Love and War Aren't a Game

This sucked balls. I understood why Steve had punished me by excluding me from the next assignment, and I was glad that he hadn’t gone to more extreme measures, but it was still difficult to be stranded back at the base again. After fighting for so long to be put in the field on missions, my dream had finally come true and already I had screwed it up and put myself back in the boring hell I had been desperately trying to get away from.

While I was running my hand over my braided hair and wondering if I should braid it again for the millionth time today, a knock resounded from the door. I stayed lying down on my bed, not feeling particularly bothered to stand and answer it. Being bored out of my mind hadn’t given me much energy to do anything, except for going to the range in the mornings to practice my aim.

“Come in,” I called out when the person knocked a second time. I tore my eyes away from the ceiling and looked to see who it was. My heart skipped a beat when the person I least expected entered.

“Bucky,” I stammered, quickly pushing myself upright to sit on my bed instead. The team must have only just returned from their mission, so why the hell was he coming to see me? Bucky gave me a small smile while closing the door, and when he turned back around to face me I spotted the patch of dried blood on his forehead. “Are you okay? What happened?” I jumped up and met him halfway across the room, which wasn’t saying much since my quarters were so damn tiny, only able to fit a single bed and a small set of drawers. Once there I also noticed that he was clutching his ribs with one hand.

“I’m fine, I just got into a fist fight, I’ll get a nurse to patch me up later,” Bucky said to shrug me off. It didn’t stop me from raising my hand and brushing aside part of his fringe to look at the wound better. Someone must have really clocked him well.

“Why haven’t you gone to the medic bay? Isn’t that the usual first stop when you return from a mission injured?” I asked and then I noticed his smirk. I pulled my hand away from him and took a small step backwards.

“Didn’t know you cared so much, Cat,” Bucky remarked.

“I don’t,” I immediately countered, spitting out a response far too quickly for my liking. “Why are you here?”

“To say that a good sniper could have shot the bastard before he attacked me and prevented this,” Bucky replied with a short chuckle before helping himself to a seat on my bed. He gestured for me to join him so I did, not taking my eyes off his unreadable expression.

“Why are you really here?” I wondered. There was no way in hell Bucky had shown up just to give me a short compliment, especially since he had made it obvious in the past that he wasn’t keen on admitting that I was a skilled sniper.

“I, uh… I couldn’t stop thinking about you during the last mission. I missed you being there with us,” Bucky said. I held his gaze for a few seconds and then gave a snort of laughter, guessing that he was messing with me. He frowned and I fell silent. “I’m serious, Cat, I-”

“Stop calling me Cat, I’m not your pet,” I commented and Bucky’s face fell further. This obviously wasn’t how he had intended this conversation was going to go, but I wasn’t in the best of moods. Suddenly the pain of being rejected for Steve’s latest assignment and the annoyance of Bucky’s pet name was replaced by guilt for making him upset too. “I’m sorry… What were you saying?”

“It, uh, it doesn’t matter,” Bucky said before giving a small shake of his head. “I was going to tell you what I thought about you and then make some stupid remark about getting a kiss to make me feel better, but you’re not interested in me, I get it. I’ve clearly misinterpreted everything.” Bucky made a move to stand up but I grabbed the back of his navy blue jacket and stopped him from shifting away from me. My stomach was jittering from anxiety but I knew that I had to say what was on my mind, otherwise how would I ever get a straight answer from him?

“I thought about you too,” I confessed, my voice practically a whisper. “Especially when we were locked in the strategy room…” I inhaled to try to steady my nerves and then looked up to meet Bucky’s gorgeous blue eyes. We only held each other’s gaze for a second before he leaned in and kissed me, strong and without a hint of hesitation. It was obvious what he wanted, even if it was difficult for me to believe that he wanted me of all people, but I was willing to give that to him.

Bucky lowered me onto the bed, so gentle in comparison to the way he had thrown me down the last time we did this, and started to unbutton my shirt to allow his kisses to travel down my torso. I couldn’t help but squirm under his light touch, but his fingertips became a source of strength once he had removed the rest of my clothes. Bucky gripped onto my hips and held me as immobile as possible while he laid teasing kisses on my inner thighs. When a whimper escaped my lips, Bucky smirked and then finally kissed me where I so desperately wanted him to. His tongue swirled against me and regular moans escaped my mouth, my senses heightening even more when a pair of his fingers were thrust inside me. It was rather obvious that Bucky had practiced this act before and I found myself becoming a quivering mess in his palm much sooner than I had anticipated, but I didn’t want the pleasure to end.

When Bucky shifted position, I caught the way he grimaced and recalled that he had suffered through a fight and had to be aching all over. I reached up and helped him out of his clothes, then down onto the bed while I looked over his toned body to spot the bruises on his ribs and a particularly nasty one still darkening above his left knee. It further proved that Bucky wasn’t going to get his release by having his way with me, so I took the responsibility into my own hands and climbed on top of him.

As I rode him, Bucky’s hands wandered along the curves of my body and the corners of his lips gradually turned upwards. Sometimes I couldn’t tell if the grunts he made were because I was aggravating his injuries, but he never asked me to stop so I didn’t until his grip tightened on my hips and brought me to a halt while he rode out his ecstasy. Eventually Bucky cradled my neck and pulled me down into a heated kiss, which I returned until a short groan made me pull away.

“Am I hurting you?” I breathed against his lips, hoping I wasn’t putting an uncomfortable pressure on one of his bruises.

“It doesn’t matter,” he promised me while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and then using that as an excuse to pull me back into a kiss.

A few moments later I found myself lying on Bucky’s rapidly rising and falling chest, just listening to his heartbeat. I wanted to ask what we were doing together, but then again I didn’t necessarily care. We weren’t fighting for once, and I didn’t want to risk putting an end to our new relationship, so I remained quiet and enjoyed resting on his naked body.