Trading Heartbeats

Niall, it turned out, was a nervous talker. The second I pulled out onto the street, his mouth was going. And it wasn't saying anything interesting. I tried to keep my cool, and honestly I think I did pretty well even though at times I really just wanted to reach over and clap my hand over his mouth. But instead I made noises here and there to acknowledge the words I was mostly ignoring.

He was in the middle of saying something about my choice of music when I cut him off. "Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole."

He looked at me briefly. We had been driving down a dark, curving road. I pulled onto the freeway. "Where are you taking me?" he inquired, turning his attention straight ahead.

"Back to your hotel if you don't shut the fuck up. I swear to God, Niall," I said. From the corner of my eye I saw his expression shift. He hadn't been expecting that. "If I can be honest, I like your mouth a lot better when it's not talking," I added.

He turned his attention on me again, this time angling his entire upper body toward me. And he just looked at me, his jaw slack. But he didn't say anything. Just stared.

I kept my eyes straight ahead, but I felt a pull in my stomach the longer his gaze remained on me. "My mom is a police officer. All the cops in the area know me, know my truck. And all the lookouts are no parking zones between the hours of twelve and five in the morning," I explained calmly. "So, we're going somewhere I'm less conspicuous," I finished.

"Hard to be in this thing," he commented.

I didn't even think. My immediate reaction was extend my arm and hit him. In the chest. Hard. The back of my hand thudded against his body, vibrations running up my arm at the force of the contact.

He grunted, reaching up to rub where I'd assaulted him. "Jaysus, Jessilynn," he groaned.

"Reflex," I shrugged. I reached over to turn up the music. He immediately turned it back down. "Christ, Niall!" I exclaimed.

After quickly examining exactly where we were, I pulled off at the next exit, drove a little bit and then pulled off the road. It wasn't where I was planning on going, but it was going to have to do. I killed the engine but left the car on and clicked the button on my seat belt, letting it slide up across my body. I turned fully toward him.

"What's your damage?" I spat.

He was taking his seat belt off with one hand, and with the other he was grabbing my arm, pulling me over the center console. My first instinct was to fight him, but instead, for whatever reason, I let him. I let him grab my other arm and pull me on top of him.

He kissed me roughly and I couldn't suppress the moan that built up in the back of my throat. I felt his smirk against my mouth and I knew what he was thinking. I just prayed he wouldn't say it out loud.

His grip on one of my arms loosened then disappeared altogether, his hand falling down to my hip and slipping underneath my shirt. His fingers, warmer than the night we met but still slightly cold, glided up my stomach until his hand closed around my breast. He gave a gentle squeeze, then let his thumb rub over my nipple. Unlike earlier, there wasn't fabric separating our skin.

I breathed in his air sharply, and grinded my hips into his. He groaned and it was my turn to smirk. His thumb stroked my nipple more roughly and his grip on my arm tightened. I grinded my hips against his again, reaching down with my free hand to lean the seat back, putting us at a much better angle for what we were doing, for what we were about to do.

Our mouths moved against each other's frantically, his thumb still moving, my hips still grinding. It took a lot of effort, but I pushed myself up, breaking us apart momentarily. He jerked me back to him, his grip on my arm tight, and our mouths collided once again. I gasped when he pinched my nipple between his thumb and forefinger and pulled back again, this time putting my hand firmly against the seat next to his head.

He was smirking when I looked at him. Breathing heavily as I was, but smirking nonetheless. I leaned back in kissed him roughly, briefly. "You better have a condom," I said against his mouth.

His head turned away from me so I no longer had access to his mouth as he shifted underneath me. His hand fell from underneath my shirt, but his other held tight to my arm. It took me a minute to realize he was going for his wallet.

"Fuck," he muttered after a moment. He finally released his grip on my arm and his hand fell to the seat as his head hit back against the head rest.

I hit his chest. "Are you kidding?" I practically shouted at him. He moved his head slowly back and forth. I wanted to hit him again, but I refrained. "Are you fucking kidding? How could you not come prepared?" I demanded.

His head shot up, along with his upper body, pushing me into a more upright position. "Me?" he inquired. "How could I know? We met at a pub?" He was surprisingly calm but his tone had a slight edge to it.

"Oh, my God," I said, feeling the irritation bubbling in my chest. I reached for the door handle and pulled on it, then hopped down out of the truck.

