Nothing Really Matters

“Hey! Wake up!”
I was roughly shaken awake the next morning by a cop.
“Alright, alright, take it easy. I’m going.”
I sat up and the cop walked away, but kept looking back at me, making sure I moved from my spot where he probably thought too many tourists could see me. I made it to the closest bench and sat down to eat some breakfast. When I tried to find something eatable in my pack I remembered the money in my jacket. I hadn’t had that much money in my life. Almost 2000 $ was hiding in my jacket pocket, waiting to be spent. I decided to head for one of the many hostels in town where I would be able to stay for a good month if I wanted. On the way I past one of my many pound shops and decided to get a smart phone.

“Hey there, sunshine. What’ve you got for me today?”
“Not selling today, Marcus. I’m buying”.
I walked up to the counter to the big black man I had done so many deals with the past few years. He nodded quaintly.
“I see… What can I do for you?”
“A cell phone, smart phone, whatever you’ve got. And a good deal, Marcus. I’ve made you tones of cash you know that.
“What the hell do you need a smart phone for?”
“Everyone got them, you know, all the cool kids. I want to be cool.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, honey I get it I don’t need to know.”
“No, you don’t.”

5 minutes later I walked out of there with a full functional iphone. It wasn’t as fancy and new as the one I had had my hands on yesterday, but it was working and I could make calls if I got that crazy idea. Did I really just get a phone so that I could call him? I almost turned back to Marcus when I came to the next corner, but since he had actually given it to me free of charge I figure I had nothing to lose. I could just leave it turned off for the rest of its life.

Sorry I took your stuff.

I didn’t know what got into my. It was the night after I had first laid my eyes on him and I was lying in a newly made bed with fresh sheets and I had eaten more food that day then I normally ate in a whole week. I texted him and at the same time I had pressed send I throw the phone away, almost scared of myself. After him I had promised myself to never let another man touch me or come close to me ever again. He had destroyed so much in me, both physical and mentally. I would never again let a man do that again and I couldn’t let someone like Norman come close, just because he was sexy for fuck’s sake!

I got them back, didn’t I?
Why did I pick it back up when it vibrated? Before I had finished reading another text came.
Glad to see you used some of the money to get your own.
Why did you let me have it?
As I said, you seemed to need them more then me.
I still don’t need your help, I get by just fine without your or anyone else’s help.
You brook into an office to have somewhere to sleep for the night. You stole my bag.
So my life ain’t perfect, like yours but I can take care of myself.
Who said my life was perfect? You said I didn’t know shit, and that’s true, but you don’t know shit about me nether. My life ain’t perfect.
Got a fancy pansy address that says otherwise. Why did you leave the card?
I don’t know. I saw you take the bag.
Really? Why didn’t you stop me? Ran after me?
I don’t know.
You don’t seem to know much, do you?
Not right now.
Why?
You always ask so many questions?
You said I didn’t know shit about. How else am I gonna know if I ain’t asking?
Thought I freaked you out.
You did. You do. I just never met anyone this stupid before.
Thanks a lot…
Just saying, who the hell gives a stranger 2 grand after stealing from them?
You’re right, I’m kinda stupid. Give them back to me then.
Hell no! Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I actually had a place to go to and sleep and come back the next day? Legally I mean…
How come you end up on the street in the first place?
You really don’t want to know. And I’m sure as hell won’t tell you.
Sorry… Hit a nerve I see.
Fuck you.
What’s your name anyway?
Why you wanna know?
You know mien, since you stole my wallet, seems only fare I know yours.
London.
Really? Awesome name!

I found myself smiling at the phone as he wrote and it suddenly hit me like lighting what the hell I was doing. This couldn’t, shouldn’t, be happening. I usually never gave people my real name. Marcus knew me as Allison. The cops had me registered under at least 3 different names and none of them were actually my real one. But I just told him. A complete stranger for fuck’s sake! I started to become afraid for myself. I really was my own worst enemy and I needed to end this conversation before I didn’t something even more stupid.