If Your Love Is Like a Dream, Don't Wake Me Up

Alan Ashby was a name I was far too familiar with. He had this asshole vibe. Super douchey. I hated him. We had a bad encounter with him like a year before I formed my band. He was the poster boy of hot band dudes. He has the tattoos, the nice body, the hot bod. Yeah, I'll admit he's hot. My band had the misfortune to get to tour with them. I knew I was going to hate it. I was gonna enjoy playing songs. I was going to hate every other aspect of it. He's a hell of a guitar player, I love Of Mice. They're amazing. I use to love Alan till I actually met him.

I guess I should introduce myself, I'm Carson Tallie Wilson, ripe age of 22. I'm in a band called Mes Peurs. We are like La Dispute but I sing all of our choruses in French. I have a major in French and a minor is secondary education. I could be a French teacher if I wanted. Music has a firmer hold on me then my teaching opportunity does. Im single, I don't have time to focus on a relationship.

On Warped Tour in a van is tough as fuck. We took advantages of every city we got to, and showered and felt nice. Sometimes, however, we do a baby wipe shower, which sucks ass. We are in Vegas for the next two days, so nice two days of showers, black jack, drinking, and parties. Of Mice and Men, no matter how much I despised Alan Ashby, always had good little parties. Austin had asked me yesterday if I would attend the party he was throwing tonight at the hotel after Warped. I told him fuck yeah, those dudes are the best partiers. I could stand Alan for a party or twelve. We are at the hotel, my band and I are getting a quick shower. We are then riding to Warped. We don't play till about 2pm, which is about the middle of the day. After the show we are doing signings and then off to the casinos. I am the last to shower, which I don't mind. I rather have tough skin with cold water than warm skin and warm day. My hair also is colored, so the cold helps keep in the color. I finish showering and I change into clothes. We all head back. We get there and who is the first asshole I run into after getting out of the van and he getting out of his tour bus, Alan Anthony Ashby.

"Fuck, I am so sorry doll," Alan says right away.
"Nah, I fucking expect it from you," I spit out at him.
"What the hell did I ever do to you?" Alan growls at me.
"The run in we had a long time ago, you were a grade a ass hat," I answer him.
"When was this?" He asks and turn his head.
"Three years ago," I mumble.
"Doll, that was so long ago, get over it," He states.
"Whatever Ashby," I say.
"Hey, Doll, I'm sorry for this and I'm sorry for back then," He says sweetly.
"I have a name," I comment.
"But Doll fits you, Carson," He mentions.

I just roll my eyes and finish helping the guys unload the van. Four years of being a band, Kevin had sent us an email about being on this tour after being featured in Alternative Press' must be heard list. I was super excited when this happened. This is our first Warped Tour, and it was good. I'm the one mostly driving. I bump into someone while holding my guitar case.

"Shit, sorry," I say then look up to see a short brunette guy with drumsticks in hisp hands.
"It's fine Carson," He says with a smile.
"Sorry Maxx," I nod as I walk to finish unloading.

I developed a relationship with Set It Off. Watching them every night then Cody noticing his last name is my first name. He's a special sunflower. I enjoyed watching them play. I help set up our small merch tent. I hang up all the samples of the merch. Someone walks over, I can hear them walk up and I feel their presence.

"Hey Doll, you're coming to the party right?" The person asks. It's Alan, I cannot catch a break.
"Hey Douche Bag, yeah I am," I answer as I turn to face him.
"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" He asks.
"Three years worth of I'm sorry," I sneer at him.
"Okay, see you later Doll," He says with a sign of defeat.

I watch him walk away. I know I was being unnecessary now. He did apologize. I just need to let up. At the party, I'll tell him it's all okay.
Time for us to play, which is always a hoot and holler for us. I have fun and I see a few kids sing along. It was pretty cool.

*-*-*
Putting on my nice black dress and my creepers, putting on actual make up and not just tinted sunscreen. I look at myself in the mirror. I wasn't always this glitz and glamor, but this is Vegas. I walk out from the room, the guys had already left for club. I get to the club and go straight for a drink, which is a cup of scotch. Scotch is my favorite. I'll do Jack Daniels and Smirnoff. I wasn't much of a beer person. I look at the dance floor, where guys are dancing with random girls. Some people were sitting in the booths on the outside of the dance floor. I see Alan. I walk over to his table. He was sitting there, playing with his beer label as Austin and Tino chatted along. I sit down next to Alan. Austin and Tino turn their attention to me for a quick second then, back to their conversation.

"Hey Doll, you look nice," He compliments.
"Thanks Ashby...by the way I forgive you. I shouldn't spend time being salty as fuck over something that happened a while ago," I tell him.
"Really? That means a lot to me. I would love to get over that and start fresh," He says, "Hi, I'm Alan."
I take a drink of my scotch, "Hi Alan, I'm Carson." I let out a small laugh.
"Sorry did you say Cody Carson?" Alan says jokingly.
"Actually yeah I did, I have a meaty tuck right now," I say with a small laugh.
He takes a sip of his beer, "You're cute, do you want to dance?"
"Let me finish my scotch," I state.
"Scotch takes forever to drink," He whines.
"Nah, give me a minute," I shake my head as I take a big gulp of it.
"Okay Doll," He says in a singsong voice.

