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She sighed as she sat in the warm water. She leaned her head against the cool ceramic of the tub as she exhaled. Nothing made sense anymore. Her life, as she saw it, was just an unmentionable speck of waste. The things she did and the people she let down just seemed like nothing would ever be the same.

Why should she even be here if she was only in the way? There was nothing for her anyways. Her parents didn’t care what happened to her; they threw her out of their house when she turned eighteen. She didn’t have siblings that cared; they were always to busy with their lives to even notice her. And finally, she didn’t have a man in her life to look out for her, or to love her.

But there was one thing that she had that made her want to stay alive. It was the unborn child that would soon be brought into the world in just a few short weeks. Yet she knew who the father was, she wouldn’t let him know. He had his own life to keep and she knew if she intervened with this news, she’d mess up his life completely.

She decided she needed a change. If she was going to be any kind of mother, she would have to take the chance she didn’t want to take. If her child could have any kind of life, it should’ve been with the right way, with both parents involved.

Smiling to herself, she decided things could’ve been worse. She needed to try to make things right again and to try to be a mother. What better way to start off than telling the father that he was about to become a father?

When I saw her, I didn’t recognize her at first. There had been so many of them coming and going that it was hard to keep track of which one was which. Something about her was different; noticeably different. She was pregnant. Very pregnant. She was probably ready to pop any day now.

She walked in, looking confident but still insecure. How she got past security surprised me, but I wasn’t about to ask questions. Visibly pregnant, she was still an attractive girl. I smiled at her as she approached me.

“Hi,” I said sticking my hand out to her.
“Hi,” she said blandly not touching my hand. I pulled my hand back uneasily.
“So,” I said glancing around uncomfortably. “What’s your name?” I asked running a hand through the side of my hair.
“That hurts,” she said and paused. I looked at her confused. “That you don’t even remember me,” she said sadly. “I guess you’re not the guy I expected you to be all these years.”
“Do I know you from somewhere?” I asked uncertain.
“I’ve only been a fan of yours for seven years,” she sighed. “And you had no problem getting me into bed about….nine months ago,” she said.
“Well, refresh my memory for me,” I said, her words making no sense to me.
She sighed, and gave a painfully hurt look. “My name is Joanna. I had backstage at the Avalon when you and your brothers came here nine months ago. You said you found me irresistible and asked if you could treat me to a drink. That drink turned into a night of drinks and then I found myself naked in your hotel bed the next morning with you already checked out. We never exchanged numbers, emails, or fax numbers. There have been so many times that I wanted to talk to you, but couldn’t because I had no way of contacting you. I found out when you were due to be in town and here I am,” she said. “I have to tell you something before it’s too late.”
“I remember you now,” I said to her. “You are beautiful. And I see you’ve changed a lot since our last meeting,” I smiled and made a notion to her belly. “Congrats,” I said.
“Are you that blonde?” she asked. “Did you not just listen to my story?” she asked a little bitterness shining through.
“Yes I did,” I said. “And I’m glad you wanted to see me again. I’m glad you forgive me for leaving you that morning.”
“Isaac, you obviously didn’t listen to me or else you would’ve heard an important part that you’re missing out on,” she said in an exasperated tone. “Did you not hear when I said we slept together nine months ago?”
“I heard that,” I said.
“Look at me. What does that tell you?” she cried. I thought about it and then it hit me.
“It isn’t,” I said. “It can’t be.”
“Don’t deny it, Isaac. I will not allow my child to grow up without a father. Or at least one who doesn’t pay for it,” I said.
“You don’t even know if I am the father!” I yelled in a hushed tone so no one would hear us. “For all I know, you could be a slut.” A hand reached out and slapped my face.
“Don’t ever talk to me that way,” she said. “I may have made mistakes but that does not mean I’m a bad person,” she said with anger in her eyes. “I know you are the father because unlike you, I don’t sleep around. And if you are proven, I will take you to court if I have to,” I said.

I looked around at all the hot girls walking around, talking to my brothers and other band members. It was then I realized what my actions were doing to not only to me, but to the women I slept with. It was time I faced my fears and did what was right.

“Fine, I’ll go for a blood test, but if I’m not the father then we’re through. If I am, I’ll help any way I can.”
“Give me your number,” she instructed. She reached for her purse and found a pen. She gave me the pen then held her hand out. I wrote my hotel number and handed her the pen. “Expect a call from me,” she said.
She leaned up on her toes, cupped my head in her hands, pulled my face to hers and kissed me; long and passionately. She kissed me for what seemed like an eternity until she pulled away and gave me a look and walked away.

Suddenly I was infatuated by her.

She screamed in pain as another contraction came up. It had been a week and a half since she talked with Isaac and he had done nothing to prove that he was a true man. She figured she’s do what she planned on doing all along; raising her child on her own and fighting the man who was the father.

Just as another contraction came, her door opened. “Doctor, I think I need an epidural,” she half screamed.
“Do you want me to tell the doctor?” Her contraction nearly disappeared when she heard his voice.
“Would you?” she asked feeling a little relived.
“Sure,” he said and left. A few moments later he returned. “They are on their way,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought about it and I want to be a part of you and the baby’s life. I figured out that I need to change my habits and my doings,” he said and paused uneasily. “I need to change myself and become a better person.”
“I feel the same way,” she said. She reached out for his hand. “I really appreciate this.”
He smiled. “I know.”

Soon, she screamed in agony as another contraction came. She tightened her grip on his hand and he suddenly felt that what he was doing was a good thing.

“Are you sure you want to know for sure?” I asked her.
“Don’t you?” she asked. “I mean, don’t you want to be apart of this baby’s life?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“We’re ready for you Mr. Hanson,” a nurse said coming into the room.
“Okay,” I said. I leaned down and took a look at the small baby girl wrapped in her arms.

A little while later I was in the room with the sleeping mother and baby. Two hours later, the tests results were hand delivered to her room.

“Thank you,” I said as I took the envelope from the doctor’s hands. He nodded and walked off. “Hey,” I said softly leaning down to wake her. She groggily looked up at me.
“What?” she asked.
“Want to know for sure?” I asked with a smile.
“It’s here, isn’t it?” she asked and sat up a little.
“Yep,” I said. I ripped open the seal and pulled out the paper. Opening the fold, I read the words on the page. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I let it go to read the results to her. “Isaac Hanson, you are the father,” I read aloud.

I heard her sigh beside me. My eyes filled with tears as I looked at the little baby girl in the bassinet beside her mother. After three long years of watching Taylor raise his little boy, I being the oldest, finally had a child of my own.

Now I knew what had to be done. I had a new family and I had to teach myself the meaning of loyalty and faith. I had to fall in love with this woman and be the man she deserved to have.

But could I do it?