She's the Realest

There was no way she was real.

Whenever she was up on that stage, it was almost like she took her audience to another world. She created a dreamlike atmosphere; swaying her hips and moving around in a rhythm that made it seem like she was floating. Smoke surrounded her as she let the music take over and graced everyone with her beautiful, alluring voice. Then she’d be accompanied by an array of colorful lights that danced along with her. They’d hit her in an angle that made her glow and one couldn’t help but be in a trance. Her presence was hypnotic and she connected with every single person that came to be mesmerized by those piercing brown eyes and vibrant blue locks that fell in waves over her shoulders.

In the world’s eyes, Halsey was an ethereal goddess and he couldn’t agree more.

But if anyone had told Zachary Merrick a year ago that she would end up falling for him, he’d think they were spitting out a load of bullshit.

And it was funny. He had always seen her that way. Before the blue hair, before the arena shows, before her upcoming album, before she was even known as Halsey, before any of that...he considered her as an amazing unreal being that was out of his league. Though that wasn’t to say he didn’t see her as a down-to-earth person as well because he did and he knew her more than most people. She laughed at the lame jokes that escaped her own lips and blushed when sprinkled with compliments, sharing stories with everyone she happened to bump into because she loved to socialize. That was part of the reason why she was so special to him.

Zack would always smile when he looked back at that night they met. It seemed so long ago when in reality it was only a few years. It was at the Crocodile Rock Cafe in Pennsylvania and Halsey was about 16 (having lied about her age in order to get that job) when she was working there. Honestly, if it weren’t for her, they never would’ve played at that venue in the first place. She was the one in charge of booking and because she was a fan, she booked All Time Low. Their first meeting was far from the meet-cute most movies made people fantasize about, but it was definitely something. Because she had access to the whole venue, she happened to go upstairs right as Zack got out of the shower.

When he first laid eyes on her was when she walked in on him completely exposed.

Obviously they both freaked out. Halsey because she saw everything and Zack because he made her panic. Throughout the night they shared a few glances and it wasn’t until after ATL’s set when she caught up to him to apologize.

“I guess we got off to a weird start. How about we start over?”

“Sounds cool. I’m Zack.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m a really big fan of your band.”

“Do you wanna sit down and get to know each other?”

“I’d love to.”

They talked until everyone else had gone and they had no other choice but to also leave themselves. She had to head back home where her parents would be waiting for her while he had to head back to the tour bus so the band could get to the hotel they were staying at. For some reason, he couldn’t get the conversation they had out of his head and her voice continued to occupy his thoughts until he went to sleep.

He had noticed that she was definitely somebody who loved to talk. Making conversation was easy for her and she brought up all kinds of topics for them to discuss. She asked questions when curious and her responses to things he wanted to know were short, yet still went into depth. She was an extremely intelligent person who expressed her beliefs with such passion and he could tell she was going to make a lot of accomplishments in the future.

But what really surprised him was how she managed to push him to do more of the talking. Sure, she was the social one out of the two but she cared more about what he had to say. She wanted to know his opinions, his ideas, his favorites, everything. It felt so odd for him because he had been so used to being in the background. He was the quiet, shy member of the band. He was a listener who talked once in a while and sometimes he’d be interrupted or spoken over. It wasn’t like the guys meant to do that to him and he didn’t really mind it, yet when he was talking to this girl, she became the listener. For the first time in a long time, she sat there and told him that his words were just as important as the others and Zack didn’t realize how much he had wanted to say until that night. When they said goodbye, he secretly hoped he’d see her again one day.

It wasn’t until four years later when a new artist who went by the name Halsey started rising up in the music scene. From the brutally honest lyrics to the intriguing beats and melodies, people were immediately enamored with her. Already, she was making friends with so many celebrities and Alex just so happened to be one of them. After talking for a few days, he eventually found out who she was and thinking back to how much she hit it off with Zack, Alex decided to reunite them.

He had to remember to thank Alex. And Dia. And everyone else that told him to stop being stupid because he obviously had feelings for her that wouldn’t go away.

They had been together for a few weeks and Halsey was currently standing out on the balcony of his apartment in nothing but lace shorts and a floral bralette. The wind whipped her blue hair against her face as she leaned over the railing, watching waves crash on the shore of the nearby beach. It was late in the day, so the sun was just above the horizon and it made the sky pink while also reflecting off the water. Looking at her from behind, he stared in awe at how she became the missing piece to the scenery in front of him. With her hair being illuminated by the sun’s rays and the purple clouds gliding across the rose colored sky, he found himself looking at a beautiful blend of pastels. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was looking at a painting and it was all so breathtaking that he once again questioned if he was dreaming or not.

Zack walked up to her and wound his arms around her waist, pulling her against him so he could rest his chin on her shoulder. She tilted her head and grinned when she felt his lips press against her neck. In return, she faced him and gave him a peck on the cheek. A lipstick mark was imprinted on him and upon noticing it, she giggled, much to his confusion. Once she pointed it out, he attempted to wipe it off only for her to give him another one on the nose.

“The color looks good on you,” she teased when he looked at her.

He kissed her forehead, the tip of his lipstick-stained nose brushing against it and leaving a small mark on her skin. “Not as much as it does on you.”

They both laughed, wiping off their respective stains before Zack picked her up with ease. She wrapped her arms around him to hold on and he carried her inside to his bed where he set her down. She rolled over so that she was on her side as he lay next to her on his back. With his face just an inch away from hers, she closed the space between them. As soon as their lips met, Zack felt an incredible feeling of warmth that made his heart flutter. He couldn’t help but grin widely as her soft lips skimmed over his jaw and travelled down until she stopped at his chest, planting a kiss on the bird tattoo before resting her head on him.