I knew, rationally, that I shouldn't be so mad. But I had also gotten really wound up in a very short period of time. And, now, for just a minute, I needed to be away from Niall. I needed to not look at him. I needed to breathe. I'd begun to notice that could be a little more difficult with him in the immediate vicinity.

The lights on my truck cut off and I heard my keys jingle as I walked in the dark along the side of the road, hands firmly on my hips as I breathed in deeply and then out again. I heard feet on the pavement. "Jessilynn!" Niall called after me. The door slammed shut. "Jessi, what're ya doin'?"

Not that I was keeping count, but it was the first time in our brief acquaintance that Niall had called me Jessi. My stomach turned and my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't explain why if asked. I drew in a breath and then pushed it back out.

I hadn't planned on any of this when I got in my truck to meet Niall. My reason for not putting on a bra had only to do with laziness. I continued walking away from him, slowly, trying to steady my breathing. But I could hear his footsteps behind me, and it wasn't helping me to calm down any. He should have just stayed in the truck and let me have a moment.

Then, his hand closed around my elbow. More gently than earlier when he'd steered me into the alley, or when he pulled me across the truck. I let him spin me toward him and then let my free hand connect with his stomach.

"You pulled me into the alley and kissed me." I hit his ribs. "You pulled me out of my seat in the truck and kissed me." I hit his side. "You put your hands all over me." I hit his stomach again. And again. And again. I wasn't hitting him hard. I didn't want to hurt him. But I didn't want to be so frustrated with him either. I hit him again. And again.

"Jessi, stop."

Twice, I thought. I hit him again. Twice he'd not called me Jessilynn.

He grabbed my flailing arm, gently, as he'd done with the first, and leaned down. His lips found mine. But this time he wasn't rough. This time it was soft. This time his hands didn't feel quite so cold on my skin just below the pushed up sleeves of my hoodie. This time my stomach jumped.

He didn't linger long but it felt like he was there forever. His hands dropped from my arms. I stared up at him for just a moment, then quickly averted my eyes to the ground. I had no idea what they were saying. No idea what he could see in the dark.

"I didn't mean to blame you," he said quietly. My stomach jumped again. It almost sounded like an apology and I was not prepared for one. "However it came out, I didn't mean it that way. Was confused by how angry you got." My insides twisted. "Please can we go back to that mammoth truck of yours?"

My breath pushed out my nose and I tried to hide the smile that I could feel pulling at the corners of my mouth. I kept my eyes on the ground. "Bowser," I said.

"Pardon?"

I looked up, hoping my expression was neutral but it probably wasn't. Thank god for the darkness. "My truck's name is Bowser." Confusion flickered across Niall's face. "King Koopa? Super Mario Brothers? Please tell me you have even the slightest idea what I'm talking about?" I begged. His face remained blank. I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, heading back to the truck. "We've got some work to do," I declared.

"What, now?" he asked. I heard his footsteps so I knew he was following me.

I pulled open the driver's side door and hoisted myself up into the truck. Seconds later, Niall did the same on the passenger side. I held out my hand and he dropped my keys into them. I grinned at him and turned on the truck, shaking my head.

"No, not now. Now you're going to buckle up and shut up, and let me take you where I was going to take you."

I held his gaze as I spoke, and for the first time all night, he obliged without question. He kept his eyes on mine as he reached over his shoulder for the seat belt. My stomach jumped again when it clicked and we still maintained eye contact.

"Well?" he asked finally, a grin sliding across his face.

I winked and put the car in drive and flicked on my headlights, still keeping my eyes on his as I pulled onto the road. But only for a moment. Then, I shifted my attention to the road in front of me.

"You workin' today?" he inquired. He could have been making small talk, or he could have been trying to figure out how long we were going to be out, I didn't know. Either way, I shrugged and applied a little extra pressure to the gas pedal. He waited a long moment for me to respond. "Jessi?"

Three times. I ignored him, pressing harder on the gas. "You're gonna want to hold on," I suggested. From the corner of my eye I could see him look at me, but he didn't obey.

I shrugged again and pushed the pedal all the way to the floor. My truck's engine roared as we picked up speed, flying toward a curve.

"Jessi," he said again.

Four. Not that I was counting. I turned the steering wheel and eased up on the gas a bit, hugging the curve in the road. I slammed on the gas again as we came out of it. Niall's hand flew up to the handle above the door and I heard him breathe in deeply.

I focused on the next curve coming up. It was a little tighter, so I eased up on the gas sooner, but Niall remained tense next to me. I navigated the curve easily and accelerated quickly out of it, speeding toward the next one.

