Home, Sweet Home

“Sassy pointing, sassy pointing, ah.” Said Dan as Phil’s Wii-mote flew towards to wall bouncing off and falling behind the couch.

“See I told you to use the wrist strap.” Said Dan and then looking back into my eyes. I smiled a little knowing that that little smirk was just for me.

“I’ll go get it.” Said Dan walking over to the couch and then climbing up on it bending over to give me a view of his perfect ass. I paused the video for a second for a prolonged look at his backside. I pushed play again. Dan reached behind the couch letting out a “Ha” when his hand wrapped around the Wii-mote. He pulled it out from behind the couch and walked back over to Phil holding up the Wii-mote triumphantly. Phil looked at Dan.

“Um Dan,” said Phil pointing to what was in Dan’s right hand. Along with the Wii-mote was a pink, lacy bra. My vision turned red at the thought of a girl ever being in the same house as Dan.

“Shit.” Said Dan looking at his hand. I could feel the anger burning in my stomach. Dan dropped the bra making my anger subside a bit.

“Well I guess the cats out of the bag.” Stated Phil. In the back of my mind I really hoped that that statement wasn’t a play on words to signify that it was Catrific’s bra.

“Well I guess that we should probably tell you that we have a roommate.” Said Dan looking at the bra on the floor. In my head I was yelling at Dan to stop looking at it.

“A roommate that is a girl!” said Phil. Dan looked at him and then back at me.

“No, our roommate is a guy that likes to cross-dress.” Said Dan looking at Phil, his face blank.

“What? I just wanted to make sure they knew.” Said Phil holding his hands up in surrender.

“I would assume that they would know our roommate was a girl.” Said Dan pointing at the bra.

“I just wanted to clarify.” Said Phil causing both Dan and Phil to laugh. I contemplated turning off the video. I was so mad. How could they have a girl living with them? Dan is mine. I swear if she makes a move on Dan . . . I kept watching.

“Okay, back to the game,” said Phil going through the songs again. There was nothing else about the roommate in the video. I wanted to leave a nasty comment but I also wanted to respect Dan’s Nicer Internet project. I just seethed with anger and took to twitter.

I read through his tweets and replies to other people. One tweet asked if they were going to do a video with their roommate. Dan replied with a ‘she doesn’t want to be on camera’. I know it’s because she’s ugly. Just then a tweet from Phil came in.

Everyone is asking about our roommate. She won’t be in any videos because she doesn’t want to interfere with “Dan and Phil”

She is totally ugly. I laughed to myself and put my computer away.



“Dan, I promise this’ll only be until I can find a place of my own.” I said as Dan put the last box on the floor of the room that was now mine. I thought he was going to pass out because of all of the times we went up and down all of those stairs.

“No it’s okay. You can stay here as long as you want.” Said a doubled over and very winded sounding Dan. I sat on the floor and Dan did the same.

“Thank you.” I said bumping my shoulder against Dan’s. I loved my old flat but the lease was up and I couldn’t find any other flat within my price range in time. In the back of my head I knew this wasn’t the best idea because I liked Dan a little more than you should ever like your best friend. I felt like this would just fuel the fire but I was desperate.

“Sam, we would do anything for you. You’re like our best friend.” Said Dan looking down at me. I leaned back to lay on the floor. On the way down I hit my head on the corner of a box causing Dan to laugh. I flipped him off with one hand while rubbing the back of my head with the other.

“Okay well I have some work to do. If you need any help with anything, just let me or Phil know.” Said Dan standing to leave.

“Okay. Thank you again.” I said.

Dan left and I started to unpack my boxes. I had my bed and dresser but all the other furniture came with the old flat so I would eventually have to buy furniture when I got a new one. I started in on unpacking my clothes and putting them in my dresser and the closet that Dan and Phil put together for me. I imagined them putting these together to be a lot like the video Phil made when they first moved to London.

