Renegade

The look on Gabe's face says more than the words exiting his mouth. I peek over at Omelee to see if she's buying anything he's saying. He can tell I'm not believing a word he's saying, but he must know I have some knowledge on the background of the name Casandra. He tries to write off that this name is something new to run with and that he'll look into it. Omelee seems pleased with the work we did today, but I still have a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. Gabe excuses Omelee, but asks me to stay behind for a few minutes. We sit in complete silence for what seems like an eternity. I'm not sure if he's expecting me to say something to him, but I wait for him to address me.

Instead, he pulls out his phone and makes two calls. Telling the people on the other end to get their asses in the office now. He hangs up and rests his elbows on the desk. He interlocks his fingers and rests his head against his conjoined hands. He exhales a breathy sigh still not bothering to explain why he kept me behind.

The door swings open and Logan walks in puzzled to see the two of us sitting in an awkward silence. He looks between the two of us unsure of what's about to happen. Gabe doesn't acknowledge the fact he's entered and I give him a shrug. Shortly after, Quela stumbles in the room crashing into Logan. She mumbles a quiet apology as she finds her way into Hunter's office chair. Logan shuts the door behind him and leans against it with his arms folded across his chest. Gabe slams his fists down onto the desk and looks in Logan's direction.

"Fierce, I've got a bone to pick with you." Gabe attempts to sound tough, but it comes across as tired. My eyes shift toward Logan and then to the floor. "I thought you killed Casandra." I can feel him hesitating from across the room and silently begging Gabe to shut up.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He whispers. "Detope's in here." I look back over at him shaking my head. I get up from my chair and head toward the door feeling slightly irritated.

"Detope!" Gabe barks. "Sit your ass back down NOW!" I look up at Logan before turning around and sitting down. "Fierce, man the fuck up and please explain why she is still alive."

"What?" I watch as panic washes over Logan.

"Excuse me?" Quela jumps out of her seat. "Are you fucking serious?" She squeals. "I've been sleeping moderately okay at night because I thought she was dead and you're telling me this whole time she's been out there still tormenting people?" Logan falls to his knees, but I seem to be the only focused on him. "I can't believe this."

"I sent Phan and Detope here on a little assignment today and they found out that Casandra is still alive and has another operation going." He rises from his seat. "I want to look into this because if this is true, I have a gut feeling she's got a hold of Hunter." Gabe makes a face wishing he didn't say that to Quela.

She starts to explode with rage and worry directing it toward Gabe for assigning Hunter on retrieval duty with Lia. I get up from my seat and kneel down next to Logan who has become deaf on the whole conversation. I reach my hand toward his which surprises him. He looks up at me not paying attention to Quela and Gabe.

"I need to get out of here." He says barely audible compared to Quela's outburst behind me. I rest my hand against his cheek.

"Then we'll go." I respond noticing he's gone pale.

I help him off the floor as Quela and Gabe argue. They don't even notice us leaving. Logan keeps a good grip on my hand as we leave The Tunnel for the day. He drags his feet and he looks like he has an enormous weight on his shoulders. Casandra put him through hell, and finding out she's alive must turn his world upside down. I can't imagine what that must feel like, but I can make a few guesses.

He once freaked out when he thought I called him a murderer. I figured it was just his fever talking, but it was his guilty conscience. He has a good heart, but when it comes down to it, I don't blame him for taking action to kill her. I wanted to kill her myself when I had seen and heard about all the stuff she did, and I still don't know half of it. I don't think I'll ever know for sure what happened a couple years ago.

Logan mopes around the rest of the day. He stays confined in his room not speaking to me when I go back to check on him. I bite my already chewed nails as I sit against the wall outside his room. Kyra rests next to me just as worried as I am. She nudges me with her wet nose and paws away at the closed door. I reach my hand over and rub behind her ear.

"I know, sweetie." I whisper to her. "I'm worried about him, too."

I rise to me feet and walk to the kitchen. Kyra stares at me from down the hall unsure if she should stay or follow me. I reach into the back of the cupboard where my secret stash of cigarettes are hidden. I slip one out of the carton and head outside. I hear Kyra's loud steps and dog tags jingle as she races to go outside with me.

She leads the way as she gallops onto the fresh, green grass. She turns and looks at me expecting me to play with her. I sigh slowly sitting down on the patio chair. I wedge my cigarette between my lips as I slip my lighter out from my back pocket. I start to feel a little better once I feel the smoke exiting through my mouth and nose.

Lightning bugs illuminate the area creating a calm and peaceful atmosphere. I feel my body start to relax when a nightly breeze rushes in cooling down my warm body. I try to forget everything happening and focus on the relaxing nature which encases me at this very moment.

Even though it maybe excruciatingly hot, I've always enjoyed the summertime. Pixel and I used to spend our summer's together. Her family had a lake house which they invited me to every year. We'd spend our days swimming at the lake and our nights by the campfire roasting marshmellows and telling stories. We would have a fire every night, but we never ran out of stories. This is my fourth summer without her and I'm truly missing my best friend. I know I can't change the past, but going out to the tracks that night would be the one thing I would change.