Halsey let out a contented sigh when she nuzzled against his body, her leg draping across him. He placed his hand on her thigh and she looked up at him with bright eyes that were filled with pure elation. The fluttering in his stomach intensified and he could practically hear his heart thumping so much that he was sure she could hear it, too. It was like he discovered a new feeling of happiness and it was so foreign that it kind of scared him in the best way.

And she fit so perfectly into his life, picking up where she left off with him so easily as if the four year gap never happened. Zack had even surprised himself at how natural it was to converse with her. All the small details of herself that she shared with him were still vivid in his mind and when he brought them up, she flashed him a look that showed how touching it was that he remembered them all. Each day they spent with each other, he realized how strong her influence was and that some of her personality had mixed into his. He was so inspired by her honesty and confidence that he began to speak out more and it led to them having very deep and meaningful conversations. He couldn’t thank her enough for bringing out this side of him and he liked how he was becoming a better version of himself.

He craved her. Everything about her was so intoxicating and he knew that no other person had ever made him feel like this. Is this what it was like to find that one person that made everything seem so right? Finally, he understood what the others had been experiencing all these years. This was what Alex felt with Meg, what Jack felt with Tay, and what Rian felt with Cass. This is what his parents felt. If he had known it was going to be like this, he never would’ve hesitated to find Halsey again.

“Why did it take me so long to find my way back to you?” he asked.

“I guess the universe was waiting for the right time,” she told him, her fingertip tracing circles on his chest. “Even though it took long, you were worth the wait.”

He nodded and brought a hand up to stroke her hair. They lay in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds coming from outside. Halsey had a question of her own and after a few more minutes of listening to crashing waves and seagulls, she decided to speak up.

“Zack?”

“Yeah?”

She shifted her body so she could look directly at him and propped her chin up. “This might sound weird, but is...is purple for you?”

He raised an eyebrow and sat up, knowing exactly what she was talking about. She was referencing something very personal to her, the story told through her song, “Colors”. A while back, she had met someone. He was also a musician and was the personification of art, fascinating her with his poetry and sex appeal. This man molded her, shaping her into something new as if she herself was art. It was the story of the boy who was red and the girl who was blue. Zack already knew how that ended and it was no fairytale.

You were red and you liked me because I was blue
But you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky
And you decided purple just wasn’t for you

This wasn’t just some silly question. She didn’t want to get hurt like last time.

Zack didn’t have an answer for her, not because he lacked one but because he refused. It wasn’t right for him to even give her one. She wasn’t just a color, she was a person. She was her own person and who was he to tell her what kind of person she should be just to please him?

“Is purple for you?” he retorted and she was astonished by the response, not expecting that reaction from him. Before she could say anything, he went on. “I’m the one who made you that way and it should only matter if you’re okay with it. If you’re not, then I understand, but I can’t...I can’t be that person who treats you like some concept. You’re more than that and what I’m trying to say is I just want you to be happy, Ashley. I care about you.”

Her eyes widened at the mention of her real name and she had to swallow back a cry because a lump had formed in her throat when she heard his voice waver. It didn’t help that he was looking at her with doe eyes that swallowed her, desperately trying to let her know that all the words spilling out his mouth were genuine.

For a long time, she thought she knew what love was but Zack had made her rethink the meaning. He didn’t put her on a pedestal or visualize her as the masterpiece in his gallery. Instead of constantly telling her that she belonged to him, he didn’t believe she belonged to anyone. Not even him. He adored her with every fiber of his being, but knew he wasn’t the one who owned her. The only person who had control of Halsey was Halsey and there was no way he could ever see her as his prize. While parts of him had manifested in her, it wasn’t because he molded her. It was because she admired him so much that she wanted to mold herself and embraced the parts of him that she aspired to be.

He didn’t make her purple. She wanted to be purple.

Halsey caressed his cheek before gently placing her hand on the nape of his neck and waited for him to relax. At seeing her soften, his shoulders lowered and the pounding of his heart had returned to a nice, even pace. That’s when her lips slowly curled into a grin and she finally whispered, “With you as red, I want to be purple forever.”

Zack smiled and pressed his forehead to hers, the loud thumping close to resurfacing and a small voice in his head still asking him if she was real. But when her lips crashed into his, he was well aware that she was definitely real. When she pulled away, she fell into the comfort of his lap and they both looked out to the open balcony until the view gave him an idea.

“Let’s go for a drive.”

The next thing they knew, they were driving along the highway as the sun continued to set and their favorite songs blared through the speakers. No destination in mind; just a moment in life for them to take in and savor. He laughed, the happiness in him almost overwhelming. When Halsey heard his laugh, she had to take one of her hands off the steering wheel to clutch her chest. She smiled and tears almost formed in her eyes because she no longer felt the emptiness that had been there for a long time and in place of it was him.

She had always referred to herself as a wanderess. She was always moving, always driving, always trying to get away and find a home because California had never provided that for her. For so long she had only ever relied on herself and never thought of slowing down because she was far too independent for that. But then she met back with this so-called bassist and that was it. For once, she wasn’t driving to get away because she didn’t need to anymore. Home was right there with her, sitting in the passenger seat.

Zack gazed at her as she also filled the air with laughter, her hair flying behind her with the sun disappearing behind her shoulder. Every once in a while, she’d glance at him with eyes full of bliss and he was never going to be able to get that look out of his head. In that moment, he realized he had become purple, too. In fact, he was pretty sure he’d been purple for a while, possibly ever since she first spoke to him. And just like her, he wanted to be purple for the rest of his life.

There was no way she was real.

But she was.