I'll Make You See It Was All Real

Cris’s Pov

The doors open and I walk down the corridor until I reach the door I want. I have no idea how I ended up here. I just got in the car and drove. And drove until I ended up here. I ring the bell and wait. And wait. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea I think beginning to turn when the door opens suddenly.

“Cris” Lucy says softly. I turn and she looks at me. She tilts her head to the right and sighs before taking a step back and opens the door to allow me walk through. I walk towards her living room until I’m standing in the middle completely lost. “Cris” Lucy whispers and I rub the back of my neck as I turn to find her standing in her red night dress with a confused and worried looking face.

“I……” I stutter. I can’t say the words. I can’t tell her that Maé is sick. “Cris talk to me” she pleads soflty. I walk the short steps until I’m standing inches away from her. I push some of her hair behind her ear and stroke her cheek. “I don’t want to talk” I whisper leaning down as my lips touch hers. I sense her surprise at my kiss but she doesn’t pull away. I hold the back of her neck as I kiss her before breaking the kiss. I rest my forehead against her as I try to block out all the bad thoughts which have been swirling around my head since Maé told me. I can feel my body shaking as I stroke the back of her neck. She pulls back and I drop my hand from the back of her neck. Telling Lucy will make it real. I can’t say the words. It can’t be real. It can’t. I close my eyes.

I feel Lucy’s hand run down the side of my face and I tilt my cheek into her open palm. I open my eyes and straight into her blue eyes. She tilts her head as she bites her lip. She reaches up and places a light kiss on my lips before dropping her hand from my cheek. She takes my right and squeezes it tight as it shakes in her grip. She starts to walk and I follow her out of the living room. She drops her hand once her leg touches the bed. “Luce” I whisper. “Sssh” she whispers as her hands come around my neck and I kiss her.

“I didn’t come here for that” I say lying next to her in her bed after a kiss wasn’t enough. “And I didn’t mean for that to happen again” she says as we both stare up at the ceiling. We lay in silence for what feels like hours.

“Maé has breast cancer” I whisper closing my eyes as the words come out of my mouth in disbelief that I’m saying them.

“I know” Lucy says and my eyes fly open and I sit up in the bed. “You know” I shout. “Cris let me explain” she says sitting up pulling the covers around her. “Explain that you lied to me. That you all lied to me” I yell. “I only found out today I swear. I met you mother and sister at the hospital. She didn’t want to tell you. I made her tell you. I hated making her but I couldn’t lie to you about that. I told her I would tell you if she didn’t. I hated doing that but..” she pauses as tears build up in her eyes. I rub my eyes and lay back down on the bed.

“She has cancer” I say. “I’m so sorry” Lucy says. “I can’t lose her” I say holding my arm across my face. “Cris the chances of that happening are small” she says. “Losing Papi was the hardest thing I have ever been through. But losing Maé is unimaginable” I say. Lucy pulls the arm of my face and I look at her. “It’s a shock but she said the doctors think she’ll make a full recovery” she says. “Think. What good is that?” I snap. “Cris” she says. “I can’t believe this is happening” I say. “You heard what your mother said. She is being positive about her treatment” she says and I close my eyes and stare up at the ceiling.

“She did explain everything?” Lucy asks. “I didn’t really give her a chance” I say. “Oh Cris” Lucy says. “I was angry” I say. “How did you react?” she asks. “Said something about her keeping secrets and I left” I say. “You just left” she says in surprise. “I grabbed my keys and drove. And just kept driving” I say. “You really do love storming out. Don’t you?” she mumbles.

“Guess we both have a habit of avoiding things, then don’t we?” I snap. “Really. You are seriously turning this into you and me” she says. “There is no you and me remember” I snap. She holds the sheet tightly around her and moves to the side of the bed. “Lucy” I say. “Here” she says throwing my jeans at me. Great like today wasn’t bad enough now she hates me too. “Ring, text. I don’t care. Just let someone at your house know that you are ok” she says.

“How can I be alright?” I ask. “Just do it Cris. Dolores has enough to deal with without worrying about you too. This is the whole reason she didn’t want to tell you in the first place” Lucy says. “Ok fine” I say pulling my phone from my pocket. “Tell Maé I need time to think” I text Elma. “And not to worry” I send another.

“Happy” I say to Lucy as I place my phone on the side table. “Nothing about this makes me happy Cris” she says. “What am I going to do?” I ask. “You are going to go home and talk calmly to your mother” she says. “Go home now?” I ask not wanting to leave right now. “You both need some time to think and calm down. So no. Not right now” she says. “I know that it’s inevitable that one day Maé won’t be with us but not this soon” I say. “Cris we just have to trust the doctors and hope and pray” Lucy says. “Thank you for making her tell me” I say. “I’m not sure I deserve it” she says.

“Come here” I say pulling her head to the pillow. I tuck my arm around her waist. “Maé knows why you did what you did. And I’m thankful that you did. Now that I know. Well now I can be there for her” I say. “Well don’t be bugging her like you do me about doctors and if she’s feeling ok. Let her talk to you” she says. “I’ll take that on board. Are you ok? You’ve had a shock too” I ask. “Hearing those words come from her mouth knocked me for six I can’t deny that. But I know everything will be ok” she says. “And you’re always right. Aren’t you?” I smile. “You should know I am by now” she smiles.

“The hospital” I say sitting up. “Careful” she says. “You met Maé at the hospital. Why were you there? Are you ok? Is the baby ok?” I ask in a rush. “Cris I’m fine. The baby and I are both fine. I was there cos Lizzy fell” she says and I sigh in relied. “Good” I say as she yawns. “Sorry I woke you” I say laying my head next to hers.

“I wasn’t really asleep. Had too much on my mind” she says as I run my finger down her bare arm. “Can I stay here tonight?” I ask and I feel a kick against my side. “Think babba might want me to” I smile. “Like you were planning on leaving anyway” she mutters as her eyes close.