Five

“That’s it, everyone. Thank you for coming in, if you have any questions, you can contact myself or Bill any time. Nothing has changed, the show will go on as planned this evening. So chins up everyone. Time to get rolling.” Simon nodded at everyone and stood, sliding the sunglasses that hung from his shirt up and putting them on over his eyes. The meeting had been a muddled hour of thousands of discussions and debates occurring at once. It made Farrah’s head spin. But Simon had handled it well. He was always good for that.

He shook hands and stepped from the room. He, Zayn, and the execs were flying back to London in just a couple of hours.

“...What?” Farrah said after it was quiet, as she fell limply into her chair. It was the fourth time she’d said it. What else was a girl to do?

Lou sat beside her, already tearing up. The girl was hopeless, truly. Farrah didn’t know what to do, wanted to know what to do. The band was five people. One, two, three, four, five. Louis, Liam, Harry, Niall, Zayn. This is One Direction. That was One Direction. Zayn couldn’t just leave. He wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Zayn would never leave.

Zayn couldn’t leave.

“What’m I gonna tell Lux?” Lou whispered tearfully, trying to maintain composure. Farrah could’ve sworn she heard her own heart break at the words. Poor Lux.

She watched in silence as Lou carefully got up and left the room. Suddenly Farrah was alone in the empty board room. Alone and unsure of what was to come.

No. There was no way this was happening. No way.

She stood and jogged up to her room. Showered, made herself presentable, changed yet again. Fixed her hair. Stared into the mirror. “No,” she whispered to herself, “They’re playing some kind of joke. Some sort of April Fools’.”

With that, she sat down. She waited at the end of her bed, knowing she’d get a radio through when Zayn was making his way to the cars. She had to be patient. She knew that he wouldn’t listen while packing. She had to talk to him when he was in the car. She’d have that caravan turned around in no time.

A soft knock came to the door. Farrah furrowed her brows in confusion and made her way to it, pulling it open. She saw Lou, Lux held tightly on her hip. “You better go downstairs, they’re… they’re trying to make a quiet getaway, I think.” Lou chuckled humorlessly, tears in her eyes. She’d been so close to Zayn for so long, but Farrah knew better - she was crying because she’d have to tell her baby girl. And she didn’t know how to handle the way the innocent girl would react.

Farrah cursed under her breath and grabbed the nearest pair of sandals, running past Lou and down the hall. Paul knew everyone would want to say their goodbyes. He was trying to get Zayn out without saying goodbye.

The girl nearly ran into about fourteen different bystanders as she ran at full speed down the halls and through corridors to the hotel’s garage. She yelled after the black SUVs that were starting up, about to pull away. The third one screeched to a halt, having made it a good thirty feet. Breathing heavily and not caring that she likely left her key card and everything else she owned in her room, Farrah skidded to a stop by the passenger side of the third car. “Thank god,” she whispered through her heavy breathing as the door was opened and inside of it sat Zayn.

Louis sat beside him. Behind them were Harry, Liam, and Niall. Zayn managed a small, weak smile at the girl who’d run after them. He bit his lip as she met his eyes fearlessly, climbing into the car and sitting beside him. “You shouldn’t all be in the same car,” she murmured quietly to them.

She watched as four of them shrugged, and Zayn just sighed out a heavy breath. He hung his head, rubbing his hands over his face. “I tried to tell them, Fanny…” he whispered quietly. His voice was hoarse. He’d either been yelling, crying, or a heartbreaking mixture of both. “They don’t listen.”

Farrah sighed softly and nodded, looking back at all of them. “Paul wants to kill you all, I’m sure.” They didn’t respond. She frowned and glanced to Zayn, reaching out and softly slipping her hand into his. “C’mon, Zayno…” she said quietly. “This is silly. Why don’t we just… turn around, go have a nice chat at the hotel over a cuppa? Nice relaxing afternoon. Just put off one show, maybe, yeah?”

She heard a dry, humorless chuckle from Niall in the back. She ignored it.

“They’ve tried that, Farrah. I’m sorry, I just…” Zayn lifted his head and met her eyes. “This is how things have to be. I can’t do this anymore, don’t you understand that?”

Farrah slowly shook her head.

“I don’t, no, Zayn. I don’t understand it. Because this band is incredible, you’re incredible with this band. You can’t just… leave it.” She pushed back assertively. She sat tall in the seat beside him, meeting his eyes. She squeezed his hand.