I finish my scotch. Alan and I make our way to the dance floor, we dance. Alan tries his best to not grind. I resist the urge to not grind against him either. I wouldn't ruin this. I like this new found friendship. The mood of the room changes as the song changes. The song was a bit slower. Alan and I face each other and dance a bit. This was great. Alan and I were getting closer to each other. Alan excuses himself to get another beer. I waited a few minutes before Alan arrives back with two shots, of which I figured out was tequila after downing it. Alan downs his shot. We made our way to the booth, that we were currently at. We order a few rounds of shots. We down each two more shots. I was starting to feel a bit tipsy, I'm a bit of a light weight. Alan seems a bit tipsy also. We both lean forward and our lips connect in a small kiss, which turned into rougher and more passionate make out. This seems right. The energy flying between us. I pull away and he looks into my eyes.


“We’re drunk,” Alan comments.
“Mmmhmm,” I agree with a nod.

We lean into the booth. I look at him. He smiles at me. I get up and I walk to the dance floor. I decide to dance a bit. Time flies and I end up super wasted. Charles, my guitarist, had taken me back to the room. I passed out shortly after.

I wake up with a killer headache. I look at my phone and check the time. Noon. Fuck. I get up and drink some water. I take some pain killers. I hear my phone goes off. I raise my eyebrow as I check it.

From Ashkitten: Hey, stole your phone last night to put my number in it. Hope you're sleeping well. Wondering if you want to grab some lunch. xx


I smile a bit to myself as I read it. I reply to him. I type my reply.


To Ashkitten: Sure, I am in Room 312. I am going to shower all of last night off of me.

I quickly shower and change into comfy but cute clothes. Same creepers from last night. They're my comfy shoes. I hear a small knock on my door. I was blending in my tinted sunscreen. I smile as I open the door.


“Hey, Give me five minutes,” I say quietly.
“Cool,” Alan says with a smile.
“Come sit I guess,” I gesture inside the room as I walk back to the bathroom. I then put on some mascara and a lip lipstick, “I am ready.”
“Let’s go,” He says.


I grab my wallet, phone and the lipstick. We leave the room and walk to a small little diner. I love it. I love little diners. We get there and order our coffees and food. We just made small talk. He was actually a great guy. He's funny and he listens well. He has hard opinions on things. He’s actually, perfect. I watch him talk for a while as I eat. He was so passionate while talking about Of Mice and Men. That is a huge turn on for me. Its absolutely so cute. I find myself sitting in same booth side as him. We just talk for a while, occasionally playing footsies with him.

Alan checks the time, “We should get going, it’s like three,” He states.

Fuck we’ve been out that long, “Okay,” I say simply.


I get up and he grabs the check. He pays the check and we leave the diners. We walk back to the hotel. He mentions that Austin is throwing another party later. I told him I had gotten a ticket to the Penn and Teller magic sow. He just laughed at me. I pouted at him. He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll go watch magic with you,” He says.

“Nah nah, you go to the party,” I insist.
“Nah, Nah I am going to same magic show with you,” He insist, “Party wont be any fun without you.”
“I don’t know if you can get a ticket.”
“I will try to get one.”


He takes out his phone. I watch his finger fly as we walk to the elevator. I press the button.

“Got one.” He states.
“Really?” I question.
“Yes,” He mumbles.

This was great. I was seeing geeky magic with a cute guy. I’m in paradise right now. We ride the elevator up to the third floor. He walks me back to my room. We stand outside my room. He leans forward and kisses my cheek, which instantly blushes.

“I’ll see you later tonight,” He says.

“Alright, see you tonight,” I say and nod.


I smile as I walk into my room. I am in love with him, and I think he’s in love with me. I take out my phone and I sent Alan a quick text.


To Ashkitten: I had a nice time at lunch. Thank you for that.

I almost put my phone down but it chimes.

From Ashkitten: It’s no problem. I had a nice time too. xx

I put my phone down on the bedside table.



“So, has was the stuff with Alan?” Charles asks.
“It was good. I loved it. He’s actually really great,” I answer.
“So you were being irrational about the grudge for four years?” Charles asks.
“Yeah, I was,” I say.

Charles and I hung out and watched TV. We were getting caught up on current events. Nothing, interesting of course.

It became time for the magic show. Charles had already left for the party. I was planning on hitting up the party after the magic show. I hear a knock on my door. I open it and I see Alan standing there, looking pretty nice. He had thrown a sports coat over his shirt he had on at lunch. Grab my ticket then we leave. We take an uber to the place where the magic show is held. I am so excited and we get to our seats. I look at the stage. I was squirming with excitement. Alan had traded his seat with the guy next to me. Alan held my hand to keep me from squirming. I would still squirm, Alan was holding my hand. I squeeze his hand gently once it started. This was the best two hours and one hundred dollars spent. I don’t know how Alan felt about it. We made it to the party, but it was later in the night and we decided to not drink. Alan and I dance.


“How did you like you?” I ask him.
“I liked it. I liked watching you watch it. You had the childish amazement. It was just super adorable,” Alan answers.
“Shut up,” I mutter.

Alan had to go, he had to take his band mates back to the. I nod and I help my band mates to our vans. After a while of tucking Charles in a seat. I hear a small knock on the door. I walk over it and I open the driver’s door. There Alan was. He lean forward and kisses me gently; I kiss him back softly. He then pulls away and walks to his bus. I sit there kind of shocked. I then shake my head then start to drive to the next venue. This is a hell of a two days.

This is how I fell in love with Alan Ashby and This is our love starts.