If Your Love Is Like a Dream, Don't Wake Me Up
2/?
I have been messaging Alan non stop. We have been hanging out all the days of Warped. It comes to the last day. Last performance of the summer, we'll have a party after. Alan and I have been attached at the hip. Alan and I are currently standing backstage before he's about to get on. We are sharing bit of silva. Austin has nudged Alan and tell him to the pep talk. Alan always yells it and ends with Rock n Roll on three. They all count up and yell "rock n roll." I give Alan a little kiss before he runs out on stage. They play and have a hella good time. I enjoy and sing quietly backstage. Alan switched his guitars after a few songs, we share a quick kiss before he takes his guitar and run on stage. Alan and I don't have labels, but we act like we do. I think about how I have to go play a small stage after this. I'm not looking forward to it, however it's the last day so I need to suck it up. Alan already had his signing today. Their set ends and Alan embraces me in a sweaty hug; I hug him back. He kisses my head gently. We lace fingers and make our way to the smaller stage. He squeezes my hand. The other band is finishing up. I share a quick kiss with him.
"Get a rooooom," Travis, my drummer, whines.
"Shuuuuut up," I whine at him.
It became time for us to get on stage. I share a quick kiss with Alan. I pull away and walk on stage. A couple tens of people cheer. I was excited. We start our set. I have a good time. We finish our set like fifteen minutes later. I thank everyone for coming out. I smile as I walk off after all the guys. I put the mic down and we decide to take time and load up our van. Alan helps us. We share a quick kiss at the van before we leave, separately. We are keeping our whatever it is, sort of secret. I go to my signing. We do a small signing. My band went around to watch other bands. I already sent a message to Alan that we need to go watch Lights at the acoustic stage. He sends me a message back that he’ll meet me there. I make my way to the acoustic stage as Lights sits down on the stool with her guitar. Alan eventually gets there and we sit down on the ground. Lights starts playing and singing. I smile wide as I listen. My hand had sneaked its way to Alan’s hand. Lights stops for a moment after about two songs. “Any request?” Lights asks.
“Peace Sign,” I pipe up.
She looks at me, “Yeah, do you know the French parts?” “Of course I do,” I say as I get up.
They set me up a mic. Lights plays and sings. I sing the French parts. I spent a lot of time learning them, in case this ever happens. She thanks me afterwards. I sit down back next to Alan. She finishes up her planned set. I sing along quietly to the songs. Her sets in. I get up as they break down her set up. I get up and thank her. She says its no issue. I look over at Alan. Alan gets up and holds out his hand. I take his hand. We walk around and watch other bands. I made Alan watch Set It Off with me, which they're closing out the last day of Warped. They killed it.
After everyone had broke down the stages. We all went to a huge club and just had a party. Thank You Kevin Lyman for this. Alan and I are sharing a booth way in the back.
“So, where do you guys go home?” Alan asks.
“We are off to Mount Pleasant, South Carolina,” I answer.
“That’s so far from Orange County,” He whines.
“Sorry Ashby,” I say.
“But I can’t stand my girl being so far away,” Alan comments quietly.
“Your girl?” I question.
“Yeah, my girl,” He answers.
“What are you implying?” I ask.
“I want you to be my girlfriend,” He says quietly.
“Of course I will be,” I reply with a nod.
We share a kiss. As the party goes on, we drink and dance. This was so fun. I had a good time.
*-*-*
I woke up with a hang over in our van. There is a long trip from Portland to Mount Pleasant. We are spending three days to go home. We decided to do 16 hours a day. We had a good time getting home.
*-*-* Three Days Later *-*-*
To Mom: Got home safely.
I collapse onto my bed. I snuggle my pillow. I need a shower then a bath. This was the best thing ever. I love being home. I get to go get my dog from my friend’s place tomorrow. I get up and climb into the shower. I shower slowly, I enjoyed it. My phone had chimed so much when I was in the shower. I look at the messages.
From Ashkitten: Hey Doll. I miss you a bunch. You should come out to Orange County for a while xx
From Ashkitten: I hope you're home and alive xx
From Mom: Glad to hear you got home safely
From Charles: Hey so Ashby just posted a picture of you two.
