Fallen

One, two three. One, two, three. One, two, three.

My feet pounding beneath me were screaming for me to stop and turn back, but I couldn’t. I had to get the thoughts and dreams out of my head. The more I ran, the less I thought about my dream. So until ALL I could think about was sitting down at work I was going to run. And then run some more.

Last night there had been a rare and rather loud lightning storm out here in the Mojave Desert that seemed to fill the entire night sky with darkness. I hadn’t seen clouds like that since the first flood. I had watched the clouds for a good hour as it lit up with brilliant colors of electrical bursts before I knew my body needed to sleep. I had work in the morning and the coffee cups weren’t going to fill themselves. With my coworker Charlie being pregnant it had gotten harder at work. I basically had to work two shifts when she was sick or just not feeling up to it what with the baby and all. I mean we weren’t exactly the IT spot to be out here in the middle of nowhere but when the truckers come through or there’s a desert concert out near us towards Central California we were pretty swamped.

I had turned away from the storm when there was a flash of white that seemed to fill the sky causing me to turn back around with my heart racing. There was a moments pause as I seemed to hold my breath. Then the sound of thunder filled my ears and turned away once more. That flash. I could have sworn it wasn’t a lightning flash. Last time I saw a flash that bright I was being thrown from Heaven down towards Earth with my wings burning up behind me. By the time I hit the dirt my wings were no longer a part of who I was.

I blinked back the tears and sweat that got into my eyes now. That was one of the most excruciating days of my immortal life. I had screamed at the skies begging for Father and my brothers to take me back before I fell to my knees sobbing weird liquid out of my eyes. I would later learn it was what humans did when they were angry, sad, or even happy.

Crying.

Such an odd thing to do. I had learned about bleeding not long after that, and for 3,000 years I had to learn the ways of the humans. One new thing I’ve recently learned about is this thing called a Job.

And it sucked.

I glanced at the sun as it ascended higher into the sky before I turned around and headed back for my trailer which I stayed in right behind the little diner I worked in.

By the time I made it back I was drenched in sweat but feeling better. My thoughts were returning to normal and I silently glad I had enough time for nice cold shower.

A couple of ancient SILVERSTREAM trailers were bathed in the eerie blue light of the night's final moments. It looked like the trailers haven't moved from this patch of barren ground in decades. A single strand of colored Christmas lights dot the trailers roof lines, marking the season. One of the trailer doors creak open and Jeep steps wearily out into the cool western morning. I looked where he was staring and saw nothing but desert for miles in all directions, save for a two lane highway and a weather beaten truck stop diner that Jeep and his father will open for business in an hour. Jeep gazed up to the diner's slanted roof where a large sign glows like a beacon in the darkness. He heard me approach and quickly turned. I only smiled sweetly and waved a bit.

“Already out for that run?”

“Same time every day Jeep.” I smiled and opened the door to the trailer I shared with Charlie.

“Lailah?” I had stepped inside the trailer and found Charlie sitting there absentmindedly rubbing her stomach. I felt a small pang of jealousy as the sight. My flat naturally well-toned stomach would never grow to hold and bring life into this world. I was once the Angel of conception but I would never conceive a baby for myself. It was a sad thought but I was made that way. To help bring in new life for other mothers, not for myself.

And I was okay with that.

“Yes Charlie. It’s just me.”

“How was your run?” She asked with a small distant smile. She was already in her uniform just waiting for her shift to start. I knew she wasn’t really paying attention to me. It was almost like what the humans called autopilot.

“You okay Charlie?” I could feel my face scrunch up in worry. She wasn’t due for another couple of weeks and I could sense nothing wrong with the baby.

“When I was a little girl, my mother would remind me each night before bed to be sure to open my heart to God, for he was kind, merciful and just. Things changed after my father left a few years later, leaving her to raise me and my brothers alone in a little place out on the edge of the Mojave Desert. She never talked about a kind and merciful God again. Instead she spoke of a prophecy. Of a time when all the world would be covered in darkness and the fate of Mankind would be decided. One night I finally got up the courage to ask my mother why God had changed, why was he mad at his children. "I don't know," she said, tucking the covers around me, "I guess he just got tired of all the bullshit.’”

I stared at her wondering if she was going mad. Yes there were plenty of prophecy’s saying things like that. Which one she was referring to I had no idea. I obviously couldn’t ask her which one she was referring to though. My secret had stayed with me from first day down here and it will stay with me till my last.

I smiled at her and put my hand on her shoulder. “Your mother sounds like a smart woman.”

I went to walk away when she spoke again. I refrained from sighing. I really needed a shower since working hours were fast approaching.

