Explosions

Weeks passed. Charlie helped get J.J.’s charity moving along a little faster, and he was spending every waking moment with kids in hospitals or in need of something better in their life. She didn’t mind. In fact, she loved that he cared so much about the kids in Houston. Unfortunately for their relationship, his time with her was decreasing by the day.

She hadn’t heard anything from Ryan since he’d left, and even the rumors began to die down. J.J. hadn’t said anything to her about it, and she assumed he didn’t even have a clue about it until it was already done. She never asked him, though, and he never let on.

They watched the draft at a party at Brian’s house. Mal asked Charlie about Ryan, but she admitted to knowing nothing. He shrugged it off, saying simply that he missed hanging out with him. He had begun to fade from Charlie’s mind again as she pushed him further away.

She and J.J. had made the journey to Seattle to celebrate Dean’s first birthday. They had paid to have a small playground constructed in June’s backyard, a gift that Ben and June originally refused. After viewing the plans and a short convincing session by J.J., they had finally agreed. They sent pictures with the progress, and when it was done, they sent pictures of Dean on it. He had the biggest grin on his face, and Charlie was giddy for him.

J.J. disappeared for a week to Wisconsin with his family, and Charlie was left at home by herself for the week. She shouldn’t have minded as much as she did, but he never went out of town without her unless it was for a game. She called him a few times, and they chatted about how his family and friends were doing there. They had asked about her. She knew they’d asked about the Ryan trade, but she didn’t ask him.

He came back a week before their anniversary with the information that he’d bought a lake house in Wisconsin. When Charlie questioned him, J.J. simply said he thought they should have a place of their own when they went to visit. It should have been a fight. Why didn’t they buy a place in Boston, if that was the case? She let it go, though, and let him carry on with what he wanted.

She shouldn’t have. She shouldn’t have let it go, but he felt so foreign to her now. She didn’t know him or his day-to-day activities anymore. She chocked it up to a contract-signing impulse. He had more money than he knew what to do with, and he had to do something with it. Right?

On their anniversary, they went to an extravagant dinner downtown, where he revealed they’d be spending the rest of the week in the Dominican Republic. He had pulled some strings with her boss and gotten her the week off. For once in the last few months, she was excited about something.

Their short week in Punta Cana was magical, and Charlie was in heaven. They left all their troubles in Houston, and she forgot about every ounce of stress she had succumbed to since the New Year. She swam in the ocean and lay on the beach. She felt the sun on her skin. She didn’t know it then, but those rays of sun were the last little bits of true happiness she would have for quite some time.

The warmer weather in Houston meant OTAs would be starting soon. The start of OTAs meant Charlie would be seeing even less of J.J. than she had been. The unspoken distance between them was taking a toll on their relationship, but she had hope they might have some time together before training camp. After the start of training camp would be when Charlie took her annual marketing trip. This year, she would be traveling to New York City.

J.J. had won the Defensive Player of the Year Award again, and everywhere they went, someone would stop him for pictures or autographs. It began to be a routine. They would need to allot an extra thirty minutes extra for whatever they were planning on doing, just on the assumption they would get stopped. He would never refuse, and sometimes Charlie would be waiting for upwards of an hour. She loved that he cared so much about everyone, but it was getting under her skin.

June had called with news that she was pregnant again, just a couple months after Dean’s first birthday. She was due around Valentine’s Day next year. She would find out the sex of the baby in just a couple short months, and during that time, Charlie would be planning her next few visits to the rainy city.

Her 28th birthday was spent with a visit from her family. They’d stayed at her house for a few days, seeing Houston while she was at work and having a good time when she was home. It had been hardest for Wendy to move past Kyle’s death, but she was getting along and moving on a little bit more every day. J.J. gave them a tour of the stadium. During the tour, they ran into a recently traded-for Vince Wilfork, a former Patriot and one of Jim’s favorite players. He wouldn’t shut up about it for two days.

Charlie’s trip to New York City was all set. She hadn’t visited there since she’d dated Vince, and this time she was going to do all the sightseeing she could outside of her conference. She’d told J.J. she would take lots of photos for him since the only time he’d ever been there was for games. He was sad he couldn’t go with her, but he couldn’t wait to get started with training camp.

This year’s training camp would be being filmed by HBO for their documentary series called Hard Knocks. J.J. had joked with Charlie about people being surprised by the football version of him as opposed to the version everyone thought they knew. She shrugged it off, knowing people’s opinions of him would never change, as they shouldn’t. He was a great guy, and he deserved every bit of attention that came his way.

They saw less and less of each other as the summer wore on. Charlie, despite all of her previous efforts, was living with a ghost again. She loved him, and he loved her. They told each other often. It just didn’t feel like enough. She had begun to wonder if their relationship had hit its peak, but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind. She would always love him.

Little did she know, J.J. had begun to feel the same way. The more people he saw, the less he thought about her. He would hold her and kiss her, but they were different people now. Occasionally, he would catch her in the bathroom or kitchen, wiping her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. He always held her, but she said she was okay. He couldn’t help but feel like he’d done this to her – taken away his trust, and in its place, a hollow shell to fill the void.

He was so wrapped up in everything going on around him, he forgot what it felt like to be next to her all the time. They hadn’t had sex in at least two months, and even before that, they were just going through the motions. She ate alone most nights because he didn’t come home until late. He called her when he could, but she was so busy preparing for the conference. His heart ached to fix their broken bond, but he didn’t know where to begin.

Nothing was the same anymore. Charlie was too afraid to say anything to him, but they were different people. They had changed over the last year, and the words left unsaid had crumbled a foundation they were trying desperately to rebuild. Her mind was solely focused on her trip now, until the moment the plane took off.