The sliding door opens and I quickly wipe away the tears running down my cheeks. I look over my shoulder as Logan lethargically finds his way to the chair next to me. He holds a cigarette in his hand which I think is the first one he's had in weeks. He holds his hand out to me moving his fingers back and forth. I cough up my lighter and place it in his palm. He lights up his cigarette and tosses it back to me. He lets out a long, silent sigh and leans back in his chair. We sit in silence, but the nature around us keeps it from being too quiet.

"You okay?" I ask quietly, unsure if he's actually going to answer me or not.

"I'm better." He tilts his head so he's looking in my direction. "I just need to pull myself together. I'm trying to figure everything out and with my head spinning," he pauses, "I can't."

"Let me help you." I offer, putting my hand on his arm. He looks down at it seemingly surprised by my touch.

"No," he says shifting his arm away from me, "I'll be fine." I shake my head and chuckle with frustration.

"Why do you do this?" I raise my voice a little.

"Do what?"

"Shut me out. Just fucking talk to me."

"It's not easy for me." He runs his hand through his hair. "I can't handle anything going on, what makes you think you can?" He snarls.

"Because we're stronger together." I bark back. "Everything that happened with your dad, you said you needed me there because I made things easier for you." He looks away from me. "So why do you shut me out when it comes to Casandra?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Just," he chokes on his words, "just because."

"That's not an answer, Logan. Why? Why can't you talk to me about it?" I feel bad for yelling at him.

"Because I'm scared." He shouts at me. Everything around us falls silent. Logan takes one last puff before stomping out his cigarette. I scoot to the edge of my chair and I grab onto his hand. "I hate admitting it." He looks down shaking his head. "I'm scared of her. The things she did, what she's capable of, all of it horrifies me. And finding out today that she's still out there," he squeezes my hand, "has me shaking." I get up from my chair and move myself onto his lap.

"You have nothing to be scared of." I kiss his temple as I wrap my arm around his neck.

"That's easy for you to say." He rests his head on my shoulder.

"I'd kill her before she could even come close to touching you." I reassure him, but he still laughs at me. "What? I'm serious. I could take her."

"I bet you could." He humors me wrapping his arms around me.

I lean over and give him a soft, quick kiss. I rub my nose against his with a giggle before moving off of his lap, but he pulls me back with a sharp motion. He winds his arms around me pulling me into him so we're sharing one breath. A smile forms on my face remembering being in this exact position the first time we ALMOST kissed. I rest my hand at the base of his skull as he eases his way onto my lips. He shifts his hand down onto my thigh and keeps the other on the small of my back. He drags his fingers along my thigh and deepens his kiss. I let a giggle bubble from my throat knowing he feels better.

I shift my leg over to straddle him. He doesn't miss a beat as he slides his hand under my shirt and grips onto my side. I wince away with a slight yelp. His eyes shoot open when he realizes he just grabbed my stitches. He utters a soft apology on my lips before latching onto them again. He slides his hand down to match his other hand on the right side. He rises onto his feet carrying me into the house. I feel Kyra's fur rub against my bare feet as she follows us inside.

He slams me into the wall as I tug on the small hairs on the nape of his neck. I hear a loan moan come from his throat which catches me off guard. I grab the hem of his shirt and begin to pull it up. He keeps me pressed against the wall to assist me in getting his shirt off. I trace my fingers along his tattoos and faded scars. He runs his lips along my neck sending chills down my spine. I tilt my head up giving him my neck. He yanks my shirt up and over my head tossing it somewhere in the kitchen. He tries his best to avoid my left side, but he occasionally passes over it making me whimper.

He pulls me away from the wall and does a hell of a job keeping me upright. I think if it were anyone else, I would've fallen immediately. He carries me down the hall as he works his way up stopping at my ear to gnaw on it a little. I can't help but laugh since he knows it tickles. I feel his chest vibrate from his low laugh. I go soaring through the air as he throws me onto his bed and closes the door to keep Kyra out.

The doorbell ringing wakes me up. My eyes shoot open as I roll over and nudge Logan to get up. He groans shifting his head to face me. He looks at me with tired eyes and remembers the state we're in. He sighs pushing himself up off of his stomach and sits up. I stare up at his back and see his scars and fresh scratch marks along his shoulder blades. He leans over and slips on his pajama bottoms which he left in the middle of the floor. Kyra scratches at the door to make sure someone is on their way. He drags his feet to the door, down the hall, and out of my sight.

I tuck myself farther under the covers as it feels colder without him present. I hear the door open and Logan's voice, but I'm too tired to focus on what he's saying. Kyra runs in and jumps up on the bed licking my cheek. I throw the comforter over my face wishing to go back to sleep. It was the first time I've slept the whole way through the night and I want to experience it again. Kyra pops up and I feel her tail brush back and forth over my stomach.

"Phoe," Logan whispers as I sit up quickly keeping the blankets wrapped around my bare skin, "you may wanna get dressed." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Why?" I ask noticing the confusion on his face.

"Your mom is here."