After my clothes were put away, I put all of the boxes on my bed and started to roll out my black fuzzy rug on to what little floor space I had. It fit perfectly and that pleased me. I knew I would be spending most of my time on that rug.

I moved on to my box of random nick-knacks and pictures. I didn’t really know where to put a lot of this stiff because I didn’t really have any shelves. I put most of my things like pictures of my family and one of me and my best friend from back home on top of the dresser. Along with my cat figurine that I had to settle for instead of a real pet because of my previous lease agreement. My makeup collection and my brushes along with my jewelry box went there as well.

My movie collection and all of my books had to stay in their boxes until Dan, Phil and I could put together a couple of book shelves. Then I would have more space to put a few of my other little things. I left most of the stuff still in the box not knowing where it would go in the future.
I had a container of bathroom stuff that I had no idea what I was going to do with. I grabbed the shampoo, conditioner, and body wash I was currently using and put it in the shower. I had my own tooth brush, cup, and toothpaste which I sat in a corner on the bathroom counter along with my face wash. I figured I could keep everything else in the bottom of my closet. I stopped in Phil’s room.

“Hey, what are we doing for supper?” I asked making Phil look up from his computer.

“Oh, we need to go food shopping so do you just wanna get a pizza or something?” Phil asked.

“Yeah, should I go and ask Dan what he wants?” I said turning to go out the door.

“No, he’s about to start a live show so we’ll ask him later.” Said Phil. I nodded and left his room.
When I got back to my room I decided to unpack my stuffed animals. I put them all on top of my closet except for a small panda pillow pet which I may or may not sleep with every night. Then I figured I should probably make my bed.

I had just washed my sheets and blankets before the move so when I opened the box I was enveloped in the familiar scent of my fabric softener. I made the bed quickly. I took all of my fluffy blankets that I used to keep on my couch and put them in a pile in the opposite corner along with all of my throw pillows. I would figure out what to do with them some other time.

I put my full length mirror up on the back of the door. I got a good look at myself. I had always been a Plain Jane. I wasn’t overweight but by no means was I in shape. I mean those stairs almost kill me every time. My eyes are a light gray color that tend to look darker when I wear white. My waist-length hair is just brown. The only things that really stood out about me is the fact that I am incredibly tall for most girls, I always look more tanned than my friends even in the winter, and the strip of blond I put in my hair that made me feel like a rocker chick. When in actuality I am a massive nerd who plays video games with Phil all of the time and I had an in depth conversation about Pokémon with Dan once.

Today I had on a pair of black leggings with a dark gray tribal like print and one of my old t-shirts that I would never wear in public. When I have to interact with other humans out in London, I usually wear dark colored skinny jeans and whatever shirt I grabbed that morning. Literally my entire wardrobe was black and white, mostly black. I had a few colored t-shirts, but they were mostly the old oversized t-shirts that I slept in and my nerd shirts, as my brother likes to call them. I tore my eyes from the mirror and continued to unpack and straighten my room up.

I placed my pillow pet in the center of my bed on the pillows as a last touch. I could still hear Dan talking so I assumed that he was still doing the live show. I just headed to the lounge with my basket of dirty laundry that I didn’t get a chance to do before I had to move and my laptop. I went on to my blog and started reading comments and replying while I waited for Dan to finish up.
I hadn’t been on my laptop for long when Dan came in and sat next to me of the couch.

“Hey how did the live show go?” I asked.

“Good. What’s that?” said Dan pointing to my dirty laundry. I noticed there was a pink, lace covered bra right on top.

“What never seen a bra before, Daniel?” I asked looking at Dan with a smirk.

“More than you would think, Samantha.” Said Dan with a wink. It made my stomach do flips for two reasons: one because of the pang of jealousy I felt at knowing other girls got the chance to be with Dan, and two because I hate myself for thinking about Dan like that. I pushed all of the feelings down.

