I'll Make You See It Was All Real

Lucy’s Pov

“Lucy you should eat some breakfast” Dad says and I look up from the couch as he puts the room service food on the table. “I’m not really hungry Dad” I say. My stomach has been in knots since yesterday. I can’t get the image of Tina’s coffin going through the purple curtain. “At least have some juice” he says and I sigh. “Fine” I say and wrap my shawl around my body and stand from the couch. I walk over to the table and take a seat. I can feel is eyes on me so I pick up the glass of juice and take a sip.

“Happy” I smile. “I don’t normally have to persuade you to eat or drink” he says. “I’m just not hungry lately” I say. “It’s the shock” he says. “Ya I guess” I say. “You did very well yesterday. I know how hard it was for you” he says. “I didn’t do that well by the end” I say remembering how I had tried to run out only for Cristiano to catch me. The tears that I had been holding in all day flooded and it really hit me that I was never going to see Tina ever again.

“Did Cristiano go back to Manchester last night?” he asks. “Ya he had training today” I say. “I didn’t expect him to come” he says. “Neither did I” I say. “But you were glad he came though?” he asks. Was I? I don’t think I could have got through the cremation part without him.

“It was still Tina’s funeral no matter who was there or not” I say. “Still it must have made it easier having him there?” he asks. “What’s with all the questions about him Dad?” I ask. “You’re my daughter. I worry about you. And…” he stops to think. “And what?” I ask. “And you need people around who care about you and I think he does” he says. “It doesn’t matter if he does. Too much as happened. And my relationship with him is the last thing on my mind right now” I say. “Lucy” he says.

“Dad please. I’ll be fine. I can take of myself” I say. “That’s something you and Tina share” he says. “You mean shared and what would that be?” I ask. “Stubbornness” he says. “You’re one to talk” I smile. “Maybe you should come back to New York with me today. I checked and there’s room on the plane” he says. “Dad I can’t. Josh isn’t able to manage work right now and someone needs to be there” I say. “Not even for a week. Lucy you need to talk about how you feel about all this” he says.

“My best friend is dead and it sucks. That enough for you” I say standing from the table. “Lucy” he shouts as I make my way to my room. “I have plenty of friends around me Dad. You don’t have to worry. And if I feel like I need a break then I’ll come to visit you and Lisa” I say turning to face him. “Then talk to them” he says. “And say what. How angry I am that all of this happened? I already did yesterday and I still don’t feel any better” I say. “Who?” he asks. “Who what?” I ask confused.

“Who did you tell that you were angry?” he asks crossing his arms. I sigh. “Lucy” he says. “Cris” I mutter. "I thought it might have been him. He was gone along time looking for you yesterday” he says. “He was just in the wrong place and right time. It doesn’t mean anything” I say turning to walk.

“You told him about Lacey” Dad says and I stop. “You never even told Tina about how your sister really died. That might mean something. All I’m saying is don’t push him away. I know he hurt you but he cares about you. So do his family. Just let them all be there for you please. You might not want anything from him, but let him be a friend at least. It would make it easier from me to leave you in England if you did” he says.

“I’ll think about it” I say and head to my room.

How can I be friends with Cristiano?

“We can manage you know. You should go home early” Matt says from his seat in front of my desk. “I’m fine. Let’s get the budget for the designs done” I say holding up the papers on my desk. “How’s Josh?” he asks and I drop the papers and lean back against my chair.

“He’s taking care of his parents. It’s his way of coping I guess. I don’t know when he’ll be back though. Luke says next week but I don’t know” I say. I had spoken to Josh infrequently since I had left London on Friday. I understood though. He was trying to his mind around losing his sister. “There’s no rush. You and him had a lot covered before…” he stammers. “Before Tina died. I know but everything needs to be right here for when he gets back” I say covering my mouth with my hand as a yawn escaped my mouth. “Why don’t I take you out for lunch tomorrow? We can talk about something other than work and Tina. Or Tina if that’s what you want” he asks.

