I'll Make You See It Was All Real

Cris’s Pov

“Cristiano” Nuno yells and I rush down the stairs. “Come now” he yells and I run two steps at the time. “Nuno” I say rushing to the hall. “Lucy” I gasp. Her hair is wet. Her coat hanging loose. Tears in her eyes as her body shakes. “Lucy” I say rushing to her and I pull her close to me. Her arms come around my waist loosely as my arms hold her tight. I can feel her whole body shaking. What’s happened I think as the worst possibilities go around my head. “I switched off her car” Nuno says shutting the front door.

“Is she ok?” he asks and I don’t know how to answer him. “Lucy” I whisper easing my arms up. I hold her chin so she looks at me but her eyes are blank. She’s numb. Her whole body is numb. “Let’s get you out of these clothes” I say. “Do you want me to call anyone?” Nuno asks concerned. “I’ve got her” I say as she stays close by side as I turn and walk back towards the stairs. We walk to my room and into the bathroom.

“Let’s get you out of these clothes” I say as she stands in my bathroom looking completely lost. Her hands shake at her side and I move to unhook the two closed buttons of her coat. She lets me shrugged the coat off her all with a blank look on her face. She’s so quiet. I have no idea what has happened but I need for her to talk soon or I won’t be able to cope myself. I wrap a towel around her and gently rub her arms.

“I’ll find you something to wear” I whisper placing a kiss on her forehead. I hesitate leaving her but she needs something dry and warm to wear. More importantly it might give her enough time to able to talk to me. I’ve never seen her like this I think as I walk quickly to a chest of drawers and pull out a Nike shirt of mine. Actually I have seen her like this once before. The night Tina died.

“Oh God” I mutter rushing back to the bathroom as horrible thoughts swirl around my head. I find Lucy where I left her expect tears are flowing down her cheeks. “Luce” I say holding her cheek in the palm of my hand. “Lucy what has happened?” I ask and she her teary eyes stare up into my face. “Baby” she whispers and my stomach drops. “What about the baby? Lucy answer me please. Is the baby ok? Did something happen?” I ask holding her by the shoulders. “The baby…I’m not going to be….The baby will leave me…” she stutters. “Leave you? What? Lucy answer me. Has something happened to make you think that there’s something wrong with the baby? Have you fallen?” I ask desperate for an answer.

“No” she says. “No you haven’t fallen?” I ask. “Yes..I mean..” she stutters. “Have you fallen? Yes or No?” I ask. “No” she says. “Ok let’s get you into this shirt and into bed” I say. “Cris” she says as lift the bottom of the shirt she is wearing. “Let’s get you changed and then we can talk. Ok?” I ask and she nods. She raises her hands over her head as I lift the shirt and I quick pull the Nike shirt over her body. Thankfully she didn’t get too wet by the rain and doesn’t need a shower. Once she’s dressed, I take her by the hand and we walk towards my bed. I pull back the covers and she slides in. I quickly walk around to my side of the bed and lay beside her. She turns to face me. I stroke her cheek with my thumb. “Lucy tell me what has you so upset please” I beg.

“The baby” she whispers. “You said the baby was fine. I can get a doctor to look at you to make sure it is” I say. “I had a fight with Josh” she whispers. “With Josh. Wait then what about the baby. Lucy you’ll have to explain this to me please” I say confused. “I’ve been thinking about sorting through Tina’s room” she says with a sob. “Oh” I say knowing how hard that must be for her to think about not to mind eventually doing.

“I told Josh today” she says. “And he didn’t like it?” I ask already knowing the answer. “He says that I’m forgetting about her. That I want to wipe all memory of her. That’s it’s my fault she’s not here…” she sobs. “Lucy it’s not your fault” I say. “I….went to bed and….

“You had a nightmare” I say and she nods. “Lucy have you had many nightmares recently?” I ask wondering if that’s the reason for the way she’s been acting lately. Needed and tired and lost. “Some” she whispers. “Oh Luce you should have told me” I say kissing her forehead. “They weren’t that bad. Just little memories of Lacey and Tina” she says. “But tonight?” I ask and she begins to cry hard. I pull her close to me until her head is resting on my shoulder and stroke her arm as she cries. “Lucy please tell me what you dreamt tonight” I ask once her crying has subsided. “I had given birth. Tina was holding him in her arms and was cooing over him” she says. Him? Does that mean she thinks the baby is a boy?

