In Your Eyes

“What are you doing here?”

Her voice was as cold as the air and she didn’t turn around.

“You just disappeared on everyone,” he said.

“And why do you care?”

“What?”

“You heard me.” She sounded just as she did the day they met. “Shouldn’t you be packing to leave? After all, you clearly felt like coming here was a mistake. So go back home and be miserable.”

“Arella, about what I said….”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she snapped, finally standing and facing him. Her eyes were burning with anger. “I know how screwed up I am. And I now know that everything you said was a lie. I should have known better.”

She started to walk to her horse but he grabbed her arm. She turned and slapped him. Hard.

“Let me go!” she yelled, trying to get loose from his grip.

“Please,” he begged. “Just listen to me.”

“Why?” she asked, her eyes piercing right through him. It was almost terrifying. “So you can yell at me some more? So you can tell me all about how you really don’t care about me?”

“But I do care about you!” he yelled and she scoffed.

“Yeah, right,” she snarled and yanked hard again.

“You will listen,” he said softly, “because I’m not letting you go.”

“The guards will find us soon,” she threatened. “And I’ll tell them you’re hurting me.”

“Do you really hate me that much now?” he asked quietly and she stopped fighting him. “I don’t know what made me say those things last night,” he said, taking advantage of her silence. “They were horrible and I never should have said them.”

“Oh, you think?” she snapped and he sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered but her eyes didn’t soften. “I really am.”

Her eyes were still hard but her lips began to tremble. She sank to her knees, crying into her hands. He knelt down beside her and touched her shoulder. When she didn’t throw it off, he moved closer.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice tight. “Please forgive me.”

“Why would you do that to me?” she asked, looking up at him. “After everything we’ve been through, why would you say all those things?”

“I don’t know,” he repeated. “I was upset and I took it out on you. I don’t feel like I deserve you. I’m a mess.”

“So am I,” she whispered and he swallowed thickly. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t help each other.”

“Please,” he said, gripping her hands. “Please, forgive me. I’ll do anything.”

She stared into his eyes and he saw her wall start to come down. Finally, she nodded once and he hugged her tightly. He buried her face in his neck and he could feel her tears running down into his shirt.

--

They sat in the snow for a while, holding onto each other. Arella’s heart still ached from what he said but he did seem truly sorry.

“All I want is for things to go back to the way they were,” she said, her voice muffled.

“And they will,” he whispered. “I promise.”

They stood back up and he helped her to her horse.

“What were you doing!?” her mother screeched when they walked back in through the doors. “You could have been killed!” Arella hung her head. “And you!” she said, rounding on Mathias. “Where were you?”

“He came after me, Mother,” Arella said and the queen pressed her lips together. “Everything is okay now.”

Her mother was breathing heavily and turned to her husband for support.

“That was an incredibly foolish thing to do,” her father said, glaring at the two of them. “Don’t ever do it again; I don’t care how upset you are.”

They both promised not to and ascended the stairs, taking their cloaks off as they did so. Arella sighed when they reached her door.

“Things will calm down soon,” she said, draping her cloak over her arm. “And I’ll do whatever I can to-”

Mathias pressed his lips to hers roughly. At first she hesitated but then kissed him back just as passionately. He opened her door and they walked in, never breaking contact. He held her as close to him as he could and she tasted salt on her tongue. He was crying.

They dropped their cloaks to the floor as their breath quickened. She ran her hands through his hair, trying her best to keep her head straight but each touch of his lips on her neck made her heart flip. She pulled him to her bed and they fell onto it. Her body was on fire as he ran his hand slowly up her stomach and cupped her breast. She gasped against his lips and he sent a trail of kisses down to her neck.

Her body was shaking with a desire she knew he felt as he pressed his body harder to hers. He stopped and lay on top of her, panting heavily on her neck.

“I can’t wait any longer,” he groaned and pulled his shirt off.

Neither could she and she struggled with untying her corset. With their clothes discarded on the floor, he lifted himself up to stare into her eyes.

“I don’t know what to expect,” she whispered.

“I don’t either,” he replied and he kissed her.

Without breaking contact, he slid into her. She gasped as pain shot through her body. She whimpered slightly in pain as he pulled out and moved in deeper. He breathed heavily on her neck, his hands gripping her hips. Soon the pain stopped and a new feeling took over: pleasure. She moaned quietly and ran her hands down his back.

He moved faster, moaning in pleasure. His hand cupped her breast again and she shut her eyes tightly as he kissed it. His lips were soft and she gripped her hair, losing herself in his touch. He slid his tongue into her mouth and thrust in harder. She wrapped her legs around his waist until her body reached a level of pleasure she had never felt before.

She felt herself tighten around him and moaned loudly into the room. He groaned and pushed harder until she could feel her head almost touching the headboard with each thrust. Eventually he slowed down then cried out quietly in pleasure.

They lay beside each other, panting and holding one another in their arms. He kissed her passionately and she closed her eyes.

-

When she woke up, he was still asleep. Their limbs were tangled together and she opened one eye.

She gasped, pulling the blanket up over her chest.

“It’s okay,” her mother whispered as Arella’s face went from pale to red in less than a second. “Here.”

She moved the blanket so that it was still covering Mathias and put a hot rag on her stomach.

“This will help with the pain.”

“You’re not mad?” she asked and her mother smiled.

“Someday I’ll tell you about our first time,” she whispered then kissed Arella on the forehead.

She left quietly just as Mathias woke up.

“My mother came in,” Arella said and Mathias’s face turned red.

“Is she angry?” Arella shook her head, laying it back down on his bare chest. “Why the rag?” he asked, feeling it when she cuddled back close.

“It hurts,” she said honestly.

“You mean from last night?”

“My mother said the heat will help.”

He guided her face to his and kissed her.