From Travis: You and Alan are together? Why didn't you tell us the whole drive home?
I open twitter and look at Alan’s tweets. It’s not there. I open up Instagram and check his account. Not there. He’s the king of posting one thing then deleting it in a second. I quickly text Charles back.
To Charles: Where is this picture? I seriously cannot find it. It’s driving me insane.
To Ashkitten: Where did you post a photo of us? I wait a bit before I get replies.
From Charles: It’s on a fan’s twitter. I retweeted it.
From Ashkitten: I wouldn’t dare post a picture without making sure you're okay with it xx
I get on Twitter and go to Charles account. Sure enough there it was. A picture of us sharing a kiss my van. I don’t care honestly. I press retweet. Our secret was out there and I was strangely okay with it. I pull on pajamas and climb into bed. I fall asleep shortly after.
*-*-*
I wake up. I look around my familiar bedroom. It's been the same since I went off to college. I grab my phone. I get up and head off to the kitchen and make myself tea. I look at my phone. It's 12pm. Sleeping schedule is still fucked up from the west coast. I see Alan had sent me a message.
From Ashkitten: I love everything about us. I hope you're sleeping well. I miss you lots xx
I smile as I type a quick reply.
To Ashkitten: You're amazing. <3 You're also super cute.
I hit send then I put my phone down as I drink my tea. I was already itching to get back on the road. Touring is a curse. I look around my small apartment, realizing I was missing my dog. I finish my tea and walk to my room. I change my clothes and lazily throw my hair up. I grab my wallet and keys and my phone. I leave my apartment and I get in my car. I drive for about twenty minutes. I pull into the parking lot of my friend's apartment complex. I park my car and walk up to her apartment. I knock on the door gently. I hear my baby bark her little head off. She does this all the time. My friend opens the door and my dog runs to me. I lean down and pick her up and laugh as she licks me frantically. Ella is a black Pomeranian.
"How was tour?!" My friend, Rosalina, asks.
I sit down on her couch as I pet Ella, my dog, "It was good. I uhhh got a boyfriend."
"WHAT?! A BOYFRIEND?!" Rosalina squeals.
"Yeah, you know Of Mice and Men?" I ask quietly.
"Oh god, are you dating Austin?" She questions me.
"No! Alan! I'm dating Alan Ashby!" I answer her.
"Carson! That's so cute!" She comments.
"Yeah, yeah," I mumble and my phone buzzes in my pocket.
I take a second and pull out my phone and smile when I see it's a text message from Alan. I put my phone down and look back at Rosalina.
"Who was that?" She asks.
"It was just Alan," I say.
"You can answer him," She mutters.
"No, it's fine. I'm hanging with my best friend," I cheer.
"Just tell him you're busy," She insists.
"Okay," I say as I pick up my phone.
I read Alan's reply.
From: Ashkitten
Hey, no, you're super cute.
I then pet Ella as I type out my reply.
To: Ashkitten
Hey baby, I'm busy. I'm hanging with my bestie and my doggy.
I wait a second for a reply, which comes.
From: Ashkitten
Have fun babe. ❤️
I put my phone away. Rosalina and I talk about tour and how she's been. I'm glad she's happy. She was rambling on her boyfriend, that she's been with like three years now. Oddly enough she's dating Travis and they've been in love since day one. I know he's been giving big talk about marrying her one day, which I'm excited for. I gave her my whole story on Alan and what not. She knew about the incident with him, because she was there, but now she wants to remeet him as my boyfriend not as some dickwad. I knew my parents are going to meet him, but I'm getting ahead of myself. We continue to talk about everything, I thank her for watching my dog then I leave, so Ella and I can go home and snuggle. I arrive at home twenty minutes later. I just lay on my bed petting Ella. My apartment wasn't too fun, and I honestly just wanted to stay in my bed all day. I look at my phone and decide to call Alan. The phone rings for two rings then a grumbly voice comes on.
"Hey," Alan mumbles.
"Hi sugar bear," I say sweetly.
"Hi Doll," He sings.
"Did I wake you?" I ask.
