The Anti-Love Story

When Michael told me to get in I did not hesitate. i grabbed Emily's arm and dragged her into the back of the Suburban, almost dislocating her shoulder. We settled in the back, I sat close to Michael and laid my head on his shoulder with his arm around me. Emily sat on the left of me looking a little alone, since Ashton was sitting in the passenger seat. I eyed her from my peripheral vision, I noticed her make a face, and when I glanced at Ashton he was staring at her.

All our dreams had come true in a matter of hours. Emily and I had met our fave band members, we had bonded with them backstage, and we were invited back to their hotel. Living this moment was worth all the pain and suffering over the past 2 years. Living the next few hours was worth all the beatings I endured protecting Connor. Every second I'm in Michael's presence or in his arms was worth the future grief.

Being with 5 Seconds of Summer was worth every single shitty thing that has happened and ever will happen. To feel Michael's breath on my skin, his lips on mine, to hold his body into me was worth everything. I pulled out my phone to text Emily, even though she was right next to me. I typed the words 'Thank You' with a few emoticons. I looked up from Michael's chest and saw him looking at me. In the dark of the night, all i could see was the hint of red hair and his white smile with his eyes on me.

My phone vibrated and I looked at it and saw Emily had texted me. 'For what???' I looked at her but I knew she couldn't see the face I was making.

'You know...For bringing me to the concert and being my best friend' I sent her the text and waited for her response which came moments later.

'You do realize who you are talking to right??' I smiled to myself at how nonchalant she was being.

'Yes i do. I just wanted you to know if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be sitting next to Mikey right now...in his arms might i add' i sent a few sexual implication emoticons and some winks.

I heard her laugh next to me 'Well you are my BBMGC and I'm your BBAFI and together we are Keeping Place the dynamic musical female duo'. I read the text and I felt a tear form in the corner of my eye.

I had forgotten about Keeping Place. Keeping Place was the name of our band. the moment we met in choir class in elementary school we clicked. We were inspired by Heart. The two women who wrote Barracuda, were the reasons we wanted to make music. We wanted a different vibe, something similar to White Stripes. When we heard the song Seven Nation Army, we knew we were set to become a musical duo. Emily loved to bang on things so she wanted to learn drums, i wanted to play an instrument too, to add depth to our music, so I chose guitar, we both would sing. Our choir teacher let us use the music room to practice. We were so good, we wanted to upload videos of our music on YouTube, in hopes to be discovered like Justin Bieber or 5 Seconds of Summer.

Thinking about how we were forced to put Keeping Place on hold because , dad destroyed my guitar and Emily's drum set when he got laid off and refused the replace them, because he thought Emily's parents should replace the instruments since they purchased them in the first place. My breath hitched in my throat at the memory. Michael heard it and pulled me closer to comfort me.

"Are you okay?" He whispered in my ear. His warm breath soothed my aching heart.

I couldn't form words at that moment. My mind was stuck. I think he realized something was wrong because we stopped and he just held me against me, rubbing my back. I didn't understand why I was being so bipolar. I was starting to put a damper on the fun. I felt like Michael was starting to get annoyed with my mood swings.

We pulled into the hotel parking lot just as Michael texted me an eggplant with a doughnut followed my a winky face. i sent him a winky face back with a doughnut and a crossed out. He then sent me a sad face with the word's 'You know I'm hard and I know you're wet.' I laughed out loud instead of sending 'lol' since he was right next to me.

I was over joyed to know Michael wanted to have sex with me. I would love to seize the opportunity, since I might never see him again, but i didn't want to be that fan. I wanted to get to know Michael in the next hour or two we had together... before I fucked him.

We had been walking through the hotel, lagging behind a bit so we could make faces at each other, and have unspoken conversations either with our eyes or sex implied emoticons.

Finally Calum called out to us. We jogged the distance to get to the rest of the group.

Luke and Calum seemed to keep to each other much like me and Michael. Emily and Ashton seemed to have finally taken to each other and were holding hands. All night they were having telepathic conversations with their eyes and now they were making physical contact.

"Well we'll see you guys later." Michael said to the rest of the group. He wanted to get me away from the others. We were outside what I assumed was his room because he put a hotel key in the door. He pushed open the door pulling me with him through the threshold. I started to laugh from how forward he was being. It seemed anything Michael did helped flip the switch of my mood and/or behavior. He switched on the light but dimmed it once we both moaned at how bright it was. Once my eyes adjusted and I didn't have blotches in my sight,

I focused on Michael. I felt like we were always staring at each other now, making faces and hinting at the obvious sexual tension in between us. I felt like it came out of no where. I was Thankful for it though, it helped keep my mind on something I actually wanted to think about.

"So...Do you know why the sound check thing didn't freak me out?" Michael broke the silence.

I jumped a little at the sound of his deep accented voice filling the void of silence. "Um, because you thought it was funny and brave." I joked. I honestly didn't know why he wasn't creeped out, it hadn't crossed my mind, which it probably should have. Of all the things I was thinking, why wasn't logic in the mix?

He made a small noise that i couldn't quite hear but I assumed it was a laugh, "Because i knew who you were the moment i turned around and saw you in that trance."All of the sudden I had answers to questions I didn't have, I was more confused than I should have been.

I wanted to put 2 and 2 together and see the big picture, but my mind was failing again. His laugh was noticeable this time, he saw the obvious confusion on my face and tried to explain. "Okay so here's a question for you. How many times to do you tweet and mention me or tag me in photos on Instagram, and similar things on social media?"

My face flushed thinking that he actually saw my posts, "A lot." I said simply.

"Well my point exactly." He said with another laugh. "I've seen them trust me. I know what I mean to you and I wanted to give the happiness you wanted. I didn't think I would feel this way about you when I met you." He continued to explain.

It clicked everything made sense. "So that's why you told me you were nervous." I said.

He nodded and pushed me on the bed. "Enough small talk. Lets play Titanic. You be Iceberg and I'll go down." For some reason it wasn't as funny in real life like it was in the videos. I felt tingles shoot down my body as he touched me. We were really going to do this. Did I want him to? Would I regret? Even if he was Michael fucking Clifford. I didn't know what to do. I knew what i wanted him to do.

"Stop." I said as I pushed him off me a little. "Look, I refuse to be that fan that has sex with her favorite band member. As much as I would love to, having sex with you isn't what I fantasize about." He looked at me with eyes of compassion and understanding. "I fantasize about telling you how much you mean to me. About expressing to you how shit my life is and thanking you for being one of the shining stars in my black galaxy. I want to hug you and appreciate you." I explained to him.

I saw a single tear fall from the corner of his eye. I had touched Michael Clifford's heart. Seeing him cry made me weep instantly. He grabbed me and held me. He calmed his breathing and laid down so we were cuddling. I felt bad that I ruined everything.

I laid there a little longer with jagged breathing and just listened to the beat of his pumping heart. "Would you come on tour with us?"

My eyes shot open at the question. "What?"