“Where is your washing machine?” I asked, shaking my head. He showed me the way and I got busy loading the washing machine while Phil ordered pizza. I went back into the lounge and sat between Dan and Phil.

“Wanna watch something?” Phil asked me and Dan.

“Sure.” Said Dan not looking up from his laptop. I just nodded. Phil busied himself with setting up the movie and getting drinks. While Phil did that, I leaned over pressing my shoulder against Dan’s so I could see what he was doing. Tumblr, of course. Dan looked down at me. I met his gaze and I could feel myself getting lost in his eyes.

I managed to pull myself away and when I looked back at his computer, he had turned it away. I pouted and sat with my arms crossed. Dan took one look at me and started to laugh. I glared at him.
“I’m sorry, you just look so adorable. I didn’t know you could do that with your face.” Said Dan still laughing. I wanted to hit him.

“So, I’m not adorable any other time?” I said raising an eyebrow looking at Dan with mock anger.

“Nope. Definitely not adorable.” Said Dan with a smirk. I laughed it off but my heart kind of hurt even thought I knew he was joking. This whole living with Dan thing was starting out on a bad foot. Just then Phil walked in with the pizza and drinks then we started the movie.

I only managed to eat one piece of pizza before I started nodding off. I decided I better go to bed before I fell asleep on the couch. I said good night to the boys and went upstairs. It took me a few minutes to find the clothes I wanted to wear to bed because I just wasn’t used to how things were set up yet. I changed and climbed into bed where I drifted off to sleep.



I was awoken by a knock on my door. I groaned but didn’t move. Another knock came and I ignored it just like the last. I knew what was going to happen next so I covered my head with my blanket and prayed he would go away.

When I lived in my old flat, Dan and Phil had a key and they just came over all of the time. Usually when I was still sleeping. I worked a lot of nights when I had two jobs. Dan had always had a very specific way of waking me up if I was still in bed when he came over. It apparently hadn’t changed since I moved in with them and I’m pretty sure it never will.

I heard the door creak open just as I assumed it would. He thought I was still asleep and couldn’t hear him. He crept over to the edge of my bed then stopped. Before he could do anything else I jumped out from under the covers and yelled boo. Dan jumped into the air. I fell back on the bed and laughed rolling onto my stomach. Then he jumped on me.

“Don’t you know it’s not nice to scare people?” asked Dan sitting on my back. I lifted my head trying to breathe.

“Don’t you know it’s not nice to suffocate your friends?” I asked my voice muffled by the pillow.

“Haha you sound like Phil when I catch him secret eating my cereal at 3 am.” Said Dan. His laughter shook me and I couldn’t help but smile a little. I quickly wiped the smile off my face.

“So I sound like a man?” I said causing Dan to laugh even harder.

“Well, you could pass as one with that morning voice you’ve got going on there.” I tried to punch him but I couldn’t so I kicked him instead. We wrestled around for a few minutes play fighting and it then led to fits of laughter.

“Come on. It’s time for breakfast and Phil wants your pancakes.” Said Dan getting up and grabbing my foot starting to pull me off the bed. I clung on.

“I don’t want to cook. I don’t want to get out of bed.” I said making Dan stop.

“For me?” said Dan putting on the pout that made my stomach turn. I have this idiotic crush on him and no matter how much I try to push it down, it always seems to resurface. I let out a sigh.

“Fine,” I said with an eye roll. I was starting to think I should have never made them midnight pancakes. Especially if I was going to have to make pancakes every morning.

“Well hurry up and put some pants on.” Said Dan dropping my foot and walking to the door. I jumped out of bed and ran up to Dan hugging him from behind causing him to jump.

“I’m wearing shorts.” I said. He was almost a head taller than me. He could easily kiss my forehead without him having to bend down or me having to go up on tippy toes. Damn it Sammie, he’s your best friend. Stop. I let go of him and slid past him.

“Oh and by the way, gotcha.” I said tuning back to look at him before descending the stairs.