“I’m not happy, Fanny.” His voice broke on the words. He sighed shakily. “I haven’t been for months.” The girl’s face scrunched up and she stared at him. Confused. Unsure. She hadn’t ever seen this coming.

“Well, okay, but… We can work on that. This can’t happen, though, we just need to turn around and go back.” Zayn tightened his grip around her hand, his thumb caressing the back of it.

“I’ll love you, Fanny, forever. I hope you know that.” The car came to a stop, and she could barely move enough to see that they’d reached the airport. She heard sniffles starting up in the back, but she couldn’t look. Lou moved out of the other side of the car and Zayn leant forward, softly kissing her cheek. “Goodbye, Farrah.” He pulled away and slipped from the car, following Paul and the boys into the back terminal of the airport.

“What…?” Farrah mumbled, turning to look at the four boys still in the SUV with her. “Wait, no, c’mon. What’re you all doing sitting here? We have to get him back,” she demanded, turning and breaking from the car. The four boys sat there, staring after her. They wanted to follow, and so after a moment, they did. They knew they had to say goodbye. But then again, they’d been avoiding this exact goodbye for months. Maybe more than a year now. Who was to know?

Farrah ran after Zayn. Met him at the tarmac where the plane waited. Simon and his executives had already gotten onto the aircraft, and Zayn was the last making his way for the stairs. “Wait!!” she shouted after him. He stopped and sighed heavily, closing his eyes where he stood.

“Ahh, damnit,” Paul grumbled, gritting his teeth. “We don’t have time for this…” Farrah could hear the wavering tone of his voice. She didn’t mention it.

“Fanny, I-” Zayn began. She reached up and clasped a hand over his lips.

“Come back, Zayn, we can pretend this didn’t happen,” she assured him. “Please, this… This is not where it ends. This isn’t where it stops. You are One Direction. Who are One Direction without you, Zayn? Wh-Who?”

Farrah hadn’t realized she’d started tearing up.

Zayn frowned softly and set down his carry-on, reaching up to wipe the tears softly from her cheeks. “It’s okay, Fanny… Everything will be okay. You’ll see.” She shook her head and he immediately wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest.

“You have been a huge part of my life for almost five years, Farrah, you have been everything. You’re the reason I’m here, the reason I’ve gotten all this way. But it’s time for me to… To move on. To find a new love, a new passion, I can’t be this unhappy all the time…” He felt emotion bubbling up once again and clutched tightly to her. “This will always be the greatest chapter of my life, something I can never thank you enough for. But it’s time for me to go on…”

Farrah shook her head, refusing to say the word “goodbye”. She clung to him. “You’ll be back, Zayn. Just you watch and see. You’ll go see Perrie and you two will recuperate together and then you’ll be back. You’ll be back and we’ll be so happy to see you.”

Zayn softly pulled back, cupping her cheeks as Paul called for him. “Sure, love… Anything you say.” His eyes were sad. He knew it wouldn’t happen. He knew she needed to say these things. “I’ll always love you, Fanny. Thank you so much for everything…”

She opened and closed her mouth, wanting to speak. She wasn’t sure what was happening, pretty sure the boys were saying a goodbye full of dry crying. Like they’d used up all of their reserves.

She saw Harry turn away from all of them, covering his face. Niall wasn’t hiding it. Louis was red-eyed, but quiet. Liam was clinging to Zayn.

Paul sighed and lifted the bag into his hand, taking it onto the plane. Zayn finally mumbled a goodbye to the boys and turned, heading for the stairs.

It broke his heart to turn his back on them. He’d promised a long time ago that this wasn’t the last of One Direction, and it hadn’t been. And neither was this. He knew that, deep down. But the pain he felt at having to say goodbye was so much worse than he’d anticipated.

He couldn’t look back at his family as he slipped quietly onto the plane. He crumbled into his seat, barely putting on the belt as the doors to the plane closed. And that was when the tears really came.

Outside, Farrah watched as Paul waved to the pilot and turned away from the plane. He beckoned them away from the craft, forcing them to get on the nearest cart so they could head back to the SUVs.

She didn’t want to leave.

“You’ll be back!” she shouted after the plane as it started to pull away. “I know you will!” And silently, in her head, a soft voice whimpered, “You have to…”