"Nah, it's fine, I was just waking up from a nap," He answers.
Alan and I just make small talk. I told him I was already itching to get on the road again and that I wanna be out there with him, but I would want to bring my dog. He told me I could. I was thinking about a road trip to see him, however not telling him. I tell him that I need to do something and I'll call later. He said okay and he'll talk to me later. We just both stay on the line. Silence fill the room. It was peaceful. I hang up finally. I put my phone in my pocket and I start packing up for this road trip. It's going to take four days. I pack up Ella’s stuff too. I couldn’t be able to stand being away from her any longer. I know she can stand riding in the car to California. She had been from Arizona when I when I went to adopt her. She was too perfect not to. I load up my car. I put Ella kennel. I load her up in the car. I get in and I start to drive us. Four long days to California. I know Alan lives in Orange County. I think once I get to California, I’ll call Alan.
*~*~*Four Days Later*~*~*
I finally arrive in California. I’m sitting in the drive through of In-n-Out Burger. I take out my phone and I give Alan a ring.
“Hello?” a semi-tired voice says as Alan answers.
“Hey Ashby,” I say softly.
“Hey Dollface,” He says softly.
“Hey, guess where I am?” I question him.
“Mm where are you?” He answers.
“I’m in California, in Anaheim,” I say.
“Hey! Why are you here?” Alan asks.
“I am on my way to Orange County, to stop by for a bit and stay a week,” I answer him.
“Yeah! I text you my address,” He says.
He hang up and sent me his address. I follow the navigation after I get out of the drive through of In-n-Out Burger. I finally get to Alan’s house. I whistle as I see the house. I park and I grab my food and I get Ella out of her kennel. I walk up to the door and I knock on the door. Ella is too busy trying to sniff the bag of food. Alan comes to the door and open it, looking about as tired as I feel. He smiles wide as I look at him.
“Surprise!” I say.
“Hi dollface, who is this?” He motions to the dog.
“This is Ella. She’s my baby girl. I hope you don’t mind,” I say with a smile.
“She’s adorable!” He cheers.
He motions for us to come in. I walk in and he walks out to my car and starts unloading my bags. I insisted that he didn't have to, but he disagreed. I had put Ella down and she started to sniff Alan’s dog, Nugget. I hope they get along. I sit down at the dining room table and I eat my food. Alan eventually joined me and helped himself to my fries. He told me he put my stuff in his room. I wanted Alan to show me around as soon as we were done eating. We finish eating then Alan and I get up. Alan show me all around his house. It was a pretty nice house. It was nice one story house. He has a nice back yard. I was in love with it. Surprising Alan was good idea.
"Get a rooooom," Travis, my drummer, whines.
"Shuuuuut up," I whine at him.
It became time for us to get on stage. I share a quick kiss with Alan. I pull away and walk on stage. A couple tens of people cheer. I was excited. We start our set. I have a good time. We finish our set like fifteen minutes later. I thank everyone for coming out. I smile as I walk off after all the guys. I put the mic down and we decide to take time and load up our van. Alan helps us. We share a quick kiss at the van before we leave, separately. We are keeping our whatever it is, sort of secret. I go to my signing. We do a small signing. My band went around to watch other bands. I already sent a message to Alan that we need to go watch Lights at the acoustic stage. He sends me a message back that he’ll meet me there. I make my way to the acoustic stage as Lights sits down on the stool with her guitar. Alan eventually gets there and we sit down on the ground. Lights starts playing and singing. I smile wide as I listen. My hand had sneaked its way to Alan’s hand. Lights stops for a moment after about two songs. “Any request?” Lights asks.
“Peace Sign,” I pipe up.
She looks at me, “Yeah, do you know the French parts?” “Of course I do,” I say as I get up.
They set me up a mic. Lights plays and sings. I sing the French parts. I spent a lot of time learning them, in case this ever happens. She thanks me afterwards. I sit down back next to Alan. She finishes up her planned set. I sing along quietly to the songs. Her sets in. I get up as they break down her set up. I get up and thank her. She says its no issue. I look over at Alan. Alan gets up and holds out his hand. I take his hand. We walk around and watch other bands. I made Alan watch Set It Off with me, which they're closing out the last day of Warped. They killed it.