It took a few more before I felt Niall start to relax next to me. I kept my attention hyperfocused on the road in front of me. My heart raced with excitement. I'd done this a hundred times before but couldn't afford even a small mistake.

I eased off the gas when I saw the paved lanes ending ahead, and continued on the narrow dirt road that began. I felt every time Niall's eyes shifted over to me. Felt his silent questions. We were in the middle of nowhere. In a big, loud truck. The streetlights had long since disappeared. I flicked on my highbeams for more light.

It was going on two in the morning when the road ended and I pulled my truck up next to a tree. Without a word, I killed the engine and hopped down, pulling open the back door and flipped up the seat. I pushed my bow, which always sat right on top, out of the way and reached for my beach bag. The seat dropped down into place.

I looked at Niall, still seated up front, confusion written on his face. "You coming?" I asked, then took a step back and shut the door.

After a moment, I guess of consideration, he climbed down out of the front seat. I started down a vague path that had been created by the foot traffic of several others before us. Niall fell into step next to me. Curiosity was radiating off him.

"Would you relax?" I said, nudging him with my elbow. "I'm not going to murder you, if that's what you're thinking."

It took a little bit, but Niall breathed out a laugh. "Wasn't worried about that. Just have no idea where we are," he said as we continued on.

"Good thing you're with someone who does," I replied.

He glanced at me wearily. "What's in the bag?" he inquired after a long moment. I shrugged. I think it irritated him, but he didn't say anything else.

Neither of us did. The path narrowed, forcing us to walk a little closer to each other. I shifted the bag from my left to my right so it was between us. So he bumped into it instead of into me as we walked. I shifted it back to the left when the path widened again and drifted slightly away from him. He looked over at me briefly.

I pointed to the clearing just a few yards ahead of us. His eyes followed my extended arm but he still looked uncertain. I bit back my smile and kept on until we reached my ultimate destination.

"Hot springs," I explained, setting my bag down on a tree stump. I kicked my shoes off, letting my feet sink into the cool dirt. "They've been closed for over a year now, so technically we're not supposed to be here." I pulled my keys and phone from my hoodie pocket and dropped them into my shoe, then shrugged off my sweatshirt and let it fall on the ground.

I pulled two towels from the bag as well as a blanket and put my shoes in the space they'd been. I slipped out of my tank top next, and glanced over at Niall. "Are you going in, or just planning on watching me?" I asked as I shimmied out of my joggers and underwear.

His eyebrow quirked but he kicked off his shoes and socks. I didn't wait around to watch him undress. Instead I found a dry enough spot and spread out the blanket. I dropped the towels closer to the water and jumped in. Warmth enveloped me. I breathed in deeply when I surfaced and turned to find Niall.

He was dipping his toe in. Like he didn't believe me. I rolled my eyes. "Just jump in, you big baby," I said.

His eyes somehow found mine in the dark. We held each other's gaze. And then he jumped. I had to move quickly as he came dangerously close to hitting me. My heart raced as he hit the water near me and disappeared underneath it. His hands found my waist on his way up and he lifted me with him as he resurfaced. I pointed up and his eyes followed. We gazed for a moment at the clear sky, bright with stars, that spread above us. After a moment his lips barely grazed my neck.

I wrapped my legs around his middle and my arms around his neck and leaned down to kiss him. He grinned against my mouth, keeping our rhythm slow even though I kept trying for the opposite. His hands held the small of my back, sending a shiver up my spine when his fingers tapped against my skin. I had to come up for air.

He took the opportunity to cover my exposed breast with his mouth. His tongue flicked against my nipple, hard from the cool night air, and I breathed in sharply. His hands moved up my back to support me better and I bent my head forward, gripping the hair at the base of his neck. He moved to the other breast and my breath hitched at his tongue's contact.

I moved my hands to his face and carefully lifted his head. The last thing I needed was for him to bite me. He was careful and released my breast with one last swipe of his tongue. I crashed my lips against his, but he commanded control, slow and steady. My stomach jumped but I kept my mouth on his. His fingers tapped a rhythm on my spine, sending another shiver when they hit a certain spot.

I broke away from him, pressing my hands to his shoulders and pushing off him. My legs left his body and my back hit the water. I quickly flipped over and pushed myself under the water, swimming in the opposite direction of where I'd just left Niall.

I heard him coming toward me when I surfaced so I gulped in a breath of air and disappeared under the water again. I wasn't the strongest swimmer, but I knew what I was doing well enough. I swam further away from him and then let myself resurface.

