I'll Make You See It Was All Real

Lucy’s Pov

“So why have you being avoiding Cristiano all night?” Coleen asks taking a seat next to me at the table. “I haven’t” I lie. “So what was all that about earlier with I have bad taste in boyfriends?” she asks and I raise an eyebrow at her. “Wayne told me” she says. “Coleen just leave it. Go have fun. It’s your birthday” I say. “Yes it is my birthday so you have to do what I want. So tell me” she smiles.

“She called him tonight” I say trying not to hear that voice again in my head. “Who?” Coleen asks. “Please don’t make me say her name. I feel sick as it is” I say. “No way. Merche phone him” she asks and I nod. “I answered it. He told me he was never with her. Then she tells me to tell him that she’ll see him in a few weeks. I can’t believe that I actually started to believe him” I say. “Oh Lucy” Coleen says. “I thought that maybe we could so slow and then maybe… Oh what’s the point if he’s still going to be cheating on me” I say.

“Lucy I’m sure there’s an explanation for all this” Coleen says. “Ok answer me this question since I know that you have doubted he cheated on me all along. I know you have so don’t deny it. And it’s ok cos I had too” I say trying not cry as Coleen takes my hand in hers. “Why would she be phoning him?” I ask. “I don’t know” she says.

I manage to avoid Cris for the rest of the night but the girls have started to wear me out with all the dancing. “I never lasted this long into a night out when I was pregnant” Leanne says as I take a sip of water. “I’m hardly going to argue with the birthday girl. Plus it’s keeping me awake” I say taking a seat.

“Well if you are tired then maybe you should let him take you home” Leanne says nodding over my shoulder as Cristiano appears behind my chair. “Cristiano” she says. “Leanne” he says. “I’m just going to…” she mumbles leaving me alone with Cris. “You look like you are having fun” he says taking a seat. “ I was” I say turning my head to look back out onto the dance floor. “Lucy” he says. “I’m not having this conversation here” I snap. “Then let me take you home” he says. “And why would I want to be stuck in a car with you?” I asks facing him.

“Because it’s late. You are tired and it wasn’t long ago that you were in hospital” he says and I sigh. “So will you please let me drive you home?” he asks. “Fine. But don’t talk to me” I say standing and heading to find Coleen to say goodbye. I know he won’t stop annoying me if I don’t go with him. And I just want to go home and forget this night.

“I told you to go home” I yell searching for my keys in my purse as I get nearer to my front door. “And I told you not until we have talked” he says taking the purse from my fingers. He finds the keys and sticks them into the lock. He pushes open the door and walks in holding it open for me. Ass he’s making sure I don’t slam the door in his face I think as I walk into my apartment.
“I’m too tired. So please leave” I say standing on one leg as I take off my shoe.

“And come back when? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? We need to talk now. You said we would talk after the party” he says. “Fine. You want to talk. Then talk” I shout throwing my shoes onto the floor.

“I don’t-

“No I’ll start. Is she better than me?” I ask. “What?” he asks. “Is she better than me? Does she kiss better? What is it? What does she have that I don’t?” I ask. “Nothing. She has nothing. She’s not you” he says. “Then why? Why go behind my back? Were you having too much fun laughing behind my back?” I ask. “Lucy I swear nothing has ever happened between me and Merche since I met you” he says. “Then what the fuck was she doing in your house that day?” I shout. “I don’t know” he says.

“Not fucking good enough” I yell. “Lucy” he says attempting to move closer to me. “Do you know how many times I’ve pictured her. You with her. How many times I have replayed seeing her standing there in your house wearing nothing but that shitty United jersey of yours. How many times I have replayed our relationship in my head. Both the real and fake ones. Or the two fakes ones as it turns out” I say.

“It was never fake. Ever” he says. “But both were a lie” I say. “Luce” he says. “I asked myself what did I do wrong? Was I not pretty enough? Why wasn’t I enough for you?”I I ask. “You were. You are” he says. “I actual understood” I say. “Understood what?” he asks. Understood why you lied about dropping the charges against Tina. The day you told me how you loved me from the moment you first heard me laugh. Jezz I actually believed you. Well done Cris. You really fooled me with that lie” I say shaking my head.

“No Lucy” he says. “I thought you fooled me before” I say. “Listen to me” he says catching my hand in his. “This belongs to you. No one else ever” he says holding my hand to his heart. “It’s all just cheap words” I say snapping my hand out of his grasp.

“I love you. I don’t want her. I have never wanted her. I don’t know why she was even phoning me” he says. “Why don’t you phone her and find out. You don’t have to sneak around now that I know. You can do what you want” I say.

“Lucy” he says. “I can’t believe that I doubted…” I mumble turning away from him. “Lucy if you doubt than you know it’s not true” he says.

"You know me. You know how much I want you. How much I love waking up with you next me. How gorgeous you look with my necklace around your neck" he says. "Well I threw it away so you won't be seeing that again" I snap. "You threw away a 15 grand necklace" he says in shock. "15. Who the fuck buys someone they barely know a some necklace that costs that much. We barely knew each other when you gave me that" I say. "It wasn't just some necklace" he mutters.

“Just get out Cristiano” I say. “No” he says. “Go to her. Or whoever. I really don’t care” I say. “Really you don’t care. Then why are we having this conversation?” he asks and I turn to face him.

“Why does it bother you if she’s ringing me if you don’t care? You and I aren’t together anymore. I can see and speak to who ever I like” he says. “You’re right we aren’t together. Not that it stopped you before. So go date who ever you like” I say.

“It bothers you cos you want me. Cos you love me” he says. “No I don’t. I don’t want you. Go find Merche. Take her out in the open. Parade her down the streets. I hope you and her will be very happy together” I shout. “Fine” he says and my eyes go wide.

“I’ll go to her. She clearly fights for what she wants. Unlike you” he says and storms out of my apartment.

I walk to my bedroom and flop onto my bed as tears begin to fall down my cheeks. It was meant to be the start of something new I think clutching my pillow. My fingers hit something hard and I lift the pillow to find a rectangle box underneath. I wipe my teary eyes and flick on the bedside lamp. “Oh” I say as I open the box. My finger slides over the sliver and I notice a note underneath.

“Something new to start our something new- Love Cris xxx

I shut the box close and cry myself to sleep.