Like a Ghost..

I take a long drag, sucking in all the relief I can. My lungs fill with nicotine and tar. I remove the fag from my lips and take a long deep breath and finally blow a grey cloud from between my lips. I throw the butt on the ground and stomp on it. The red light fading into nothingness. The soft sound of music bumps from the stage behind me and my whole body bumps with the bass. "Devin come on man," I hear a familiar voice shout at me, "We are on in five!" I turn to see who it is. His long hair hanging around his thin face and two black rings graced the side of his lips. His figure is small and frail, yet muscular in an odd way. I nod towards him and follow, almost running to get set.
I pick up my bass and tune it just slightly. I follow my friends out onto the stage. The bright lights blinding me a bit as I take my place next to my friend Chris. He yells to the audience and a loud roar of cheers sweep across the room. The music plays and I create the rhythm along with the pound of drums. My chest feels every bass strum and my feet feel the vibrations. This was my favorite part of music. Being able to feel everything.
The set finishes and I walk of stage trailed by all the guys. We head to the tour bus and I crawl into my bunk for a moment. "Hey Dev!" I hear Chris shout and I poke my head out. "We are going out to meet the fans. Wanna come?" He smiles. His lip rings glistening in the dim light of our tour bus. His smile still as charming as ever. "Sure, let me change," I smile back and hop to the floor. I slip on some black jeans and a worn doll shirt.
I run outside and meet the guys, who are already surrounded by girls. I glance to the small boy who called me to the stage. His name is Ricky, and wow did he make me flustered. I felt my cheeks blush as I hear a girl call my name.
"DEVIN!" She waves a piece of paper in the air and hands me a sharpie. "Can you sign this for me?" She smiles a weak smile and I nod. I write my name and hand it to her. She smiles with an obvious blush on her face. "Thank you thank you thank you!" She runs off getting lost in a sea of people.
We finish signing things and taking pictures. I hop back on the bus and everyone gets to their bunks. I lay down and stare into the wood paneling above me. Getting lost in thoughts of love and loss.
The curtain to my bunk gets drawn back and the small Ricky is there. "H-hey," he stutters scratching the back of his head begging to ask a question. "Can I-" he stops for a moment "Never Mind it's stupid." He turns to walk off and I grab his shoulder, "what's up," I whisper on accident. I am always quiet, but never whisper this low. Ricky looks at me with pale blue pleading eyes. "Can I-" he pauses "Stay with you tonight?" My heart skips a beat and I couldn't have waited any longer to reply. "Yeah, sure." I say. I move over in the small bunk and let him climb in next to me. "Thanks. I just couldn't be alone tonight..." His soft voice trails off and he rolls over. His back facing me. I want to hold him. I want to comfort him, but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know how I feel about him. I roll over so my back faces him and I hug the blanket close. How could I tell him, if I don't even know for sure?