“I asked could I hold him and she shook her head. She told me that I’m forgetting about her. Now that I have the baby I’ll forget even more” she cries. “Lucy that’s not going to happen. It was just a nightmare sweetie” I say. “She said she was taking him. That they would mind each other and she took him. She took my baby. Everyone I love leaves me” she cries and I sit us up in the bed.

“Lucy listen to me” I say holding my hands on either side of her head. “You are not and could never forget about Tina. Josh is just angry and upset. He doesn’t mean to hurt you” I say as her eyes flicker away from my face. “Look at me” I say and her eyes fix on mine once more. “I can’t lay here and promise you that everything will be alright. That the baby will be ok” I say and she sobs. “I can’t promise something that’s not in my hands. But listen to me carefully. You have got to stop thinking like this. Stop thinking about the bad things that could happen and start thinking about the future. About having the baby. About seeing him or her grow up” I say.

“But” she says. “No buts. Lucy if and that’s a million times big if. Something happens to the baby. We will get through it together. You and me. I am here. I’m not going anywhere. But worrying is not helping Luce. The stress can’t be could now can it?” I ask. “I can’t help…When I close my eyes” she stutters. “I know sweetie. I know. Have you gotten much sleep recently” I ask. “A little. Mostly when..” she pauses. “When you relaxed and not thinking like after you and I have slept together” I say and she nods. “Lucy I don’t know what to say to make this ok but please you have got to stop worrying. The more you worry the higher the chance something will happen to worry” I say. “I’ll try but..” she pauses.

“It’s hard I know. If you have any more nightmares tell me. Talk to me” I say. “Ok” she whispers. “Let’s try and get some sleep” I say. “Cris” she whispers. “No more worrying. No more thinking. Just sleep. We can talk more tomorrow” I say placing a kiss on the top of her head.

I open my eyes. Last night scared me so much. She was so frightened. So scared about losing the baby. I thought I had made her realize she shouldn’t worry. I stroke her arm and smile as she her head rests on my chest. I smile at the thought that this is the first time that I have woken with Lucy in my arms since she walked out on me all those months ago. The first time we just slept in the bed. No sex no nothing just sleep. My alarm beeps and her head moves.

“Turn it off” she groans. “Good morning” I say as I tap the alarm off. “It can’t be morning already” she groans. “I’m afraid it is” I say and she groans. “So” she says. “So what?” I ask. “How long are you going to wait before you ask if I’m ok?” she asks her head resting on my chest. “Until you were less cranky” I smile and I can feel her smile against my chest as I run my fingers through her hair. “Did you sleep?” I ask. “When I stopped thinking” she says lifting her head. I push back her hair as she looks at me. “Plus I had a nice pillow” she smiles and I laugh. “And I didn’t have any more nightmares” she says. “That’s good” I say as she yawns. “I need to get ready for training” I say. “And I need to get to the office” she says.

“No” I say as she sits up in the bed. “Lucy to hell with work. You are staying here today and for as long as it takes for you to get some rest. And don’t even think about arguing with me Lucy. You scared the shit out of me last night so you owe me” I say in a rush as she stares open eyed at me. “Ok” she says. “Right then” I say as she lays back flat on the bed. I was not expecting that. “You catch up on some sleep. I’ll tell everyone not to bother you” I say getting out of the bed. Did she really just not argue with me I think as I walk to the bathroom? I pick up Lucy’s coat and shirt that she wore last night and shake my head at last night’s events. Something seriously dangerous could have happened to her and the baby last night.

Once I’m dressed, I find Lucy wrapped up in the blankets. “There’s a couple of your things in the dresser later when if you want to get dressed” I say trying not to think about the day Elena removed her stuff from my place. “You rest and I’ll see you later” I say heading towards the door. “Cris” Lucy calls out. “Ya” I say and she wags her finger to come towards her. “Are you alright? Do you need something?” I ask sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry I scared you” she says before placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Everything will be alright” I whisper. “Go and leave me get some sleep” she smiles. “I swear you only ever wanted me for my bed” I smirk. “It is comfy. Now shoo” she smiles.

“Cris” Maé says rushing to meet me at the bottom of the stairs. “She’s ok” I say. “Nuno told us that Lucy came last night. In that weather” Maé says. “She’s gone back to sleep” I say. “What made her act like that?” she asks. “It’s a long story Maé but what’s important is that she’s ok and she’s here. Just give her some space please. She has a lot to think about” I say. “If that’s what you think is best. Come eat something” she says. “I’m not that hungry. I just want to get to training so I can get back to Lucy” I say kissing her cheek. Back to make sure she knows everything will be alright. Shame it doesn’t always happen though.