I had a very strange dream last night. I looked at her confused but slightly intrigued. “What kind of dream?”

“A man fell from sky. He had wings but then all of a sudden he didn’t have them anymore. It was just really weird.” I had to turn away to hide any form of emotions. She had a dream about an Angel. How I didn’t know but she did. Pregnant women were more susceptible to what was happening around them. Maybe I really did see that flash?

I should my head. Nonsense. Angels haven’t roamed the Earth in over a millennium.

I was the only one.

“But it was just a dream. Anyways get dressed Lailah! We got work in five!” I grumbled a bit and hit the showers anyways. Not like anyone would be waiting at the door for us to open anyways.

The water rushed over my body and I watched the sweat and dirt spill off and go down the drain. There was a tattoo of what looked like a bow and arrow ready to fire right above my right hip bone. I was one of the best of the best in Heaven when it came to archery. It was considered my “specialty”. I ran my hands over my back shoulder blades to wash them with the soap but the scars back there always seemed to distract me. The two raised ridges were where my wings once were.

I shook my head and quickly finished up washing my long dark chestnut colored hair. As I turned the shower off I heard banging on the door which caused me to freeze.

“Hurry up Lailah! Shift started 15 minutes ago!”

I smiled. “Be right out Jeep!”

Jeep was the owners son who worked in the mechanic shop right next door to the diner. He was madly in love with Charlie who either had no clue or was completely oblivious. Either way I liked Jeep. He was a good kid.

I quickly got dressed and braided my hair up into a cute side fishtail. I didn’t apply any makeup and I never saw why any woman did any makeup at all. Humans were naturally pretty in their own way but they were never satisfied with what they had. I was always told how lucky I was because I was “so beautiful” so that I “didn’t need any help from makeup.” I would smile thankfully but on the inside I wanted to scream. Hearing the same compliment for thousands of years can kind of irritate you.

I walked into the diner to the sound of voices talking. It sounded like Charlie and Jeep were at it again. Charlie wanted to give the baby up for adoption because she wasn’t ready to be a mom and Jeep was begging her to keep it. It wasn’t even his baby but he was willing to care for it like his own. I refused to say anything to either of them because it wasn’t my place.

“I don't know whether I like it very much being seen around with an angel without any wings.” I froze in my spot before quickly looking around. There was no one by me and I was about to run when I heard a loud slap against the TV box that Bob liked to have around for the customers. It’s a Wonderful Life was playing on the crummy TV with Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey who has just met Clarence, his guardian angel-in-training. The signal was rolling in and out and snow was covering the screen. I heard another whack, which caused the image to momentarily improve and then slowly roll back the other way. “Oh, I've got to earn them and you'll help me, won't you?”

Bob Hansen, who was in his late 40's, was owner and proprietor of this fine roadside establishment. He was attempting to fix the old TV hanging in the corner above the counter by banging the shit out of it. The restaurant itself has the kind of grungy diner charm you'd hope to find in a place last renovated in 1963. An old plastic Christmas tree strung with flickering lights and tinsel occupies a lonely corner. Next to that, a faded diorama of the Nativity Scene. The kind you might order off the Shopping Network. Bob considered the TV with a frown. He deftly rolls an engraved silver zippo back and forth over the nicotine stained fingers of his right hand. Must be a nervous habit I always thought. You can tell just by looking at the man that he's a beer drinker. Behind the counter, a black man named Percy Walker who was in his 60's was cooking up a storm on the grill with spectacular one-handed dexterity. You had to get pretty good at this sort of thing when your other hand has long been replaced by a metal hook. The dog tags around his neck tell the story. His white cook's hat has been temporarily replaced by a red Santa hat.

“Lord as my witness, Bob, one of these days that thing's gonna hit you back.” I said walking behind the counter and setting up the condiments and menus. Bob looked at me and smiled before hitting the TV again. Bob had a taken a small liking to me but I quickly discouraged that long ago. He thought it was because I didn’t like older men but that always made me laugh since technically I was the older one. I just let him think that though so he wouldn’t get his hopes up. He was a great boss regardless. And a good friend.

“Whaddya talkin' about, Lailah? We got a special relationship here.” He said smiling again.

WHACK!

“Yeah, they got names for that kind of relationship.” Percy said from inside the kitchen causing me to blush and Bob to laugh. I really did love these men. It was really upsetting knowing that they would one day die and I would still live on but never in the few thousands of years have I ever felt at home or loved. These people became my family a long time ago.

I chuckled and quickly tied my apron around my waist. There was already a family sitting at one of the tables so I set to work.

Time to start another boring day.