it. “What ma’?” Mrs. Purdy looked passed him to me. “Are you staying the night hun?” I nodded. “Alright, just making sure,” I smiled, Ashley shooing his mother out. He turned back to me, holding his hands out to me. “I’m sorry about her.” I shrugged, standing up to meet him. “At least she cares. I mean, I know my mom does but she’s usually busy with my step dad or she’s out at work. She never has time for me anymore.” I looked down at the floor between us, Ashley lifting my chin with his fingertips. “I’m sorry that nobody shows that they care. But I care okay? I won't leave you.” He waited for my smile before turning to put the Misfits on, the loud music drowning out our voices to everyone else. “You really know how to cheer me up, don’t you?” Ashley nodded, holding a finger up before running downstairs. He returned with two cherry Pepsis and three cans of original Pringles. “I swear you’re my favorite person.” He smiled and sat the snacks on the bed, walking over to his TV. I sat down and opened one of the sodas, grinning as he turned on the DVD player. I knew exactly what he was doing. There was another knock on the door and I got up to get it this time. “Okay, Pepsi, Pringles, Misfits, and Batman; Andy, what’s wrong honey?” Mrs. Purdy asked. “Just boy trouble,” I answered loudly so that she could hear over the music. “Well I’m glad Ashley’s treatin’ you right. But if you don’t mind keeping it down in here; dad and I are going to bed.” I smiled and nodded, Ashley cutting the music. “Night Mrs. Purdy,” I said politely. “Goodnight sweetheart,” she replied, kissing my forehead. “Goodnight Ashley,” Ash mumbled a ‘goodnight’ back to her before she left. I turned back to see Ashley under the covers, eating out of the first can of Pringles. “Come here you,” I smiled and kicked off my shoes, crawling into his bed with him. “You’re the best Ash, I love you.” I said, knowing that I wouldn’t get the same answer. “You too Ands,” I laid my head on his shoulder, his arm draping over me. ~