Perfectly Imperfect

My eyes trailed over my body as I looked at myself in the mirror. Tomorrow night was the event that I was forced to attend and Spencer's lesson sat in the back of my mind. I hadn't talked to him since he had forced me out of his house and I couldn't shake away that uncomfortable expression that he held when I asked him questions about his past.

Rummaging around in my closet, I pulled out the suit that I had bought with the older male last week and laid it across the futon before taking a seat on my bed. The way he was so proper wasn't the definition of a normal human being and the few times that the two of us had met up, his actions seemed so forced. The way he snapped at me though... The way he claimed that not everyone had the type of freedom that I have and that if I kept this life up, I would have to learn the hard way...

I flopped back on the bed, staring up at the white ceiling before my eyes found the blue LED numbers on my clock. I wanted to talk to Spencer. I wanted to apologize for asking him so many questions, but I was afraid that there was a chance that I would only upset him again. I knew I would have to talk to him anyway after tomorrow night; there was no doubt about that.

The look on his face though... The scared, slightly angry expression that he held that had made my skin crawl just looking at it... It made me question what exactly happened in his past and why he was so hellbent on trying to make me the perfect individual that my mother wanted to see. I knew that someone must have forced him into that type of lifestyle because there was no way that he ended up like that on his own.

I sat up on the bed, reaching down into my bedside table before pulling out a sketchbook. Before climbing in the shower, I had started to work on a idea that I had been holding in the back of my mind and as I looked down at what I had drawn so far, I sighed. Once again, there was a portrait of Spencer on a piece of paper in front of me; the man who had suddenly became my muse.

Looking back at the clock again, I took notice of the time and knew that I probably needed to go to sleep; I had to wake up early in the morning and make sure I didn't have my typical dark circles around my eyes. I shut my eyes, putting the book off to the side; I was afraid to go to sleep because that would mean that there was a chance for another nightmare.

Slowly, I climbed off of the bed, finally deciding that sleep was a good idea as I turned off the bedroom light, pulling back the covers before climbing under them. The warmth of the blankets held my body as I shut my eyes, hoping that tomorrow's event would go as planned.

---

“You look like you didn't sleep at all last night,” Mirimi said before she took a sip of her cappuccino, a slight smirk on her face as I rolled my eyes. The two of us had been texting off and on since we met the other day and even though I didn't have any classes today, I decided to wander onto campus to hang out with her.

“I didn't; I couldn't,” I muttered, sitting my head down on top of my sketchbook, sighing loudly. All I did last night was stare up at the ceiling before I eventually grabbed my abandoned book, and continued to work on my drawing. It wasn't the best of the ideas, but it calmed me; I eventually ended up falling asleep laying back against the headboard, pencil still in hand.

She tapped me on my arm with a painted nail and I looked up slightly, meeting her multicolored eyes as she said, “You're worried about tonight, aren't you?” Though her tone was slightly amused, her expression held a hint of concern before I laid back down, groaning, “Yes. I hate going to those things, but Mother insists it.”

I knew I had less than five hours until I needed to get dressed up, make sure my hair wasn't a mess and that I didn't have paint splatters on my hands, before heading off to my parents house. Tonight I was expected to display the lessons that Spencer taught me and I knew that there was a high chance that I was going to mess up; there was too much running through my mind and all I wanted to do was hide in my art studio and not worry about being “perfect.”

Mirimi hummed softly, taking another sip of her drink before I sat up, leaning on my arm as I looked at her. Her eyes were drawn to the window as rain pattered on the ground and I opened up my sketchbook, sliding my current project across the table for her to look at. Glancing down, her eyes lit up in awe before she looked up at me and said, “Is this who I think this is?”

I looked down, biting my lip before mumbling, “The guy from the other day? Yeah.” I lifted my coffee up to my lips, taking a drink out of the mug as she said softly, “I've met him a few times during dinner parties and such. He's not too bad; kind of stiff though. It seems like he's the epitome of the perfect, high-class male.” She rolled her eyes and I chuckled softly.

“Why do you think my parents hired him as my tutor?”

She shrugged, glancing down at her watch before she sighed, “I have to head off to class before I'm late again. Is there any way that we can meet up again by the end of the week?” I nodded my head before saying, “I'll text you if I end up with any free time.”

A soft smile held her lips as she said, “Good luck tonight. Don't forget to let me know how the whole thing turns out.” I waved her goodbye as she began to head out the door and I glanced down at my sketchbook once again, deciding to continue to work on the drawing a little longer before staring out at the rain.

It was less than five hours until I was expected to hold the image that my parents were currently dreaming of and I wasn't looking forward to a single minute of it.

---

The car ride over to the event was quiet with the exception of my mother attempting to make smalltalk; I knew I'd be talking enough tonight so I didn't say much. The one thing that held my attention all the way there was the lights of the city and my reflection in the glass of the car window.