After everyone had broke down the stages. We all went to a huge club and just had a party. Thank You Kevin Lyman for this. Alan and I are sharing a booth way in the back.
“So, where do you guys go home?” Alan asks.
“We are off to Mount Pleasant, South Carolina,” I answer.
“That’s so far from Orange County,” He whines.
“Sorry Ashby,” I say.
“But I can’t stand my girl being so far away,” Alan comments quietly.
“Your girl?” I question.
“Yeah, my girl,” He answers.
“What are you implying?” I ask.
“I want you to be my girlfriend,” He says quietly.
“Of course I will be,” I reply with a nod.
We share a kiss. As the party goes on, we drink and dance. This was so fun. I had a good time.
*-*-*
I woke up with a hang over in our van. There is a long trip from Portland to Mount Pleasant. We are spending three days to go home. We decided to do 16 hours a day. We had a good time getting home.
*-*-* Three Days Later *-*-*
To Mom: Got home safely.
I collapse onto my bed. I snuggle my pillow. I need a shower then a bath. This was the best thing ever. I love being home. I get to go get my dog from my friend’s place tomorrow. I get up and climb into the shower. I shower slowly, I enjoyed it. My phone had chimed so much when I was in the shower. I look at the messages.
From Ashkitten: Hey Doll. I miss you a bunch. You should come out to Orange County for a while xx
From Ashkitten: I hope you're home and alive xx
From Mom: Glad to hear you got home safely
From Charles: Hey so Ashby just posted a picture of you two.
From Travis: You and Alan are together? Why didn't you tell us the whole drive home?
I open twitter and look at Alan’s tweets. It’s not there. I open up Instagram and check his account. Not there. He’s the king of posting one thing then deleting it in a second. I quickly text Charles back.
To Charles: Where is this picture? I seriously cannot find it. It’s driving me insane.
To Ashkitten: Where did you post a photo of us? I wait a bit before I get replies.
From Charles: It’s on a fan’s twitter. I retweeted it.
From Ashkitten: I wouldn’t dare post a picture without making sure you're okay with it xx
I get on Twitter and go to Charles account. Sure enough there it was. A picture of us sharing a kiss my van. I don’t care honestly. I press retweet. Our secret was out there and I was strangely okay with it. I pull on pajamas and climb into bed. I fall asleep shortly after.
*-*-*
I wake up. I look around my familiar bedroom. It's been the same since I went off to college. I grab my phone. I get up and head off to the kitchen and make myself tea. I look at my phone. It's 12pm. Sleeping schedule is still fucked up from the west coast. I see Alan had sent me a message.
From Ashkitten: I love everything about us. I hope you're sleeping well. I miss you lots xx
I smile as I type a quick reply.
To Ashkitten: You're amazing. <3 You're also super cute.
I hit send then I put my phone down as I drink my tea. I was already itching to get back on the road. Touring is a curse. I look around my small apartment, realizing I was missing my dog. I finish my tea and walk to my room. I change my clothes and lazily throw my hair up. I grab my wallet and keys and my phone. I leave my apartment and I get in my car. I drive for about twenty minutes. I pull into the parking lot of my friend's apartment complex. I park my car and walk up to her apartment. I knock on the door gently. I hear my baby bark her little head off. She does this all the time. My friend opens the door and my dog runs to me. I lean down and pick her up and laugh as she licks me frantically. Ella is a black Pomeranian.
"How was tour?!" My friend, Rosalina, asks.
I sit down on her couch as I pet Ella, my dog, "It was good. I uhhh got a boyfriend."
"WHAT?! A BOYFRIEND?!" Rosalina squeals.
"Yeah, you know Of Mice and Men?" I ask quietly.
"Oh god, are you dating Austin?" She questions me.
"No! Alan! I'm dating Alan Ashby!" I answer her.
"Carson! That's so cute!" She comments.
"Yeah, yeah," I mumble and my phone buzzes in my pocket.
I take a second and pull out my phone and smile when I see it's a text message from Alan. I put my phone down and look back at Rosalina.