This continued for awhile. I had formed a theory. Maybe if I made him chase me, I could regain control. I'd lost it at some point. And I wanted it back. I needed it back.

Eventually, he caught up to me. His hands grabbed my sides but this time when he pulled me to him, one of his arms circled my waist. His free glided down my side, slipping underneath the water and running along my leg that I was wrapping around him, and then traveled back up and rested on my side.

In a quick decision, I unwrapped myself from him. He held onto me as I lowered further into the water. I kissed him hard and then dipped down toward his neck. He let his head fall back and I nipped where his collarbone dips. He breathed out heavily as I sucked the sensitive skin into my mouth. I don't know why I did it. If the roles had been reversed I would have been furious that he was trying to leave a mark on me. But he didn't seem to mind.

I unlatched from his neck and he immediately hoisted me back up. My legs curled around him again and our mouths met, hungry for the other. I put my hands on either side of his face as one of his hands slid down my back, over my butt and between my legs. I breathed out heavily as he pushed one finger, and then another, inside me.

"You alright?" he asked, pulling his mouth away from mine briefly. I nodded and crashed my lips against his again. He pulled away quickly. "Jessilynn?" he questioned.

"Yes," I said breathily, putting my mouth to his for a moment. "Yes," I repeated. "I'm spectacular." I could feel his grin when our lips met again.

He started to move his fingers, slowly at first, and then faster. I breathed heavily, trying to keep my mouth on his, but it was difficult with the amount of air I needed. At a single brush of his rough, calloused thumb against me, it became impossible.

I shot straight up and then arched my back, pressing my hips into his stomach. Niall had to work to keep his hold on me. He kept his fingers moving steadily, and then brushed his thumb against me, with more pressure this time.

"Oh God," I moaned, my head falling back as my back arched more. And he did it again. "Oh God."

I managed to push my upper body back toward him even though his thumb continued stroking me. My hands grasped his face and my mouth found his again. I tried to kiss him hard, but he set the pace slightly of our kiss slightly slower than the steady rate at which his fingers were moving.

My head spun. I couldn't focus enough to even consider what this was about. It wasn't like in the hotel room when he just wanted to hear me scream. This felt different. In my gut, I knew it was about something else. I just didn't know what.

I pulled my lips from his, my breathing heavily labored, and rested my forehead against his. His name fell from my mouth, barely above a whisper. He pushed a breath out his nose and pressed the pad of his thumb against me, applying slightly more pressure with each stroke until I could feel every groove of his thumbprint.

My body tensed. His lips caught mine, but only briefly. "Relax," he said softly. I could feel it building in my stomach. I was close and he knew it. "Jessi, come on," he cooed.

Five.

"Relax," he urged again, gently.

His fingers sped up a tiny bit, thumb pressing harder against me just right. A squeak escaped past my lips.

"Relax," he repeated, gently.

My back straightened, my head falling back. I gulped in air, and let it out. My heart raced. Niall's thumb stopped for just a moment and then started again. I lurched forward and pressed my mouth to his, forcing my moan down his throat as fireworks went off inside me. My toes curled, my fingers pressed against his neck, tangled in his hair. I kissed him as hard as he would let me, my entire body tingling. My limbs felt like jello, but his fingers kept a steady pace and his thumb kept moving, moving, moving until I felt like I was going to burst again.

"Fuck," I moaned, pulling my mouth from his. "Oh fuck."

Warmth spread all through my insides for a second time. My legs shook at Niall's waist and he used his hand on my back to guide my upper body back to him. His fingers slid slowly out of me. His thumb rubbed against me twice me more and he kissed me long and deep.

I stayed wrapped around him, mouth on his, as he guided us back to where we jumped in. I climbed out first, but his hands found my sides and his lips met mine the second he was on land. We stumbled toward the blanket and lowered to ground, never once breaking contact. He was gentle as he leaned forward, carefully pushing me down until my back hit the ground. His hand slid down my body and back between my legs. His fingers rested on the inside of my thigh. I wanted them inside me again.

His hand on me and his mouth against mine had me so distracted that I didn't even notice where his other hand was until he pulled back and held a small square in front of my face. I stared at it in the dark for a second, trying to make sense of it. His hand between my leg pushed up, his thumb pressing against me again, fingers rubbing, teasing. He caught my eye and grinned.

I reached up and snatched the condom from him, ripping it open. "You asshole," I said raggedly as he leaned down and covered my mouth with his.

I was not in control. Not even a little.