Status: Fixed layout now writing chapter 2
Ella Floating Away
Fat
I make Emily's waffles and the smell nags at my nose. I added chocolate chips to make them how Elena Emily likes them.
These waffles are like 500 calories, I can't eat them, I'm like a balloon and calories are the air I can't eat them. I smother them in peanut butter. These are for Emily, not for me. They're for her. Emily is allergic to peanuts. Fine, I wasn't thinking, I'll just throw them away and make new ones. They smell so good. I can't eat them, pancakes are for fatasses or people like Emily who can't gain weight, I will stick to a salad later I'm fi-
"Ella?" I drop the fork. In the doorway, staring at me wide-eyed is Emily. I look down. The plate is empty and the waffles I just put back on for her are smoking. The fire alarm is going off and my hands are covered in peanut butter.
"I um..." I start, and now I'm stuttering and crying. "You can make your own waffles." I'm bawling now and I run upstairs barely making it to the bathroom before my finger is down my throat. But the peanut butter is making it impossible to get anything up so I sit up on the toilet, head in hands, and cry. I grab my old eyeliner and start writing "Fat" all over myself under all the rolls of fat covering my body.
After every last "Fat" is covered I head back downstairs to find my family is back, along with a few of Ian's friends. Ian's girlfriend Summer is there, as well as her best friend Alice - my ex. Summer just turned 21, and was going to be tonight's source of alcohol, claimed Ian. Which just made me think hes with her just for that. Considering her personality, I wouldn't be too surprised.
"Elena!" Summer said, her shrill of a voice could make the peanut butter come up.
"It's Ella," I say, snarky but trying to stay calm.
"Ella! You look so nice! Teach me your secrets!" One of her friends behind her sticks her finger down her throat to imitate purging. "No!" Summer exclaims, "Tee, shut up that is SOOO rude."
When I was Elena Amber, I had no friends other than Helena and Alice. Alice wasn't petite herself, but was still smaller than me. One night in the 5th grade the three of us were playing truth or dare, and Helena thought she was being funny by daring Alice and I to kiss. That dare sparked feelings in me, that were not reciprocated until sophomore year.
I truly felt that I loved Alice. We did everything together, and we weren't afraid to show the school how much we loved each other. We lived in a town that wasn't judgmental to that kind of thing, and considering my invisibility, no one cared either way.
The summer before senior year Alice went to some camp in California and came back with a new body, a boyfriend and a new best friend. She never even formally dumped me, and if you ever ask her she will act as if we never dated in the first place.
I look over at all the snacks on the table- the cake, which was Sherlock themed for Ian but had a Harry Potter owl in the corner, ("The Hedwig is for you since you love Harry Potter!" "But mom, Ian loves Harry Potter too." "I know, but you love owls...dont you?") sat on the left, surrounded by cookies and other sweets. Then, on the right were chips, dips, and even more chips. My mouth watered. I walked over to grab a couple doritos.
Just a couple, the Ella voice whispered in my head. They taste so good I could just keep eating them I cant stop I wont stop I have to stop I wont stop I don't stop. Next thing I know my stomach is full of doritos sitting on top of that waffle. I pinch my side. I look at the door, and finally, in comes Helena but with a huge gift at her side. Her boyfriend.
These waffles are like 500 calories, I can't eat them, I'm like a balloon and calories are the air I can't eat them. I smother them in peanut butter. These are for Emily, not for me. They're for her. Emily is allergic to peanuts. Fine, I wasn't thinking, I'll just throw them away and make new ones. They smell so good. I can't eat them, pancakes are for fatasses or people like Emily who can't gain weight, I will stick to a salad later I'm fi-
"Ella?" I drop the fork. In the doorway, staring at me wide-eyed is Emily. I look down. The plate is empty and the waffles I just put back on for her are smoking. The fire alarm is going off and my hands are covered in peanut butter.
"I um..." I start, and now I'm stuttering and crying. "You can make your own waffles." I'm bawling now and I run upstairs barely making it to the bathroom before my finger is down my throat. But the peanut butter is making it impossible to get anything up so I sit up on the toilet, head in hands, and cry. I grab my old eyeliner and start writing "Fat" all over myself under all the rolls of fat covering my body.
After every last "Fat" is covered I head back downstairs to find my family is back, along with a few of Ian's friends. Ian's girlfriend Summer is there, as well as her best friend Alice - my ex. Summer just turned 21, and was going to be tonight's source of alcohol, claimed Ian. Which just made me think hes with her just for that. Considering her personality, I wouldn't be too surprised.
"Elena!" Summer said, her shrill of a voice could make the peanut butter come up.
"It's Ella," I say, snarky but trying to stay calm.
"Ella! You look so nice! Teach me your secrets!" One of her friends behind her sticks her finger down her throat to imitate purging. "No!" Summer exclaims, "Tee, shut up that is SOOO rude."
When I was Elena Amber, I had no friends other than Helena and Alice. Alice wasn't petite herself, but was still smaller than me. One night in the 5th grade the three of us were playing truth or dare, and Helena thought she was being funny by daring Alice and I to kiss. That dare sparked feelings in me, that were not reciprocated until sophomore year.
I truly felt that I loved Alice. We did everything together, and we weren't afraid to show the school how much we loved each other. We lived in a town that wasn't judgmental to that kind of thing, and considering my invisibility, no one cared either way.
The summer before senior year Alice went to some camp in California and came back with a new body, a boyfriend and a new best friend. She never even formally dumped me, and if you ever ask her she will act as if we never dated in the first place.
I look over at all the snacks on the table- the cake, which was Sherlock themed for Ian but had a Harry Potter owl in the corner, ("The Hedwig is for you since you love Harry Potter!" "But mom, Ian loves Harry Potter too." "I know, but you love owls...dont you?") sat on the left, surrounded by cookies and other sweets. Then, on the right were chips, dips, and even more chips. My mouth watered. I walked over to grab a couple doritos.
Just a couple, the Ella voice whispered in my head. They taste so good I could just keep eating them I cant stop I wont stop I have to stop I wont stop I don't stop. Next thing I know my stomach is full of doritos sitting on top of that waffle. I pinch my side. I look at the door, and finally, in comes Helena but with a huge gift at her side. Her boyfriend.