"Who was that?" She asks.
"It was just Alan," I say.
"You can answer him," She mutters.
"No, it's fine. I'm hanging with my best friend," I cheer.
"Just tell him you're busy," She insists.
"Okay," I say as I pick up my phone.
I read Alan's reply.
From: Ashkitten
Hey, no, you're super cute.
I then pet Ella as I type out my reply.
To: Ashkitten
Hey baby, I'm busy. I'm hanging with my bestie and my doggy.
I wait a second for a reply, which comes.
From: Ashkitten
Have fun babe. ❤️
I put my phone away. Rosalina and I talk about tour and how she's been. I'm glad she's happy. She was rambling on her boyfriend, that she's been with like three years now. Oddly enough she's dating Travis and they've been in love since day one. I know he's been giving big talk about marrying her one day, which I'm excited for. I gave her my whole story on Alan and what not. She knew about the incident with him, because she was there, but now she wants to remeet him as my boyfriend not as some dickwad. I knew my parents are going to meet him, but I'm getting ahead of myself. We continue to talk about everything, I thank her for watching my dog then I leave, so Ella and I can go home and snuggle. I arrive at home twenty minutes later. I just lay on my bed petting Ella. My apartment wasn't too fun, and I honestly just wanted to stay in my bed all day. I look at my phone and decide to call Alan. The phone rings for two rings then a grumbly voice comes on.
"Hey," Alan mumbles.
"Hi sugar bear," I say sweetly.
"Hi Doll," He sings.
"Did I wake you?" I ask.
"Nah, it's fine, I was just waking up from a nap," He answers.
Alan and I just make small talk. I told him I was already itching to get on the road again and that I wanna be out there with him, but I would want to bring my dog. He told me I could. I was thinking about a road trip to see him, however not telling him. I tell him that I need to do something and I'll call later. He said okay and he'll talk to me later. We just both stay on the line. Silence fill the room. It was peaceful. I hang up finally. I put my phone in my pocket and I start packing up for this road trip. It's going to take four days. I pack up Ella’s stuff too. I couldn’t be able to stand being away from her any longer. I know she can stand riding in the car to California. She had been from Arizona when I when I went to adopt her. She was too perfect not to. I load up my car. I put Ella kennel. I load her up in the car. I get in and I start to drive us. Four long days to California. I know Alan lives in Orange County. I think once I get to California, I’ll call Alan.
*~*~*Four Days Later*~*~*
I finally arrive in California. I’m sitting in the drive through of In-n-Out Burger. I take out my phone and I give Alan a ring.
“Hello?” a semi-tired voice says as Alan answers.
“Hey Ashby,” I say softly.
“Hey Dollface,” He says softly.
“Hey, guess where I am?” I question him.
“Mm where are you?” He answers.
“I’m in California, in Anaheim,” I say.
“Hey! Why are you here?” Alan asks.
“I am on my way to Orange County, to stop by for a bit and stay a week,” I answer him.
“Yeah! I text you my address,” He says.
He hang up and sent me his address. I follow the navigation after I get out of the drive through of In-n-Out Burger. I finally get to Alan’s house. I whistle as I see the house. I park and I grab my food and I get Ella out of her kennel. I walk up to the door and I knock on the door. Ella is too busy trying to sniff the bag of food. Alan comes to the door and open it, looking about as tired as I feel. He smiles wide as I look at him.
“Surprise!” I say.
“Hi dollface, who is this?” He motions to the dog.
“This is Ella. She’s my baby girl. I hope you don’t mind,” I say with a smile.
“She’s adorable!” He cheers.
He motions for us to come in. I walk in and he walks out to my car and starts unloading my bags. I insisted that he didn't have to, but he disagreed. I had put Ella down and she started to sniff Alan’s dog, Nugget. I hope they get along. I sit down at the dining room table and I eat my food. Alan eventually joined me and helped himself to my fries. He told me he put my stuff in his room. I wanted Alan to show me around as soon as we were done eating. We finish eating then Alan and I get up. Alan show me all around his house. It was a pretty nice house. It was nice one story house. He has a nice back yard. I was in love with it. Surprising Alan was good idea.