“Keep asking her and she’ll gave in eventually” a voice says from the door and I see Elena standing there. “Hello Elena” I say. “Hi guys” she says. “I’m trying to get her to go home early. She doesn’t need to do full days. She can ease back in” Matt says. “I’ve been telling her that all weekend. She even came in to the office on Saturday” Elena says. “Hello she is here you know” I say. I hate people talking about me like I’m not here. “Well you won’t be for long. I’ve taken the afternoon off. So you have to come with me” Elena says. “You didn’t have to do that Elena. You’ve already missed a lot of work with Tina’s funeral” I say.

“Well I want to take you somewhere so yes I did” she says. “Where?” I ask. “I’ll tell you later” she says her eyes flicking to Matt and back to me again. “The boss has spoken you better do as your told” Matt jokes. “Fine since I have a feeling I won’t get any work done because you two won’t let me then I’ll go” I say. “Good” Elena smiles. “Give me ten minutes though. There’s just a couple of things I have to do in Josh’s office and then you can take me ok” I say to Elena. “Don’t be long” she warns.

Twenty minutes later and I find Elena at the elevator. “I know I said ten minutes but you’re lucky I agreed to leave so you can’t get annoyed with me” I say. “Whatever. Let’s go” she says as we step into the lift. “So have you spoken to Cris much?” she asks. “I replied to some of his texts” I say. “Some” she says. “I’m not in the best form to talk to him. I said I’d meet Dolores though when she comes soon though” I say. “She’s been annoying him to take care of you” Elena laughs. “I don’t need taking care of. And how do you know she’s been annoying him?” I ask.

“Jack’s found a new friend apparently. And he may have phoned me to see how you really were” she says. “I bet Dad has too. Urgh I’m fine” I say as the lift opens in the lobby. “You’ve barely eating or slept the last few days. Jezz you looked awful yesterday when I dropped around to the apartment” she says. “Thanks” I say.

“Do you think you should be staying there?” she asks. Both Jack and Elena had tried to persuade me not to stay at mine and Tina’s apartment when we arrived back in Manchester on Friday. But I didn’t want to anywhere else. It was hard seeing all Tina’s belongings knowing she would never use them again. Not to mind knowing that I’ll have to pack them up at some point. But been in the place where we had such good times was a comfort. Although everytime I attempt to go into her bedroom I always end up feeling nauseous. And I haven’t slept much.

“I’m not leaving. Where are we going?” I ask as we reach her car. She opens the door and hops in without saying a word. “Elena” I say getting into her passenger side. “Just put your seatbelt on” she says. “Elena tell me where we are going or I’m going back to work” I say. “Fine just don’t be annoyed” she says. “Why do I have the feeling I’m not going to like this?” I ask. She’s not taking me to see Cris is she?

“I made an appointment with your doctor. You haven’t been sleeping or eating. And if you’re so insistent on working then you need to be physically able. I figured she might give you some sleeping tablets or something to help you relax” she says. “Oh. It might be worth a try” I say. “Exactly. Where did you think I was taking you?” she asks. “Hadn’t any idea” I say. It’s good she’s not taking me to see him. Ya it is.

I really hate going to the doctors I think as I sit in the doctor’s office with Elena next to me. My doctor had taken some bloods and checked me over and we were waiting for her to get back. “Will you stop” Elena says. “Stop what?” I ask. “Bouncing you knee. She’ll be back in soon and then we can go” she says. “I hate waiting and I hate doctors’ offices and…-

“And you also hate not sleeping so suck it up and wait. As soon as she comes back and prescribes you some sleeping tablets we can go” she says. “Maybe I should just wait and see if my sleeping pattern gets better. I hate taking tablets” I say. “Lucy you haven’t really been sleeping well since you and Cris broke up. That’s a long time. Even the doctor was concerned about you weight and the stress you have had lately” she says.

“Why did I bring you in with me again?” I groan. “So you wouldn’t have to repeat everything the doctor said” she smiled and I roll my eyes. The door opens and my doctor walks in and takes a seat behind her brown desk. “Sorry about the wait, I needed to double check something” she says. “It’s ok Dr. Madison” I smile and Elena half snorts.

“So can I go now? I’d like to get to the pharmacy before it shuts” I say. “There’s no rush. I can’t prescribe you any tablets anyway. Not in your condition” she says. “I’m sorry. What condition?” I ask.

“You’re pregnant” she said.