We arrived at the hotel where it was being held just a little bit past nine and as Mother went off to converse with other people, as per usual, I followed Father around like a child that was afraid to get lost. I made sure to hold my back straight and stand tall like Spencer had taught me and before long, Father's colleagues began to take interest in me.

“How old are you, boy?” An older man addressed me and I looked up, surprised that I had suddenly been sucked into the conversation. My father watched me carefully as he waited for my reply and I tried to keep from stuttering when I spoke, “E-Eighteen; I'll be nineteen sometime next May.”

“I didn't realize your son was that young, Thomas. Are you still planning for him to take over the company one day?” The older man said and I shifted on my feet, another man staring at me as I stood close to my father; his eyes bore into me, making me feel uncomfortable. I felt so awkward and even though Spencer and I had went through having longer conversations, I felt more at peace around him than I did any of these people.

I kept out of the rest of the conversation before Father moved on to the next person, attempting to network my family's company to theirs. From my understanding, the man owned a few businesses that sold sports gear, one of the few things that our company manufactures.

“You know, we've been looking to expand into a few new horizons and I'm sure it'll draw in quite a bit of income for your business. Do you happen to sell anything right now that caters to winter sports such skiing, or maybe snowboarding?” Father asked, trying his best to make something of a business deal and I folded my hands together, wanting to jump into the conversation, but unable to figure out where I could.

The man looked as if he was thinking, shaking his head before saying, “I don't know if we'd be interested in that type of thing... We haven't had that much snow these past few years and from what I've seen, most of our stores have to the winter items such as that on discount in the middle of the season.”

“What about right now?” I piped up and my father stared at me with wide eyes. My voice didn't falter as I spoke, swallowing before I continued, “I know it's early in autumn, but there's a new ski lodge opening up soon just about an hour from here. If you sell our products, then people will be more likely to buy them; it'll be cheaper than renting and from what I've heard, the lodge is going to be open all year and they'll be producing artificial snow during the warmer months.”

The man stared at me before nodding his head, glancing at my father before saying, “I forgot about that, that was opening soon. I heard it's going to start drawing quite a few tourists to this area also; the city is looking to boost small businesses finally,” he smiled softly before continuing, “I'll have to think about it for a little bit, but I'll be sure to give you a call when I decide.”

Father smiled, pulling out his business card before exchanging it with the man and as the two of us walked away, he clapped his hand on my shoulder before saying, “What has gotten into you, Frost? I haven't heard you say something about the company since your mother and I started bringing you with us when you were sixteen.” He seemed proud as he smiled and I gave a nervous chuckle.

“Spencer was helping me out the other day when we discussed what to do during these events. He suggested that I try to be more helpful with the business since I'll be taking it over one day,” I said, knowing that I was only speaking the words that he had been wanting to hear for a long time.

Even though what I said was a lie, I knew that if I kept talking about how much I wanted to work with the business and how I planned on running it one day, it would keep my parents off of my back for a little bit. I had no interest in owning the company, but I would do what I had to in order to continue working with my art.

“That's great to hear, son,” he said, smiling widely as my mother approached me, a woman following close behind her. She had a look on her face that told me that she was about to announce something she found great and my chest tightened when she stopped in front of me.

“Frost, I was talking to one of my old friends and I wanted to introduce you to her daughter,” she said before leaning down to whisper, “I know you don't have much interest in dating right now, but please be nice to her; I'd like to have a few grandchildren one day.”

My face flushed crimson with her words and my eyes found the younger female that was standing next to her, my heart stopping. Two different colored eyes stared at me while the woman's hair was pulled back away from her face, a deep purple dress hugging her figure as she smirked.

“I knew we'd meet again by the end of the week, Mr. Hillary,” Mirimi said softly.

I remembered that Spencer had said something about her family being close associates with his, but I wasn't expecting to see her here, especially after she acted as if she had no interest in and wasn't forced to attend parties such as these. I stared at her, unable to say anything as my father called out, “Ah, is this the young lady that you've been telling me so much about lately, Genni? Also, did you happen to talk to Mr. Jacko about our agreement?”

My eyes found my parents as I tried to figure out what my father was referring to before I looked back at Mirimi. I didn't know what to say as she walked towards me, whispering in my ear a blur of words that I couldn't comprehend; I knew what she was saying, but I couldn't wrap my mind around what she meant.

Feeling sick, I loosened my tie, heading out of the room as quickly as I could before running into one of the men from earlier, the one who was staring at me while I was making the business deal. His green eyes watched me carefully as I tried to mutter a small, “Excuse me,” continuing to make my way out to where I could get a breath of fresh air.

I had failed to do what Spencer had taught me and I had failed to show my mother that I was working towards being a more “perfect” human being. Was this kind of thing even possible or was I going to be stuck with them looking down on me for the rest of my life?