“Ha ha you’re so funny. I’ll just have to get you really good next time.” Said Dan with an evil grin. I stuck my tongue out and ran down to the kitchen where I busied myself making pancakes.

“Hey Sam.” I heard from behind me. I turned.

“Hey Phil, Dan said you wanted pancakes.” I said showing him the pancake I had in the pan. Phil walked closer to me.

“I knew Dan could get you outta bed and make you cook for us.” Said Phil bumping shoulders with me. Phil knew about the crush I had on Dan and he totally took advantage of my weakness for Dan. I would have never told him because he’s shit at keeping secrets, but he guessed and I’m a terribly liar. I made him promise not to tell Dan or anyone for that matter. It’s gone good so far. This seems to be the only secret that he has ever managed to keep for this long.

“Phil!” I whisper shouted giving him a look to shut up. He laughed at me. I turned back to the pancake and flipped it before I ended up burning it.

“I was hoping I would be able to watch you make the batter. I wanna know how you make them taste so good.” Said Phil leaning up against the counter, his eyes never leaving the bowl.

“I fill them with love and my American-ness.” I said knowing the truth was sugar and vanilla extract, not that I would ever tell Phil that. Phil glared at me making me laugh.
I finished making the pancakes managing to only burn one (the first one by the way, Thanks Phil) and the fire alarm didn’t even go off. Phil helped me carry everything into the lounge and set it on the table.

“Phil, will you go and get Dan?” I asked going back to the kitchen to get the plates. When I got back, Phil was sitting at the table in the lounge eyeing the pancakes.

“Where’s Dan?” I asked him making him jump a little.

“Oh he’s just getting out of the shower.” Said Phil. His eyes never leaving the pancakes. I sat next to him, putting a plate down in front of him.

“Do I really have to wait?” asked Phil giving me a pout.
“You and I both know that if Dan and I don’t get ours first, you will eat them all.” I said to Phil remembering the last time I made pancakes and Phil ate them all before I got one. He felt so bad but
I didn’t mind much. I have really never been a pancake person. I’d rather just have toast.

“Okay.” Said Phil. I could tell he still felt bad for eating them all.
I was just about to yell to Dan for him to hurry up but just as I was about to yell he walked in. I had to literally put my hand under my chin to keep from my mouth gaping open. Dan came out in just a pair of pajama bottoms. No t-shirt. I mentally slapped myself. Stop staring dammit. I turned my focus on to the pancakes. Before I looked away I saw how the bottoms were riding down his hips showing the band of his underwear. The image was burned into my mind. Bad brain. No, stop picturing it. I grabbed a pancake and started putting butter and maple syrup on it. Dan sat across from me. I looked up.

“Dan why are you nearly naked?” I asked trying with all of my might not to stare at his naked chest.

“I’m not naked. I have pants on.” Said Dan running his hand though his still damp hobbit hair. I just stared at him for a couple of seconds. It took all I had in me to not look at his bare chest. Dan sighed.

“If I put on a shirt I’ll get maple syrup all over it and then I’ll have to change.” Said Dan. We all knew how clumsy Dan could be. “Plus just because you’re living here now doesn’t mean I’m changing anything so you’re just going to have to deal with my nudity.”

I just looked at him.

“Yeah but if you get syrup all over you, you’ll just have to shower again.” I said not really wanting him to put on a shirt but at the same time it was very distracting and I don’t think I could have kept my eyes off him.

“Fine. I’ll put a shirt on.” Said Dan getting up and leaving. He was back in a few minutes.

“Better?” Said Dan sitting, no longer bare-chested, across from me.

“Much.” I said cutting into my pancake and bringing the loaded fork to my mouth. “Well you better get some pancakes before Phil eats them all.”

“I’m sorry!” Phil shouted as Dan shoved half a pancake in his mouth and moaned. I nearly choked on my pancake in laughter.